Should I be doing this at 57/second thoughts

I can relate to what you are going through. I am 53 and have suffered with fibroids,extremely heavy periods with huge blood clots for several yrs.waiting for menopause to arrive and give some relief. I am now 10days post op tah, I had an ablation 3yrs ago that did not work. I was worried prior to surgery but have to say I should have done this yrs ago. The discomfort now is far less that the pain prior to surgery. You need to do this and het your life back.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Ellagal you are sounding like a whole different person to the one who started this thread. I am so glad you are finding comfort in everyones words, and more at ease with having the surgery.

When all this first started it hit me like a ton of bricks. First, not knowing what was happening to my body for almost a year. Seeing all these doctors and things just getting worse. No one listening to me. I truly thought I had a mental condition. I suffered from anxiety just after the death of my Dad. I worked through that and was so fine. So I thought maybe I have some sort of chemical imbalance. Finally had a mega dose of crappiness on April 1st and dragging myself to the Gyno. She actually listened and did several tests and then getting the dx. I denied the fact that this could happen to me. I take good care of myself and was waiting for menopause. I thought menopause was happening. That was going to be my ticket. I thought I was too old and HA that was a good excuse not to do this. I found this sight during my search of anything I could find after my dx. I was upset and feeling betrayed that no professional would listen to me. I have been feeling lousy for a year! (I know some of you put up with this wayyyy longer). So when all of you came out of the woodwork and basically told me this CAN happen to someone like me (I know I am not special) at my age no matter how good I take care of myself I then came to the realization it is just like anything else in life. Nothing is predictable. Once I figured that part out I just keep working on the fears of surgery and trying to stay as healthy as I can. I now know what must be done. I HAVE to feel better, for the sake of my husband and my 2 kids. They are the most important things to me and I am no good to them or myself always feeling this lousy and mean. Truly I am a very nice person. What happened to me? Read *Hekki's and *Jadegrrl's posts, and ALL of the others from the very beginning of this thread that will be enough to make you stronger even if it is just a little bit. I read them all of the time when I start feeling a little bad about this mess I am in. None of us are alone and that to me is comforting because I thought I was and that in itself scared the heck out of me. I am taking a huge chance with surgery, I know this, and I don't take it lightly but I cannot and do not want to look forward of a future the way I am right now. I love you guys and I am sorry for the lengthiness of this.

Please, don't think you are alone. I put up with incontinence for probably 5 years.........stupid me !!!! Had the urodynamic study done............didn 't realize things were that bad. What drew me in to see dr was one night, I felt like everything was falling out. No one at home would believe me..............I thought I needed to go to the er. Anyway, Dr didn't want to operate initially, until I had some testing done............I thought I needed surgery right away. The doctor who did testing made some recommendations, so surgery was arranged. I was never scared of the surgery itself. Have Dr **** do it............he's the best. What's upset me is not having friends see how I've been doing......I think they assume, oh, it's just a hysterectomy.....it's MAJOR SURGERY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, I like that. "A hysterectomy is a surgery that is done all the time.... Oh don't worry you will be fine." How about... "you have had your kids so this is going to be a piece of cake. You don't even need those parts. It is a very common surgery." I too have had no one to talk to. My H is good but it is a male point of view. No woman at all to talk to and give me some piece of mind. This place of sisters is a place of true comfort and I am grateful. I am sure I will not get a phone call or a visitor. I have braced myself for that.

I totally understand your frustration and fear, but you won't regret it. If you can keep your ovaries, that would be good, but that would be something to discuss with your doctor. Your symptoms are very similar to what I had. I finally couldn't deal with the pain any longer. The surgery is a big deal and you can't help how you feel about it, but you will feel so much better afterwards. I'm 2 weeks post-op and don't regret my decision at all. However, every decision is individual so you have to be comfortable with your own decision. Everyone has an opinion but you have to decide if you can continue to live like this now, or if you are willing to do whatever it takes to stop it. That's what I did, and even thought I had complications during my surgery, I don't regret it for a minute! Good luck and I will be watching for your results!

Don't apologise for a lengthy reply. It is good to get it all off your chest. Uterus no more, I had a friend tell me her mother in law had a hyster and it was no big deal. Well it is a big deal! I should have answered her but just let it go.

Ellagal- Your "expecting no visitors" comment compelled me to share: I didn't want any visitors. Thought that I would be feeling so lousy right after that I wouldn't want any. So I hardly told anyone I was having the surgery and those I did were told to stay home, to visit me (call first) and call when I'm home recovering, feeling better and bored.

I had my girlfriend take me for the surgery, she kept my brother informed (who had the duty of contacting family, a few friends and coworkers when my surgery was over). When I woke up in my room she had put a beautiful little vase of flowers on my bed table. She got me settled and I then told her to go home until it was time to pick me up. I had a terrible sore throat from the surgery and didn't feel like talking or even keeping my eyes open.

My BF came to visit me the day after surgery, totally unexpected as he was given the same directive (not to visit) by me. I will admit that it was nice to have him spend the afternoon with me as I had a horrific, unattentive nurse. He helped me with lunch, getting out of bed and walking to ease the gas pains. He was there when the doctor came to check on me and fill me in on the surgery, it was good to have someone there with clarity (I still had none).

My hospital/castle stay was only two nights, before I knew it I was waiting to be discharged! During my time in the castle I did a lot of sleeping- I can't remember watching much television and I didn't even have the energy to turn on my IPod. I communicated with friends and family via text. Texts are great- short and to the point, I will say they brightened my days. I saved telling more friends and family about my surgery until afterwards- knowing I would have plenty of time and then was feeling up to phone calls. I came home to a fully stocked house (gave me things to do presurgery) and a spotless one (had a friend clean it while I was in the castle).

So Ellagal, it might not be so bad to not have visitors, your DH might be all you need (and I think the stay is even less for a DvH). And during your recovery, sometimes people don't know what to say or do- I learned quickly to send my brother or friends out for what I was in need of (mashed potatoes, pudding, GasX, etc.). If someone asked me "what can I do" I answered with assignments, lol. Trust me, your friends & family will welcome some help from you.

Hang in there- before you know it this will all be a memory and you'll be on the road to feeling better!

I had one night for my DVH. The only visitors I had were my DH and my best friend. My friend came so my DH could grab some supper. He went home around 11:30pm, after my night nurse came she was good earlier nurse not so much. Next day when I was released a different friend stayed with me so DH could put some time in at work



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Ellagal I just wanted to let you know that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe Divine Providence and believe that through this thread this is happening. When I first read this thread, as I said in my earlier post, I thought about it for several days as the postings continued to grow. I too was dealing with my own demons in regards to my decision and whether I was making the correct choice. Then, when the muse came to inspire me to write my earlier post, I realized that by expressing my inner feelings was my way that I could comfort another--but--as it turned out-- I was actually verbalizing what was going to be the right choice for me.

What has happened here is truly amazing. Thank you Ellagal for giving of yourself...in turn you have helped so many others!