Guilt, shame, anger, and sadness...

(((lucylily))) Why do you owe those folks an explanation at all? This is what I would say if I were you -- something like, "You know, I get really uncomfortable talking about this sort of thing. I thank you for your concern, but I'd really rather not go into the details with anyone but my medical team. How about this weather we're having?" If they persist, say this, "As I said before, I really am uncomfortable talking about this with anyone other than my doctor. How about this weather we're having?" About the fourth or fifth time around, they'll get the message.

In other words.... this is your business. You don't have to be rude about it, but quite honestly, it is rude of those folks to ask you why you're having surgery. And yes, I include siblings, co-workers, and whoever else thinks they have a right to know. No matter what they imply, they do not need to know unless you want to share it with them.

to you.

Lucylily,
Sorry you are having a hard time. As far as people judging you.....I don't think they will. Unless people know all of the details of your life they have no reason to assume anything. Just being on this site, I have learned about far many more reasons for getting a hysterectomy than I could ever had imagined. Like the above sister said, it is none of their business and it is up to you who to tell. I would simply say "female issues". The men will definately walk away without asking another question and most women will assume it has to do with period problems in general.
This is a rollercoaster ride without a doubt. Just know that you can come here for help and you will not be judged. We will be here to listen, give advice, to encourage and to "hold your hand".

First of all, just because you have HPV doesn't mean you slept around. What if you had only one partner in your lifetime and contracted it like that. Anyway, you don't have to go into detail about exactly why, just tell people you are having "female problems" or say fibroids or whatever. If you don't feel comfortable sharing then don't. I can understand how you feel, because I felt the same way. In fact I'm an active church going christian and have shared with some of my fellow christian sisters that I was having bad paps and had HPV and you know what, I'm not the only one. Some of my friends also shared with me they have HPV too and I don't think any less of them. There are lots of people who have it. I think my doctor told me about 80% of the population has some form of HPV or another. When asked about your surgery, only share what you feel comfortable with.

Thank you guys again for the encouraging words. You all are very right, I don't know why I think I have to tell everybody everything about my surgery, it is none of their business. I'm assuming this will all get easier as I go through all the emotions. My surgery isn't until July so I'm trying to keep busy, but it's all I think about lately.

Thanks again for all your kind words!! This site is so very helpful!

I feel your pain! I was diagnosed in March with adenocarcinoma in situ and will have a hysterectomy on May 24th. When people ask why I am going to be off work, I tell them I'm having a hysterectomy but I don't offer to tell them why. One thing I have noticed is that every woman who asks about my surgery, when I say that I'm having a hysterectomy, every single one of them has said that they had it done and it was the best thing to ever happen to them. But then most of them seem to have had problems with fibroids, or bleeding. I didn't have any problems and was completely oblivious to the fact that I had this. I went for pap smears every year and until this year I was fine. I'm just thankful that there is treatment for this before it gets invasive! I am going to focus on this whole event in my life as a great big HEALING and try not to think about life choices that led to this. I probably haven't been much help. I hope your surgery goes well and try not to focus on those bad feelings. You need to stay positive so you can heal and face the future - a future without any more colpos or cone biopsies!

There are many reasons for having a hysterectomy. I don't feel you need to share anything that you do not feel comfortable sharing. Stop feeling guilty for your past choices and rejoice in the fact that you recognize your mistakes and move forward and start living your life today. Best wishes to you!

Just tell people what you want to let them know...you don''t "owe" anyone an explanation. There are many reasons for having a hysterectomy.
I caught HPV from the man who was to become my husband. Who knew? Should he feel guity? I don't blame him. Guilt doesn't get you anywhere. Everyone makes choices - good and bad - during their lives. We can't live with regret.
Thank goodness medical advances in vaccinations will help our daughters and grand daughters not to have to live with this.

Hello... I hope you are feeling better. I just wanted to thank you for your post. I have gone through the same thing. Have been feeling guilty and ashamed of my past as well. I felt ashamed to even talk about that on here. Since reading your story and hearing all the comments, I feel a bit better. I hope everything goes well for you. Sending you big (((hugs)))!!!

Thank you, it's good to know that we're not alone in sharing these same feelings. Hugs to you as well!