Hysterectomy Looming and Freaking Out

I'm supposed to have a myomectomy, but with the size of my uterus (up to my ribcage), the doctor can't promise he can avoid a hysterectomy. I started what could be my last period two days ago. It's another loss because I became a widow 22 months ago after a year and a half of marriage. Quite frankly, if I were to cross over, I'd welcome it.

I'm sorry, but I just feel like, "what's the point?"

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Hi and welcome You will find answers to many questions and support. You will also discover that much of what your feeling is also being experienced by another sister.
I am so sorry about your loss. Eighteen months is way to short of a time to spend with the one you love. Do you have friends, family or clergy you can discuss your feelings with? Although many who have not gone through the process of hysterectomy have no idea with the emotional roller coaster we are dealing with. Your impending sense of loss is very valid and needs to be worked through. Does your surgeon know how you feel? If you do not have someone you feel you can share your feelings with maybe counseling will be helpful for you. I'm concerned and worried for you, it sounds like you are becoming depressed - with good cause I might add. The physical complaints from large fibroids alone can drag down the best of us.
Please continue to share how you feel. I wish you the best of luck next week for a quick, easy and successful procedure.

I agree with hope09. Try and find someone you can talk to about your feelings. In fact, I felt that way after my Dad died when I was just 18! It's normal to feel the way you're feeling after a loss, but being depressed w/medical issues can make it much worse. After my Dad died, my mom never dealt with her issues and is still depressed after 24 yrs. Even if you don't feel like talking or getting help, it's important that you do. Your hormones could be messed up as well, which could also contribute to depression. Good luck with your surgery and please take care of yourself.

Hugs

	Quote:
Originally Posted by camerachick I'm supposed to have a myomectomy, but with the size of my uterus (up to my ribcage), the doctor can't promise he can avoid a hysterectomy. I started what could be my last period two days ago. It's another loss because I became a widow 22 months ago after a year and a half of marriage. Quite frankly, if I were to cross over, I'd welcome it. I'm sorry, but I just feel like, "what's the point?" Anyway, thanks for listening.

Oh, camerachick... I can only imagine your pain. But please, please remember: God never closes a door without opening a window. There **is** a point to going on living, even if we don't always see it -- and I'm sure there is something very special planned for you in the future.

Meanwhile, keep posting! We're here to hold your hand. And remember you're loved!

Hey Camerachick how are you doing today? Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. Give us a shout when you have a chance OK?

We are here to listen, when you want to talk some more.

Colleen

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauriemc I agree with hope09. Try and find someone you can talk to about your feelings. In fact, I felt that way after my Dad died when I was just 18! It's normal to feel the way you're feeling after a loss, but being depressed w/medical issues can make it much worse. After my Dad died, my mom never dealt with her issues and is still depressed after 24 yrs. Even if you don't feel like talking or getting help, it's important that you do. Your hormones could be messed up as well, which could also contribute to depression. Good luck with your surgery and please take care of yourself. Hugs

Loosing a husband is not like loosing a parent; I know because I've now had both happen to me, and loosing my husband is FAR WORSE. Your mother is still grieving the loss of her soulmate; that kind of loss isn't something you "just get over" and goes far beyond depression. People who've never been through it will never understand that it's not just like a bad break-up or loosing a pet or a relative, no matter how close you are to them. Your mother deals with her issues (loosing your father) every day, and has been for the past 24 years because she doesn't have any other choice. I don't mean to rant, but comments like this are why widows and widowers withdraw from other people. I hear it from the other long term members in my widows support group.

Sorry; even though this site was reccomended to me by another widow, I'm thinking this isn't the place where I need to be. Thanks anyway, and good luck.

Sorry if you took my message the wrong way. My point was that losing a loved one (even though it was just my Dad) caused me to be very depressed and withdrawn. Not just because of that, but due to watching how badly it affected my mother. I mentioned my mother specifically, because she never got over it or had help dealing with losing her husband. She doesn't want to be here either, so I do understand to a point where you're coming from - at least from a different perspective.

I by no means meant to say that losing my Dad was even remotely the same as losing your husband. I was comparing your situation to my mother's. I guess I just didn't word it correctly.

Again, sorry if you took it the wrong way.

Camerachick- I think you are still grieving and it has made you a little defensive. I thought that Laurie's response was supportive of you and the situation you are in.

EVERYONE grieves in their own way and not one single person who has lost a loved one will be on the same healing schedule, nor is the way that the loss affects a person ever even remotely the same. Pain is pain, and people also deal with it in many ways, and some just don't deal with it.

I am sorry you are having to deal with the loss of your loved one and now major surgery on top of that.

Please stay on, there is wonderful information to be gained from the users of this site and I am sure you will find some wonderful support here.