Anyone Else?

Is anyone else out there that is waiting for their surgery date completely changing their mind about it and then back?

I know I need the surgery for my endo, the sooner the better but I'm such a procrastinator that one minute I'm completely confident to go ahead and then later I'm like, well I could wait a year or two.

I know that nothing else has worked to treat the endo and this is whats best for me but my mind keeps chaning my mind about the surgery even though I'm only gonna get worse as time goes on because not even Lupron worked for me,

Take care,

Abbie, I was wondering that too. I was just screaming at my DH the other day, saying I just do not have time for the recovery. I don't want to do this. But like you I NEED to do this I have put it off for TOO long as it is. I am not functioning like any kind of human, but I hate being still. I cry and scream and say I can't and I won't but I know I must.

Carrie

I have been wanting to reschedule my own date.

Some days I feel so confident and others I just want to run.
I'm not sure I will be able to get everything done before I have my surgery and then I don't want to lay around and recover either.
I cried to my DH today because I feel so overwhelmed.
So much to do and I get so scare when I think about it and when I am alone.
I try to think positive and remember all of those that tell me they haven't regreted it and have so much more energy!
I certainly could use some energy right now.
I'm glad to hear I'm not alone with my feelings!
Good Luck!

a friend of mine often tells me that when i fear the most, when i procrastinate, to really look at what the obstacle is (not just the physical but the emotional ,too), and "head into the resistance". i have tried to heed this advice and when i have, i have discovered two main things: the obstacle was way bigger and badder in my mind, and there is something so absolutely freeing about being beyond and through what i was resisiting in the first place. its like the first lungful of air when you've been under water too long.

my impending surgery is 12 days away, i am not ready, nor will i be. i'll keep trying to get everything done on my growing list until i have to leave for seattle. what doesn't get accomplished will just have to wait.

i'll keep bursting into tears, i'll keep doubting myself and second guessing the pathologists, etc but i do believe that when i am on the otherside of this resistance (surgery), i will have learned something about myself, maybe i'll learn that it's okay to relax, maybe i will learn something about those around me. maybe i won't learn anything but i hope i'll be greatful that the big obstacle has been conquered and i'll be able to breath again.

good luck to all.

My DH has often told me similiar things when I want to postpone my surgery. Or I start to have serious doubts.
He tells me to look at the goal and to focus on how much better I will feel afterwards.
Ather than the negative.
He also tells me to look at prior difficulties and accomplishments I have had in my life and to consider this another one and to gain strength from the past.
I do think it will be a learning experience and I'm hoping with what I do learn I can pass it on to others.
I try to think this way and take a deep breath and look at the surgery as a positive event rather than a negative one. It is difficult to do when panic sets in.
I do try.
The best of luck to you!

I had my husterectomy 5 weeks ago and I was just like you.

I only had 1 weeks notice, so not much time to dwell, but I was so scared.

I was feeling so well and was just so terrified of what I was about to go through. Especially knowing how long the recuperating process was going to be.

But it wasn't that bad. The pain relief they give you is amazing. I can honestly say I had no real pain. It is all over in a blink. I can't believe 5 weeks have gone by so quickly.

The first week home was probably my worst because I was so hormonal and emotional. It was like I had just given birth and also because I suffer with Crohns Disease and had a full on attack in my first 2 weeks home. But had I not had that - it would have been a breeze.

My op was through my tummy and I was so scared of being cut open. But it really is ok. It's not that bad.

Sometimes we have to go through some wrotten things to get to the better. Just keep focussed on how this will affect your health long term. It will make a huge diferrence!

Chin up and march forward girl !!!

Thanks ladies for all your support and letting me know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

You are all right, and this waiting is probably the worst part of it all.

I just have to keep remembering like my DH and mom keep telling me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even my doctor says at this point I am just torturing myself with my current Lupron treatment.

I'll just have to keep remembering all this wonderful insight and remember that I will feel so much better and healthier once this is over with and start to live a normal life with all the endo mess gone.

Thanks again for all your support, you ladies are wonderful.

Take care of yourselves.

Good Morning Ladies...
I have to say you are all very normal for feeling the way you all feel. I have to say I waited like 3 years putting off the decision to have a TAH-BSO 3/31/04. I scheduled my surgery in December and had to wait til 3/31 due to my job (I had to wait for my 1 year anniv due to insurance etc). As the time came closer I was also second guessing myself and asking myself if I can put this off. I worked with a close relative doing mediation and visualization and that really helped me learn to relax and put my mind at ease. I am such a big baby, petrified of needles and pain but I must say I went thru a c-section with my son 22 years ago and was worried the pain would be much worse. I have to say the surgery and pain was a total breeze. I can rate my pain a 2 on a scale of 1-10 and the gas pains were my only real pain (and that wasent that bad) Ladies, don't think of putting off your surgery and trying to deal with what you have been dealing with...hold your heads high....and if I can get thru it (which I did) you will too!!! I am the worlds biggest baby!!! You will all do fine and think positivie thoughts and take one step at a time!! I send positive thoughts your way to all the LIW....

Ann
TAH/BSO 3/31/04 and very glad the 35 fibroids are OUT!!!!!

Everytime I start to wonder if I'm doing the right thing I start bleeding again. That's like my little reminder that I'm doing the right thing.

Yes, I am waiting, too. But you know, I am trying to approach this with a smile. My DH is a real support, mainly because he is so detached to all of this. I worry more when those around me worry. He is not a worrier, and has taught me the supreme lesson that "worrying isn't worth squat!" It doesn't solve any problems, it doesn't answer any questions, and it only makes you miserable! Feels good to let things go. Leave the questions to the experts--they will answer, or you will ask someone else.

Approach this as a life-changing experience, but for the better. You are entering a new phase, a new chapter.

For me, this will be freedom. I will be able to committ myself to other pursuits that were before impossible because I had to plan around being in the bed for a week every month!

I can go back to school! I can start a real exercise regimen and stick with it! I'll have more energy to play with my kids!

This will be a blessing. I will be okay, and so will you. God bless you and all of us Ladies in Waiting.