Being made to feel bad for make the "choice" to do this

On the 4th of this month after meeting with my gyno we scheduled my surgery for the 18th. While in some respects this is totaly a choice for me in some respects it is not.

I do not have endo or anything like that. What I do have is bleeding that we have not been able to get completly under control. Heavy with large clots and at the wrong time(s). This has been going on for years and everything we have tried has not worked. Nothing has been found as to why this is happening.

I could either try an ablation (may or may not work) or do the hyster. The kicker is I have HORRID uncontrolable kill me now migraines during my cycle. Starting up to 3 days before and continuing all during my cycle and lasting up to 3 days after. I end up in Urgent Care or the ER most every month. The hope is that the hyster will help by taking the overies.

Unfortunately my co-worker's wife is due to give birth about the same time my surgery is. There never would be a good time for me to be out but this is an extra bad time. So I am getting a little flack.

I just can't wait any longer, we have benn trying our best for the past year and a half to get me "fixed" (longer if you count my previous docs) and nothing has worked. I am sick and tired of feeling like ****! Also if I had to wait longer there would not be enough drugs on the face of the earth to keep me calm. They know how high strung I am and it should have dawned on them how badly I am freaking out, even though I am happy that I am doing this finally.

So now I swing between feeling bad that I am putting them out and feeling **** you I need to take care of number one and that is me! I know that answer is in the middle somewhere there but after this last week I have had I just want to tell them try and suffer like me and see how they like it. I am so sleep deprived right now with what I am doing for work it is not helping matters.

Thanks for letting me vent!!

Dear Comper,
I'm so sorry that you have so much stress from outside in addition to the natural anxiety before surgery. I had a TVH two years ago. Before hand I was a mess. This forum helped me to keep from going over the edge and I'm sure it will be helpful for you too.
As for the external pressure, My feeling is that you cannot take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. You've done all that you could do to avoid this surgery and you can't avoid it. It will not be good or helpful for you to put others need before your own.
It hard for us caregivers to take care of ourselves, but this time you must.
Best of luck!
Irene

You have to take care of yourself first. Do not feel guilty about that. I was having terrible bleeding & after the surgery they did find endo that we didn't know what there. So this could be the answer for you also. Best wishes.

It's the right thing to do, taking care of a chronic Health issue is more important than placating your workplace. There would probably never be an okay time for them.

I agree you have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. Maybe it is bad timing for your co-workers wife to have a baby You cannot plan your life around someone else, there is always going to be some reason why others think you shouldn't do it. But Take care of yourself, and best of luck to you.

you know what i was there before i took off of work to have my surgery there were a girl that was leavig on her maternity leave at the end the month and i was leaving in the middle but this is my take your body your decision they r not u going thur what u go thur take care of your temple you only have one!No Guilt

Thanks all for your words of encouragement. There never will be a good time for me to be gone because I do it all. No really I do do it all.

It just makes it worse that one of the running topics of conversation around here is about how my boss is always calling in sick and working from home. We have unlimited sick days. I drag my sorry self in after visiting Urgent Care in the AM for a shot of Tordal because life as we know it would end if I wasn't here.

Thanks again for letting me vent.

You need to take care of number one first. You know maybe they chose the wrong time to have a baby. Maybe they should just put off their life for a little bit until you are well enough to come back to work. Sorry couldn't resist.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Comper68 While in some respects this is totaly a choice for me in some respects it is not.

The fact that it is a choice does not mean that it is frivolous. It isn't like the choice to have a pedicure, when you can have a good quality of life if you wait a while to get it done. This is not even about quality of life as much as it is about functionality of life. Your workplace will just have to work through this. You will be a more productive employee when you are pain-free. Rise above the gripes, and repeat these words to block out their complaining: "I am the princess, I am the princess, I am the princess..."

Please take good care of yourself. There is only one of you, and you deserve to have a healthy life.