Anger issues / Temper flares

As this unwanted surgery gets nearer for me, I'm finding my patience with stupidity, incompetence and downright foolishness is almost nonexistent. I think my anger at needing surgery is spilling over into everyday life.

The other day, I nearly took the girls head off at the ****** store because she wouldn't change the account because I didn't open it. I knew all the information, even my husbands social and DL #.. and she still wouldn't change it w/o talking to him. I threatened to walk out of the store and take our business elsewhere. I really would have if it had just been me...but the kids wanted to stay with alltel.

Then today, I went to our local hospital to get my EKG done...and they had thrown out the preregistration I had gone through 2 weeks before.. because I wasn't getting my blood work done there. HUH!!! What in the world does an EKG have to do with bloodwork??

So I had to sign papers all over again. I was furious. I told them it was ridiculous that I had wasted my time and theirs two weeks ago and someone made the decision.. WITHOUT ASKING ME.. to throw my papers out.

Also last night my sister emailed me and told me I needed to change my attitude about surgery.. that she got through this and so would I. I wrote her back and told her that telling me to change my attitude wasn't helpful and that I'm not a lightbulb to be so easily changed.

Grrrrrr..

I guess it's a good thing I don't work outside the home at the moment.. I can't imagine how I would be with customers or clients right now.

It's stress and normal. I was the same way. I don't deal well with incompetence without the stress of surgery. It's hard being a perfectionist! Do something nice for yourself

Lisa
I definitely understand what you mean about anger issues before surgery. I was experiencing much of the same that you are describing. I work in a hospital as a nurse, and I know that there is a lot of "stupidity, incompetence and downright foolishness" that is practiced at our hospital. I blew up at people before surgery and while I was at the hospital. It was so much better once I was home and recovering again because then I was in control of things again. I didn't have a good attitude at all about my surgery, but I was very motivated to get up and get moving quickly afterwards so I could get out of the hospital as soon as possible. 4 1/2 months post surgery I am doing fine, glad to be done with the surgery, and glad that I got it done because my cancer was very early stage and I don't need any further treatment.

Good luck to you! One thing that helped me before the surgery was that I asked my dr for a prescription of xanax that I could take when I needed it. I have felt absolutely no need for the xanax since I came home from the hospital 4 1/2 months ago after surgery, but it was sure a help beforehand when I was getting ready for things.

I have a script for xanax that my original gyn very reluctantly wrote for me. I've been very frugal with them because I knew I wouldn't get anymore when they were gone. I'll have to go count and see if I have 10 or more left.. if I do.. there's part of the answer.

I think another part of the problem is that people expect me to be positive and cheerful about the surgery. I don't think positive and cheerful are the same thing at all. I'm positive that the surgery is what is needed..and that it will probably cure my cancer.

However, I don't think I have to be cheerful about it.. and people don't know how to deal with unhappy patients. Or it makes them uncomfortable.

I need another freezer to defrost (when diagnosed.. I defrosted my upright for 7.5 hours.. chopped at ice and cried.).

Dear M, I'm with you and the anger issues. I spent one day bawling my eyes out because I was so mad that I had cancer, scare and just did NOT!!! want to go through surgery that even though I got myself under control in time for a meeting later in the evening, there was a woman who saw that I had been crying and she called the next day to tell me that I should act like nothing was wrong because in 6 months it would be like nothing happened. She went on and on and I was so stunned and she made me feel so stupid that I started thinking she was right and that I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I ended up calling other people at the meeting to apologize for being obnoxious and EVERY ONE OF THEM said there was nothing wrong with me and that I hadn't been obnoxious at the meeting that in fact, I was so quiet they were concerned. So I called the nasty woman and said that she hurt my feelings and nobody was upset and she said she would never apologize for telling me the facts of life and that she had done nothing outside her personality. It was very strange.

I guess my point is that you are undergoing a lot of stress and it's okay to be a mad right now because there are healthy ways to deal with anger. The one that worked the absolute best for me was to take a pitchfork and beat a bunch of dirt clods into oblivion with it. Every time I whacked a clod I said what I was angry about, like the doctor who hurt me, the cancer inside me, the long recovery, the pain, etc. Needless to say I have some really smooth flower beds now.

