Can't count on others

I'm having my TAH on Sept. 30th. I've been slowly trying to get everything in place and prepared. All is going okay except I can't find anyone to watch my kids on the morning of and take them to school. I have to be at the hospital at 5:45(it takes an hour to get there). My own mom just gives me a blank stare when I tell her my problem. It hurts to know that my husband and I have no one to count on. It's my first surgery and now it sounds like I'll be going through it alone. My husband will have to stay hime to get the kids off to school. Thanks for letting me vent!

You may vent all you want, Quietlee.

It is hard when you feel you can't depend on family. It sounds like you can depend on your husband, though, which is great.

Is it possible your mom needs to be asked explicitly for help? Some people are like that. Do you attend a church/temple, and is there someone there who could help with your kids or be with you at the hospital? Could a classmate's parent possibly take them to school?

I hope I'm not butting in! Maybe these are all ideas you've already considered, but I mention them just in case.

However the arrangements turn out, know that there are plenty women here who wish you all the best with your surgery.

Venting is completely okay. Have you actually asked your mom to help get the kids off to school? I spent two and a half weeks mad at my husband because he wasn't helping me much at all, while he was waiting for me to tell him specifically what I needed. Ugh. What a mess that was. It seemed obvious to me that he should throw in a load of laundry or two without prompting but apparently not to him. Are you waiting for your mom to step up the same way when it comes to your kids and the day of your surgery, without coming out and telling her you need her? She might not be able to make that leap on her own.

If she really can't come through for you, maybe friends, co-workers, neighbors? First surgeries can be full of anxiety, and you deserve to have your husband there to help you through it.

Thank you guys for giving me some perspective. I never would have thought to ask the question. I will try again to have a conversation and not stress. In the end, I know I have God and my husband and kids.

Good luck with your conversation. I'll be praying for you!

If you attend church, perhaps someone might have kids the same age that could help? It is sometimes hard to ask for help, but some people actually like to be needed!

There is enough adjusting and getting ready, feeling sorta alone doesn't help.

Your sisters are here for moral support tho!

I sat down and spoke with my parents again and they pretty much said that they are just too busy and my father may have the day off to help but won't know until the night before. All of our neighbors and freinds feel it's too early to have the kids dropped off. I'm so upset because I drop everything for everyone all the time and when I really need it the most, I get no help. I'm already stressed enough and this just adds a lot more pressure. I will continue to pray for a solution. Maybe something will change since a still have a little time. Thank you all for your support. It is much appreciated 😃

Ugh. I'm sorry this is turning into such a problem and that no one is being helpful. You don't need this stress on top of worrying about surgery and your health.

I don't have children, so maybe these ideas are completely unfeasible. Just throwing some things out there that might trigger a scenario that would work. If it's too early to drop your kids off at a friend or neighbor's house in the morning, could they just stay overnight there instead? That way everyone's schedules are less disrupted. Or are there babysitters that will come over early in the morning and take care of getting the kids to school?

Ugh, I can understand your frustration! I can't imagine not helping my daughter out with my grandkids, especially during something like this!! Is there parents of your kids friends that you trust and they are comfortable with that could get them to school? You may want to have someone pick them up after school also just in case surgery/recovery takes longer. You certainly don't need the added stress of figuring this out. I pray it all works out!

Oh, I'm so sorry! I'd really hoped it was simply a matter of communication.

Like MuggleGeek, I have no children ... but her idea of a "sleepover" seems feasible. And as naturally suggested, if you attend a church...?

I have to admit, I'm sorta floored by the lack of sympathy. Hopefully, something does change. In the meantime, we're here for you. Remember, you can always vent. Still praying.