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What part of "rest" does she not get? What part of "rest" does she not get?

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  #1  
Unread 08-19-2010, 07:58 AM
What part of "rest" does she not get?

Just general vent:

So I'm supposed to be resting,not lifting, etc this whole time, right?

I'm only working from bed because I can do so laying back.

Well, mom's constantly "come downstairs to watch TJ (toddler)", or "hold him for a while", or "I can't get him out of the crib"...it's constant. Which is why I end up overdoing it. I've been cooking, cleaning...I mean I've been doing about 60% of the work, which I appreciate her help, but I'm not supposed to be doing THAT much yet!

Just now, I'm here working, and she's like "watch him, I have to go to the basement". So I did. She takes 10 min to put on the washer. Comes back up, then says I need to be coming down more to watch TJ so she can "get breaks".

Umm....I was getting more work done WITHOUT the help, and I can only imagine the adhesions forming in there.

Thanks for the vent! She's just driving me nuts, and unlike her, I don't have the luxury of smoking breaks! (Although I'm THIS close to starting for the weight loss if nothing else)
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  #2  
Unread 08-19-2010, 08:45 AM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

My Mother is a Godsend......she's been here basically for two weeks and spent the night. She's helped with the kids so my hubbie can work.

She's also a chronic cleaner....she'll clean one side of the kitchen and then clean the other, then re-clean the first side. Just like an Ant, constantly doing something.

So my husband explained to her that she had three options:

1) Leave
2) Sit down and rest so that I would sit down and not overdo it.
3) Be drugged into submission.

She argued initially that she wasn't causing me to stress because I couldn't help her or that I was overdoing it because of her but ultimately realized it.

So since then she's been pretty good. My husband is insistent that I have only one chance to heal and that he doesn't want to face serious long-term problems or more operations because I overdid it during recovery.

Hang in there. Pretend you don't hear her!

LL
  #3  
Unread 08-19-2010, 09:29 AM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

Awe, my mom has been here since day 1 and will be here till the 31st. That's 3 weeks ;-) she is a little nerve plucking, as we moms can be ;-) (yes my son says I'm JUST like her...haha). So I am just trying to treat her like a work client......grin and bear it, let her THINK she's in charge, let her KNOW I am grateful, and count down till the curb drop @ the airport. Hahahaha..........I DO love her and am so appreciative and grateful that is financially able to take time off to stay and help me.....I am a single mother to a disabled 18 year old.
Good luck...........
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  #4  
Unread 08-19-2010, 11:26 AM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

Sounds like your mom is causing you major stress which is not needed right now you are suppose to be resting and getting better I've been lucky my mom has been here almost 2 weeks and has been a huge help she even drove 12 hrs to get here at 66 yrs old but if she was treating me like that i would probably tell her to leave ..is there anyone else you could ask for help? maybe that would be better for you. If not maybe you should tell her in no uncertain terms how important it is for you to be able to heal properly..I know I don't want to have any setbacks and you probably don't either..Best of luck to you
  #5  
Unread 08-19-2010, 11:33 AM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

  Quote:
Originally Posted by mam123 View Post
Sounds like your mom is causing you major stress which is not needed right now you are suppose to be resting and getting better I've been lucky my mom has been here almost 2 weeks and has been a huge help she even drove 12 hrs to get here at 66 yrs old but if she was treating me like that i would probably tell her to leave ..is there anyone else you could ask for help? maybe that would be better for you. If not maybe you should tell her in no uncertain terms how important it is for you to be able to heal properly..I know I don't want to have any setbacks and you probably don't either..Best of luck to you
Yeah, I was actually hoping that she's send my sister (also in FL). And no, we have no one else. No babysitters (never date), no relatives, no friends, called the church and they can't send anyone, no coworkers (work from home). Yep, we're pretty much all alone in bum-#@%@ing Buffalo. *laugh*

She leaves next Friday. He gets back Saturday night. We're trying to see if his godmother could come over Saturday but if not then I'm on my own. Except at least I won't have someone telling me what a mess my place is, how lazy my family and I are, how much weight I need to lose, etc etc.
  #6  
Unread 08-19-2010, 12:23 PM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

Hang in there. I pray that everything gets better.
  #7  
Unread 08-19-2010, 01:13 PM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

Aww, I too am hoping for things to get better for you. I completely understand what that's like, although I learned when my leg was broken at 27 years old (three very young children at the time) to try and go at it myself, my mother has a ton of the same wonderful attributes. (sarcasm implied, lol).


I am grateful that mine are teens (one preteen) now, they and my husband helped me so much during the time I have needed them. I don't know what I would have done if I had to rely on my mom. I love her to pieces but she tends to do plenty of the same things. "Why does your hair look like that", "I didn't gray at your age", then the little backhands that nobody else but you would see "you know I use ___ to clean ___ so mine never looks like this." *sigh* I feel for you so much. Hang in there! I wish I could help you out, because I would so be there!!!

Just know you're not alone in the mom thing.

((Hugs)))
  #8  
Unread 08-19-2010, 01:35 PM
Re: What part of "rest" does she not get?

I am sorry you are not getting the help you need. Just explain that if you do too much your going to cause more problems & end up back in for surgery again. You have to take it easy to heal well. I wish you the best.
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