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  #1  
Unread 06-19-2017, 04:17 AM
Sad

I am going to be 41 soon. I have never had children, I haven't even been in a relationship. I'm glad I had a hysterectomy only because the bleeding and the pain was scaring me so much I literally thought I was dying. Part of me mourns that I will never be pregnant. As for having a child I know I can always adopt. I found out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and now I have cancer. I'm already depressed and have so much anxiety. I feel like I'm just a burden to my family. I admit I wish my life would just end.i think about dying a lot. I even dream about it sometimes. Do not worry my faith keeps me from following my morbid thoughts and thinking about how hurt all my love ones would feel helps me to turn my thoughts around. I do not like being this depressed. I'm trying to do something about it though. I'm seeking out professional help. I have always been a bubbly type of person, but for the past fee years I am becoming more of a hermit.
  #2  
Unread 06-19-2017, 09:32 AM
Sad

  Quote:
Originally Posted by YukiAngel#1 View Post
I am going to be 41 soon. I have never had children, I haven't even been in a relationship. I'm glad I had a hysterectomy only because the bleeding and the pain was scaring me so much I literally thought I was dying. Part of me mourns that I will never be pregnant. As for having a child I know I can always adopt. I found out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and now I have cancer. I'm already depressed and have so much anxiety. I feel like I'm just a burden to my family. I admit I wish my life would just end.i think about dying a lot. I even dream about it sometimes. Do not worry my faith keeps me from following my morbid thoughts and thinking about how hurt all my love ones would feel helps me to turn my thoughts around. I do not like being this depressed. I'm trying to do something about it though. I'm seeking out professional help. I have always been a bubbly type of person, but for the past fee years I am becoming more of a hermit.
Hello. I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am about 4 weeks post op. I never had children also. I am experiencing a lot of grief with this so I totally understand your sadness. A friend of mine had uterine cancer and also never had children. I know the feeling of being a bubbly person and then feeling like a hermit. I feel like I've always been an optimist and now see myself being more pessimistic. I'm glad to hear you are seeking professional help. I plan to do the same. I'm glad you posted here as we are here to support each other! We can overcome this! Another page that's helped me is on Facebook. It's called Support for the Inability to Bear Children. I highly recommend it. I hope things will get better for you. You are not a burden and have purpose for being here. We all do. Much love your way.
  #3  
Unread 06-22-2017, 09:25 PM
Re: Sad

(((YukiAngel#1 ))) I am very glad you're seeking help, dear sister. Please know that you aren't alone and many of these feelings aren't unexpected, all things considered. But, sometimes, we do need a little help getting the ground back under our feet. Also, if you ever do feel you are in crisis, please seek immediate care (ER or call 911).

You certainly aren't a burden to anyone, least of all your family. In fact, I'm sure they'd be shocked to think you felt that way. You are a beautiful, unique person who means much more to those around her than you might even realize. And, even though you don't feel like your true self at the moment, you'll get there. You will. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

One step at a time . . .
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  #4  
Unread 06-23-2017, 07:48 AM
Re: Sad

Yukiangel#1 - your not alone on how you feel ! You described how I feel to a "t". I to had polysistic ovarian syndrome and never was blessed with children. I feel your sadness, anxiety and severe depression every day since my hysterectomy, I just have not seemed professional help yet.
Hugs to you and rember your not alone in this marathon!
  #5  
Unread 06-23-2017, 04:11 PM
Re: Sad

It is so strange. When I found out I had cancer I prayed to God to spare my life. That was a period of clarity when I understood how precious life is, how blessed I am to be alive. I felt euphoric after the surgery when they told me it was an early stage and surgery would suffice.
But then I realized the consequences of the surgery and depression just hit me like a wall. I've been angry and depressed for the last year and a half. It's just not getting better.
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