TVH Insensitive people

This post was very timely. I had a hysterical crying fit after my boss (who is my sister) texted me "you have to come to work today". I flipped out and thought she was being insensitive. She had a tah 15 years ago and seemed to have forgotten her recovery. She has no recollection of how much pain she was in or when she returned to work. I had told her that I would be in for a few hours today, but I didn't go to sleep last night until After 5am due to insomnia and panic attacks. Every little (or big) thing sets me off. I'm a wreck. I am sorry that you husband has loud and stupid friends. Did you get pictures of your surgery? I pull mine out to anyone I think doubts my long-10 day recovery period. Seeing my giant exploded chocolate cyst tends to shut them up. Good luck!

I went to church yesterday for the first time since my TAH. First person I saw when I got there told me how great it was I was there and "back to normal". My hubby answered before I could even respond to her and quickly said "no, a long way from normal, she's got five weeks to heal yet". I think people really are clueless about what our bodies have been put through.

I think they need to hear it from you, somehow that it's not nice, or cute or funny!!!!

LoriLiz

I haven't read every ones replies but I think this is why we should get to take out uterus home with us.. to smack people with when they are stupid. I wish I had real advice but hang in there we are here with you.. even if it's just day dreaming about smacking people.

I'm sending you cyber hugs right back.

I'm so sorry to hear about the insensitivity that is running rampant in all your lives! I just want to take my foot and connect it to their rear bones.

I've been pretty fortunate and people have been asking how I'm doing a lot - even jumping in and telling me quit doing stuff, lol. But I've also been very candid with the surgery - how many/much ligaments, blood vessels, arteries, muscle tissue, fascia, etc. have been cut as well as how much blood I loss and what the heck was pulled out of my body!!

People truly have no clue and I keep hearing the line, "Oh you'll never have to worry about your period again!" Yeah, how quaint.

My husband & his parents have been great to me & one close friend has been great as well. But boy...I'm so disappointed & mad at all the other girl friends i have. No phone calls or texts, some live in the same town as me & i haven't heard a word. Their husbands constantly ask my husband how i am doing but the females can't even send me a text. All i know is when they have all had issues like, divorce, financial troubles & a parent almost dead, i was totally there for them. Really breaks my heart actually. I'm thankful for the love & support from my hubby & my one close girlfriend, but what the heck is wrong with the rest of them???

	Quote:
Originally Posted by bluejay1919 My husband & his parents have been great to me & one close friend has been great as well. But boy...I'm so disappointed & mad at all the other girl friends i have. No phone calls or texts, some live in the same town as me & i haven't heard a word. Their husbands constantly ask my husband how i am doing but the females can't even send me a text. All i know is when they have all had issues like, divorce, financial troubles & a parent almost dead, i was totally there for them. Really breaks my heart actually. I'm thankful for the love & support from my hubby & my one close girlfriend, but what the heck is wrong with the rest of them???

A friend that I thought would be supportive of me after my procedure pretty much went AWOL... until today (four days after my surgery). Maybe because I expected her to stay in touch with me (we arranged to get together at least once a week for months, previous to now!) and act like she cared... I was easily disappointed? Now my feelings are hurt, of course...

Now is the time that our true friends confirm/reinforce their status, I'm guessing.

Very true...this is the time we find out who our true friends are. I'm the type that can't hold in my feelings & when I see these "girlfriends" that have completely forgotten about me...I may go off. One friend I've had since I was 16..I'm 30 now. She's been my maid of honor, flew from Idaho to Texas when my Dad was dying & flew down again when I was so sick during my 2nd pregnancy with hypermesis gravidarum. But where is she now?? It's like she doesn't understand how hard this was for me to do, although I had no choice, but it's still hard & we all know it's painful & a slow recovery. I just wish females could be more understanding of what we all go through. If your going to be a friend. ..be the best **** ed friend you can be!!

I think when people don't know what to say they use the at least you don't get periods anymore line. I really don't think people understand until they have been through it. Or had similar circumstances

I think also our western mind has put the taboo on all things sexual, and the parts we are talking about are our vaginas, uteri(?) and gonads- all those parts many of us were trained not to talk about - you know, like "your friend came this month," or your 'vajayjay', and the one that bothers me the most, most of us don't know a vagina from a vulva (or 'volvo', as some jokingly say.) So when we go through things like childbirth or a dysfunction having to do with our "lady parts" (pun intended) most everyone gets uncomfortable and tries to make light of it, or dismiss it completely, and along with the idea of talking about lady parts, the patient gets thrown out with the bathwater, so to speak.
Until we as a society don't get the idea through that there is nothing wrong with sex or vaginas or ovaries, we, as patients of heavy duty surgeries will never be taken seriously. But we have to start with ourselves, stop censoring ourselves and training our daughters to be ashamed of our womanness. Ok done with my rant.