LAVH: Just a Ride???

So my hubby and I were talking about my upcoming LAVH on 12/5 and he mentions he is going to work that day. I was like....WHAT??? YOU SAID YOU TOOK THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF FOR ME!! So he starts saying as how he planned on taking thurs/fri off but was going to head to work after he drops me off for surgery on wed! I couldn't believe my ears! He seriously thought he was going to abandon me to have a MAJOR surgery and then just come pick me up when I was released sometime probably the next day! I am still floored he honestly thought nothing of just dropping me at the door and driving away. So I almost started bawling in the darn resteraunt because well my emotions are already running in high gear, I am super stressed over getting homework and finals done amongst this rollercoaster, and my hubby obviously isn't concerned enough to realize I NEED him by my side...even if it means him sitting in the surgery waiting room while I am in there. I want him there when I wake up, I want him there to be with me when I get moved to a room. Right now I am barely holding things together and I need his support. Maybe I should just call my mom instead...she never lets me down and has sat through three other surgeries for me. *sigh*

That's terrible. He should be there. What is it with some men being so insensitive about this surgery. No matter how it's done, it's still major and you need support. I asked my mom to go with me. My bf isn't being the greatest either. I know my mom will be there all day with me.

He needs to be there and he needs to tell his job he will not be in those days. There are times in your life that only your husband will do and this is one of those times. My DH was very supportive. He went to each doctor appt with me and when I was wheeled to my room he was already there waiting on me. He stayed by my side the whole time I was in the hospital. You need to talk to him Hun and express to him that you do not want him there but you NEED him there Good luck.

Im so sorry! That's awful. He needs to be there. My in-laws are coming in for a few days - and my mother-in-law is JUST the kind of person to try and get my husband to leave while im in surgery and go to the mall or something. i made him SWEAR to me that he WOULD NOT LEAVE until after im out of surgery, in a room, and have had a chance to see him and feel confident that im ok .... before he goes ANYWHERE.

im so sorry - i probably would have cried, my emotions are HIGH ALERT as well.

You know the worst part is he is the boss. He doesn't have to ask for time off. Our employees can run the jobsite without him being there as long as he is available by phone

Then there's absolutely no reason he can't be there. If it were him, I'm sure he'd expect you to be there.

We're here for you! I know it's not the same as physically being there, but we'll be thinking of you.

I had my surgery on Wednesday - and I can tell you that if it turns out that you are really not going to have him there - you will be ok. Once I checked in for pre-op at 8:00am I have no memory of anything until about 4 in the afternoon. I was cathed and epiduraled and I didn't need my hubby for anything really. He had a horrible nights sleep in an upright chair - and it wasn't until the following day when I had to get up and down to the bathroom when I needed some support for the first few trips. The first night home I needed him to set up some water and crackers for me - get me ice bags and heating pads - but that was it - after a day or two I am a self contained unit. My mom is here watching after the kids and the dogs - but I am puttering about just fine.
I hope he is there for you - when you need him. I sent hubby into work today - honestly I need to clean up when he can't see me and tell me to get back to bed! My mom is rolling her eyes at me because I gingerly swept up the kitchen floor and then sighed with relief because I couldn't rest upstairs knowing the extent of dog hair and crumbs!

moonej

I am sorry to hear you are feeling less than supported by your husband.

You may want ot cisit the www.MisterHysterSisters.com site and have him check out some of the information there.

I feel for you!! I couldn't imagine!! My sister is law is coming with us for the specific task of keeping my husband calm and occupied while I am in surgery and post op. I hope to be released the same day, if possible... and I know that my husband will drive me INSANE with waiting and watching the clock until I am released. So, she's in charge of him not making me insane....

Now - I did tell them that after I am rolled away for surgery - it is OK if they go get some breakfast. Just make sure they are there when I wake up. I don't want to have to get my phone and start texting "where are you?"

I hope that you told your husband that you DO expect him to be there when you wake up. You won't know if he is gone or not while you are under, but he needs to be there for you when you wake up, if that is what you want!!!

Don't be too hard on him. Does he have a decent track record of support during hard times? Has he always taken care of your needs? My husband is a contractor and therefore his own boss but i can tell you this by no means equals unlimited flexibility. He's responsible for the proper running of multiple jobs and also responsible for our employees and gettin them the material they need, etc. Sometimes husbands mean well but at the same time he's probably makin sure everything gets done on that day so that he CAN take the two days off when you'll need him most.