Will i still feel like a girl? (children mentioned)

I am a 24 year old mother of three. I have so many fears about my upcoming surgery. The biggest one is will i still feel like a woman afterwards? I feel like I am having the biggest part of me taken away. I want one more baby at least. I just feel so lost and alone. I am having my uterus removed due to the cholestasis that will not go away, and my ovaries because i am tired of being moody one week a month. After this surgery will I still be me. My not so DH told me the other day how some women change for the worse. I just feel like I do not have anyone to talk to about this, can anyone help me out? Does anyone else feel the same?

This site has a wonderful section on hormones you should check out.

I kept my ovaries. My doc said that a lot of my moodiness actually came from the progesterone produced in my uterus. He assures me it is better than HRT. Is there a medical reason for having your ovaries removed or just your fear of having the cyclical moodiness you have now? You are so young for surgical menopause, I just hate to see you do it prematurely.

I don't feel any less a woman than I did before. We are more than our reproductive organs. I honestly think it is rare that a woman experiences the kind of upheaval your DH is talking about. Most of us do just fine or better.

Try not to think of it as something being taken away. Try to think of it as your life being given back to you. Your womanhood doesn't lie in your body or your organs. It lies in your wisdom and your experience and your heart and that's something that no surgery can ever take away. You are so much more than just a uterus and ovaries! Your body is a shell. It is a meat-suit that allows the essential YOU to grow and experience and love and flourish as the beautiful spiritual female that you are and always will be.

One of my favorite quotes of all times comes from an episode of Roseanne. She says "We aren't bodies with souls; we're souls with bodies".

You will still be you but you will be free of the discomfort and dysfunction that is plaguing your earthly body. You may find that you are free to change and grow and love and nurture in ways you never thought possible.

The divine feminine reflected in Eve and Mary and the Goddesses resides within each of us no matter what may be changed or removed from our bodies.

I still feel like me, still feel like a woman, and my DNA never changed so I am still a female! I was not attached to my uterus in that I felt it was simply an organ in my body and did not dictate who I was any more than my liver or lungs.

However, I kept my ovaries so I have not had to deal with the hormonal issues that do cause some women to feel major changes about who they are. Women who deal with the complexity of trying to find the right HRT can have stronger emotional issues following this surgery. Also, women who feel more of a personal connection to their uterus can have stronger emotional issues.

Because you wish to have another baby and you and your DH may not be on the same page, have you considered talking to a counselor before having surgery? Have you considered other options for your diagnosis? Did you seek a second opinion from a gynecological surgeon regarding some alternatives?

A hysterectomy is a major surgery that can definitely affect us in many ways both physically and emotionally. There are women who do deal with feeling like they are no longer a woman once it is over, especially if they also have their ovaries removed and can't find the right hormonal balance to help them feel well.

I encourage you to take some time to make sure you are making the right choice for you before heading into OR. If you have any doubts and are not in a life or death situation, consider taking some more time to work through your fears and feelings before surgery. Neither a hysterectomy or oophorectomy can be undone so you want to be 110% sure it is the right and best choice for you!

Sending extra gentle s your way!

Hugs & prayers for you.

I had my hyst 6 weeks ago. No more uterus or ovaries. It hasn't changed who I am. Just got rid of something that's been slowing me down for a while. I didn't even realize how much, until after the surgery. I haven't been able to try the sex yet, but when I am healed in another week, I think it will be worth the wait.

I had my ovaries removed too. One year later, I feel so much better!! A few hot flashes a day, but no more painful periods, and no more bloating and irritability every month. While everyone is different, I feel more like a woman now than when I was so physically miserable before the surgery.

I had the same worries as you before my surgery. My DH braced himself for the worst. I was certain I was going to wake up less "girly", like I wouldn't care about the things I care about now. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me in the months leading up to my surgery I think I stopped caring about a lot of stuff, how I looked, my weight, my hair, clothes, sex... I think I was depressed from the pain and annoyance of my health, nothing seemed to matter, I was grouchy, tired, moody and had no motivation for anything. Well I'm 6 weeks post op today and from the moment I came out of surgery and was coherent, I have felt better than ever! In fact, I think I haven't felt this good in at least 10 years. I feel MORE feminine then before. Definitely not what I expected, but I am so happy with the outcome. My marriage seems improved, I thought it was great before, but it seems renewed in a way, I guess because I'm free now, I don't have pain consuming my life.

Those parts are not make you the woman that you are. I feel great because I can do more than I could before the surgery & no more bleeding. You can be the same person you were. I think you will be even better because you will emotionally go through some things that will make you even stronger. Best wishes to you.

Please do thorough research about your hormonal system before you decide to give up your ovaries. If they are healthy, there is no reason to have them out. They still dispense natural hormones. Being moody means hormonal imbalance. A couple of good books are "Natural Hormone Balance" by Dr. Uzzi Reiss and "Before the Change" by Ann Louise Gittleman. If you read at least those two books, you'll have some good information to help you decide.

I am 30 & can relate. I had been trying to conceive for the past two yrs. I just found out I have uterine cancer & will have hysterectomy done next Wednesday. Oncologist wants to take my ovaries. All happened so fast I'm still trying to take it all in! Not being able to have another baby, cancer & jump starting menopause, Yikes! I think we will still feel like women. Best of luck & prayers!