6 days till surgery and I'm getting scared

I cry at the drop of a hat.

I can't concentrate on work.

I'm obsessed with the idea that something bad will happen.

I feel like "nesting".....cleaning my whole house from top to bottom, but of course am in too much pain to do very much housework.

I'm feeling nervous about the surgery and the recovery. I wish it was the 15th already so I could be done!

Freakin' out today,
Steph

Steph,
What you are feeling is so normal. I was the same way. I'm sure more sisters will be telling you the same thing. Wait was by far the worst part for me I am now at my 2 week point and feeling so much better than I have in a few years. The hardest thing was the taking it easy because i felt so good. But you have to rest rest rest after. And remember we are all here for you. good luck.

Heather

Steph,

Heather's got it right on - I'm six months out and was the same way when I scheduled my surgery and was just waiting for it to happen. I could not concentrate on anything - I has just started a new job and was trying to learn everything, but I told my boss that I would need to relearn it all after my surgery because my head wasn't there - she told me not to worry - she was great and totally understood.

Now at six months I am feeling good, and the job is going well, and I didn't really need to start from the beginning again after coming back from the surgery.

Hang in there - try to do things that make you happy if you can - I know there is stuff to do you don't want to, but try to do one thing each day that will make you smile!

Many HUGS!!!
Cat

hi steph -

I feel just the same - every time i look at the kids i want to cry, i think "what if i never see them again" The i feel really guilty - it's only a bit of pain, not much to put up with to stay alive for your kids - then i feel double guilty, because my mum died when an undiagnosed fibroid caused a blockage and peritonitis - this operation would have saved her life - how can i be so ungrateful?

I actually think anybody who was looking forward to this procedure, would be the bonkers ones - and we're perfectly sane!

Steph, your date is the same as mine and , yes, I feel the same, very nervous . I've been fussing round the house like a manic thing this last week. The nurse form my GP's gave me some breathing exercises, she said I looked stressed. ME? Stressed?
I had my preop this morning and when I arrived five minutes late because of parking there was no one at the reception desk betwen the two womens wards. My partner was saying. 'well are we supposed to just go straight onto the ward' etc and I got so panicked about not knowing what to do I promptly burst into tears. I felt such an idiot but after a night of not sleeping and fretting about today it just all boiled over. The sister appeared and sat us down in the day room with the tv, but they were so busy we didnt get seen for another 45mins. Needless to say my blood pressure was up so that meant I had to go for an ECG as well. The staff were lovely and everything went well, of course.Why do we get ourselves into such a state when on the whole it works out fine?

Why? Because we are normal human beings! So dont feel bad about feeling this way.

And I've warned my partner I will probably be hopeless, snappy and emotional, all weekend. But I think he seemed worse after sitting in on my appointment this morning. All those possible side effects and complications that I already had read about and worked through on here he was hearing for the first time and it was me who had to reassure him when we got out!!

Like all things the fear of it is almost always worse than the actual event. Once I am in hospital waiting to go down I'll probably be better. But I doubt I will sleep the night before.


But I'm sure we'll be fine. Good luck and I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday.
cath

I'm going into surgery the same day as you Steph, and can totally relate to how you feel. I am a mess at work and home and counting down the days. I've been waiting a month now, and am ready to get this behind me.

Good luck and I hope you have an easy recovery. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you.

Thanks, ladies. Your kind words are so reassuring.

I'm crying again.....this time because I'm so happy to have found you!!!

I love the Hystersisters website.

I'll be praying for all of you with upcoming surgeries, and especially thinking of you 3-15's as I go in for mine on that day.

hugs,
Steph

I can fully understand how you are feeling. Although I haven't cried yet, I am terribly stressed, depressed, anxious, scared and worried. I wish I had a hubby or nice partner to lean on and help, but I don't. I have a 16 y/o dauhter and I feel so bad about how things will be on her. Oh, did I mention that I am cranky and angry too? And having bad dreams? Grrrrr. I have suffered with PMDD all my life and my daughter has it too. Since I am perimenopausal and have all those ups and and downs with periods not being stable, (haven't had period since December), it just makes everything else feel much more magnified and intense for me. I am also trying to quit smoking in the past 2 days and that has me about to scream too. Wonder if I am trying to take on too much right now. Wonder if I should save the quit smoking thing for when I enter the hospital. Can;t smoke there. If I don't have any waiting at home for me, daughter is too young to go buy them and I will probably be in bed resting most of the time. Maybe I should try that and eliminate one more stress on myself for right now. Sighhhhhh. Hope you guys don't mind that I am thinking out loud. In a way it seems to help that I am typing this out vs. just sitting here and thinking it. Its like its coming out of the end of my fingertips with the typing and maybe will help me release some of it. Then there is the added bonus that some very nice ladies here might just relate to what I have to say. I am so glad to have found this site. My neighbors and friends and daughter really don't understand me right now. They think I am a neurotic nut....... oh well. Maybe I am for now. My doc keeps telling me this is no big deal and I should be fine in 2 wks. I sure wish he was a woman. I did hear that my neurosurgeon had to have a diskectomy like the 3 that he did on me and I hear that my urologist also had to pass 2 kidney stones, after he did a lithotripsy on me! LOL They all had told me these operations would be a piece of cake. HA! You know the saying "my toothache don't hurt in your mouth"........hehehe. Yes, I am a neurotic nut. LOL

Lyn

scheduled for TAH with rectocele repair vaginally, Burch retropubic suspension for cystocele 3/29

Steph,
You aren't alone!! Mine is the 16th and I've been a basketcase all week. Just take it one day at a time, one moment at a time if you have to. You will get through this. And before you know it, we will both be princesses and wonder what the heck we were getting all worried about!!
Girl! You should have seen me yesterday! You would have thought my Mom, Gramps, the Queen of England and my dog all died on the same day!! I was a blithering idiot! Literally! You are not alone! Honest!
Now take a deep breath, give yourself a hug, dry your tears and you will be just fine!!
If not, you know where to find me and we can be blithering idiots together!!
Bear Hugs!
Jen

Hey to all the soon to be princesses. My surgery is scheduled for 3/17/05. I don't really feel too teribbly nervous. I guess because I have been putting it off for over a year and really just want to get past it. I feel like I have learned so much through this site and feel like I have so much more information. I know I will have lots of prayers and will get through it. The Lord is my rock and I know he will be with me.

I hope you can find a peace and comfort before you have to go in. I know my tummy will be nervous as the day draws nearer. I just want to get it over with at this point and am hoping that I won't be in pain anymore.

Hugs,

Diane