back home and feeling blue

First time for me to write on this site, although I have been reading for a while now.
I had a LAVH on Sunday morning, half way around the world from my family. I have been seeing my doctor for about 8 years now and he has seen me through 2 other surgeries both directly and indirectly related to Sunday's op. This was my 10th operation in 20 years, all but one of which have been gynacological. I thought I would be used to all of this by now! Despite being on the otherside of the earth in a non-English speaking country the care I have received has been excellent. The doctors have closely followed a past history of deep vein thrombosis and I have also been under the care of a hemotologist who has been giving me heprin (this added a few complications and meant I came round from the operation with a drain in my abdomen which I had to keep in for 2 days. The operation went well, the doctor was able to confirm the adenomyosis, and I guess my years of continual bleeding are over. I should feel releaved but I can't stop feeling teary and this morning actually told my husband that I regretted having it done. I dreamt last night that I was pregnant prior to the operation but didn't know. I feel old at 42 and have lost my sense of purpose (I know that my uterus shouldn't define me as a woman, but there is no logic to my emotions). My wonderful mother has offered to fly out to be with me, but I don't really want to be with anyone. I am planning to go back to work in 2 weeks and I am hoping that the post-op blues will be over soon.
I just need to get this off my chest to people whom I know have been where I am right now. Thanks for listening.

First and foremost, take care of yourself. Don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. This is a difficult surgery, and it sounds like you've been through a lot in the past also with 10 surgeries!

You're only a few days post-op, and there are lots of things that could be affecting your emotions -- hormonal changes, meds, even just being very tired.

Just know that we're here anytime you need to vent or just need a hug! Best wishes and many s!!

Thanks for your kind words of support, it really helps knowing that people like you are out there even if we are on opposite sides of the earth.
One day at a time.....

Sally, I felt kind of weird about losing my uterus as well. I hope these feeling are short lived for you. You are not alone here. I've had a few surgeries in the past and this has been the most tramatic. Hang in there. We are all here to listen.

Kathy

What you are feeling is completely normal. I would be worried if you didn't feel that way. You need to mourn your loss, and it is a loss. You will start to feel better as time goes on and when your body feels better you will realize how happy you are you did have this surgery. You are a strong woman to have gone through what you have the last 20 years. My prayers are with you. It is ok to cry, we all do.

Janelle

I'm 6 weeks & 1 day post op and I too had the blue feeling for awhile. I'm better now but still mourn sometimes! I never had any children and never planned to have any but I still felt the loss! I also dreamed that I was pregnant , I felt all the joy and happiness until I remembered I had had surgery and woke up crying! I'm sorry your going thru all this but we are here to get thru this together and like you said one day at a time. One thing I'm very happy about is NO More Painful Periods!

Thank you ladies for all your support and kind words; it is my turn to give back to this site, what a lifesaver!

Hi Sally,

Sorry your feeling this way and I hope it passes soon but just know that for many ladies that have never had the problems you've had, still go through what is best described as a grieving process. Many experience the blues straight after surgery as your hormones are all over the place. Remember your body has been through rather a lot over the years and add the surgery into the equation it really shouldn't surprise us that our bodies do a little revolt but it does as we're so used to being strong.

Now the best thing you can do is cry when you need to although you can't stop it happening even if you want and most importantly talk to your hubby about how you feel and let him help. I remember my poor hubby was so clueless when I started crying he thought he'd done something but when I explained it was just my hormones, he just sat and cuddled me while I cried but I must tell you he also laughed because he knew I wasn't enjoying having no control over it occuring.

However if after a couple of weeks things aren't settling down have a chat to your doctor about what's going on. Sometimes the hormones need a little help.

Take care................Karen