I wish you the best and hope that you are able to find peace.

pre-op stress is normal. if you feel like its really interfering with your life, you could ask your dr for a prescription for xanax, or something similar. it will make a huge difference in your stress level. good luck!!

I feel for ya sister, a couple days before my surgery I packed an overnight bag and threatened to leave - don't ask me why!! My husband convinced me to stay, not even really sure why I was upset (and to be honest, I don't remember either - the days before were a blur and my hormones and anxiety were driving everyone crazy.) Afterward, everything calmed down and 4 weeks post op, I'm back to normal, actually even feeling better than I did (I thought I would miss my uterus and ovaries, but the whole area just feels BETTER....)

I had a prescription for Ativan, which helped A LOT!! I think your doctor may prefer Ativan over Xanax - Xanax is one of those medications we try to wean people off of where I work.) Just breathe.....everything will be fine....

teresa
(41 years old, TAH, BSO)

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Melissannde As this unwanted surgery gets nearer for me, I'm finding my patience with stupidity, incompetence and downright foolishness is almost nonexistent. I think my anger at needing surgery is spilling over into everyday life. The other day, I nearly took the girls head off at the ****** store because she wouldn't change the account because I didn't open it. I knew all the information, even my husbands social and DL #.. and she still wouldn't change it w/o talking to him. I threatened to walk out of the store and take our business elsewhere. I really would have if it had just been me...but the kids wanted to stay with alltel. Then today, I went to our local hospital to get my EKG done...and they had thrown out the preregistration I had gone through 2 weeks before.. because I wasn't getting my blood work done there. HUH!!! What in the world does an EKG have to do with bloodwork?? So I had to sign papers all over again. I was furious. I told them it was ridiculous that I had wasted my time and theirs two weeks ago and someone made the decision.. WITHOUT ASKING ME.. to throw my papers out. Also last night my sister emailed me and told me I needed to change my attitude about surgery.. that she got through this and so would I. I wrote her back and told her that telling me to change my attitude wasn't helpful and that I'm not a lightbulb to be so easily changed. Grrrrrr.. I guess it's a good thing I don't work outside the home at the moment.. I can't imagine how I would be with customers or clients right now.

I know how angry I felt when my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. I can only imagine what it would be like for me to have that diagnosis. It's OK to be angry - it is VERY normal!! I will for you!! You are not alone in this!!

Melissannde - As this unwanted surgery gets nearer for me, I'm finding my patience with stupidity, incompetence and downright foolishness is almost nonexistent. I think my anger at needing surgery is spilling over into everyday life.

I find my temper stretched short as well, downright vicious, and though I have always had a short temper, it is not known for being vicious...

Also last night my sister emailed me and told me I needed to change my attitude about surgery.. that she got through this and so would I. I wrote her back and told her that telling me to change my attitude wasn't helpful and that I'm not a lightbulb to be so easily changed.

Yikes, how unhelpful of your sister, though I am sure she was just trying to help...
Sorry about all that, though. I am finding myself with a lack of patience. I have destroyed things, yelled at people, and otherwise been a ***** of late... so I guess it comes with the territory...

Oh my gosh - I was going to post and ask about this very issue. I started out being devistated. Now it seems that I have come to terms with the upcoming surgery, but I have a VERY short temper (to say the very least). It's a combination of thoughts not being filtered before they come out of my mouth (they usually filter well) and just not giving a darn what I say and to who.
I had a fit in the store yesterday looking for garbage bags. And I mean I saw RED!!!
Today it was the yahoo at the drug store who didn't return my debit card with the medication. I was on the phone with my friend and the time, and she told me I better NEVER go back to THAT pharmacy again! lol
Those are just a couple examples of my anger issues/temper flares the last couple days. I go from zero to twenty in a split second!
I guess it's normal though. This is a very stressful time for a woman approaching the hyst! It's like I told my friend the other day ... words cannot even begin to describe the spectrum of emotions that come along with this. So what if a little anger creeps in - I think we are entitled! : ) Hang in there!!!

Salam (peace)