Post op checkup surgery date 12/21

I had my post op today. My recovery even though it was a robotic surgery was very hard. The flu went thru the house and I was sick almost 3 weeks after surgery then a sinus infection. So while I'm 8 weeks I feel like I'm at 3. I had my uterus taken out over ten years ago and that was a tough recovery because I was cut. But with this one I knew I wasn't where I was suppose to be because at 8 weeks when lifting I would feel pulling which surprised me, I still had one incision that wasn't healed and would bleed. I had no stitches come out since surgery but I know others in here have said they either never saw them or just a few. She did an exam which took me by surprise a bit uncomfortable and I'm thinking okay if I cannot tolerate a hand in there my husband isn't going to get the news he is hoping to hear lol. So after the exam she put me back to no lifting, no driving nothing for 3 more weeks which I get. But what surprised me is I asked about the stitches how many I had left or were they all gone? I've had other surgeries with dissolvable stitches and they usually came out before my pre op visit. Her answer was all of them???? I'm like how can that be and when I said well how do you know? I know stupid question I was clearly surprised and she said well I can see them and feel them. When she said feel I must have made a face. In here there is a wealth of information and I know its been discussed that some people had felt the stitches or that their partner did. She said don't worry they feel like hair. I asked why hadn't any come out and how long would it take ? She said it could take up to 3 months for them to come out. So I went into my visit already nervous, which I probably should have said that first and why, now I'm more nervous. I went into the apt with the worry about loosing lubrication (I didn't with just the uterus). My husband hates lube hates it not that he won't use it but we have been married a long time I can't get that out of my head we have never used it only the time when we were first intimate. So I was nervous about that, I was nervous about are these stitches. Like crazy nervous thinking are they strong enough to last as long as I live or at some point is it going to tear or the stitches let go ? Please tell me someone else is having these thoughts? I mean I walked out there with absolute no intimacy till my next apt and I was relieved. Because on top of worrying about my lubrication, having to use a lube, afraid of it tearing or the stitches letting go now I'm freaked out because all of my stitches are still there. I have no clue how we will get to the point of being intimate because I am worried about everything which well affects everything from lube to mood. I'm also seriously slapped right into menopause the hot flashes are crazy. That just fuels my thoughts that there is no way I'm ever going to have any type of lubrication on my own. I cannot take any hormones because I had my surgery because of genetic testing and I'm on tamoxifen which of course that dries you up as well. How can you be intimate when your worried about how your body responds you have no control over it anymore? When your worried that you have all your stitches and he is going to feel them all and worrying whether everything is going to tear apart or fall apart because its just thread? I'm realizing as I type this it probably sounds crazy. But if I don't talk to someone and ask I'm truly going to go crazy. Anyone with these crazy thoughts how to over come them what to do with zero lubrication a hubby that hates lube anyone