Would U Tell A Friend To Do It?...Have Surgery, Based On Your Experience.

MEplus

I have a friend who is considering having a hysterectomy. After my 4 wks, she asked me a tone of questions, the main one: Should she have a hyst?

At that time, I was up & down/pro & con. I didn't want to encourage anthing so final, but I didn't want to scare her either?

I know everyone has different experiences, but I couldn't seem to seperate my own personal experiences and give her an unbias opinion.

Would any of you tell a friend to do it (have surgery) based on your own personal experiences? (esp. knowing what you know now).

Just wondering how our experiences can influence our opinions about this life changing surgery.
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MEplus; TAH due to enlarged uterus, fibroids and ovarian cysts

Hi Meplus

I would tell my friend that first and foremost the decision is hers and only she can make it. I also would explain that each and everybodies experiences are different and it would be difficult for her to make such a huge decision from what I tell her. I would also tell her about this fantastic website and to do some research on it before making her mind up.

take care
Carol

Great response Carol.

I would not want my experience to discourage a friend, but I would not encourage them either. The decision is totally theirs and I would be willing to support them no matter what. If they asked whether I regret my decision, the answer would be "not for a single second", but that is me based on my symptoms and we are all different in both our symptoms and our healing.

I wish you and your friend good luck, no matter what the outcomes.

I would never tell anyone "HAVE THIS SURGERY". Not because I had a terrible experience, but because there are so many variables, and there are so many things that "could" go wrong. Tons and tons of women come out of surgery just fine and never have any problems, but you never know and there aren't guarantees.

I would advise my friend to see 2-3 doctors and to exercise ALL her options before going for a hyst. I would counsel her to develop awareness about the emotional aspecst of surgery and to consider them as carefully as possible.

Any woman going into surgery has to know that she has done her research, that she has tried all her options, that several doctors agree she needs it, and that she is as emotionally prepared as possible for having it. Otherwise if there are any post.op problems she is going to feel awful and have terrible regrets for a very long time.

I totally agree with the other princesses. Definitely tell her to visit this website!!
I wish I had found it before my surgery, it wouldn't have changed my decision on getting a hysterectomy. It would have been highly educational of what I could expect, and just for general support by princesses whom already had the surgery.

If there is other options for her, she really needs to explore those options and even get a second or third opinion. She could do research on the internet and check out books in the library. The surgery is major, and I think too many doctors push women to have it when there are other options out there.

I would definitely tell her to do lots of research. My SIL had an abnormal pap some years ago. Her gyn advised her-"Why don't you just have a hysterectomy and then you will never have to worry about your ovaries or your cervix or uterine cancer again?" Well, she didn't have any kind of cancer, none in the family, so she did some research and decided not to have such major surgery because of one questionable pap smear.
So there are many reasons for the recommendation, and each person has to explore what is best for them.

I agree that I would tell my friend to do lots of research, starting with this Web site. I would, however, tell her that I would do it again in a heartbeat but not to make her decision based on my postive experience. I'd tell her that just because I'm feeling great and didn't have any major complications, everyone's experiece is different.

I would tell them yes, I am really glad I had my surgery and would do it again in a flash. Even with all the things you go through in recovery, it was totally worth it. Of course, all my friends know what problems I was having. I would never tell them it was easy and I also know they would never base their entire decision upon my saying for them to do it. I would tell them to ask tons of questions, visit this site, as I wish I had known more of what to expect afterwords and basically was not told much of anything when I left the hospital. Most of my friends have problems too. I don't know if it's the time we grew up or what, but I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have something wrong with either their ovaries or uterus.

It's such an individual thing. What else has she tried in order to avoid major surgery? I had laps, drugs, scheduled an ablasion, had a D&C, biopsies... I feel I made the right choice, having several issues to deal with. I talked to several women about it who had had the surgery.They put my mind at ease, but didn't influence my decision.
Have her research, and think about things like- How far is she from natural menapause? Who will care for you after surgery? Can you miss work?
I'm sure since you posted on her behalf, that you are a good friend and you will help her know everything that is involved start to finish!
L

Yes! I would tell her it is not as bad as expected and if she is having problems that wont get better on their own, she should not fear this surgery. BUT, I would also remind her that it is one big ole surgery and any surgery carries risks. There is pain involved but the pain is managable and healing is just around the corner. She should also investigate all her options and make sure she has a dr. she trusts.