venting/anxiety

Hello Everyone,

Just had a feeling i needed to talk to someone. So here it goes. As i stated before that I am a behavioral Therapist aide. THis week has been the hardest week. We had to call the police on her 3 times this week,but she has outsmarted the police and when they arrive says she doesn't need any help and for them to please go away.

In the midst of her violent behaviors, it has taken a toll on me. I am trying my hardest to stick it out . Then this is the same week that i found out i got no surgery date and i lost my most recent girlfriend,she just dropped me off the surface of this earth.

I am going through anger,frustration,denial..You name it,that is what i am going through. I don't even have the comfort from my mom because of her hectic schedule and i am just having to soak in everything myself.

It is soooooooooo hard. TOday i also found out that because everyone did not attend the staff meeting last week,that was the reason for us not getting our paychecks on Friday,they were ready wed past to cut the checks,but said we wouldn't be getting them until this wed coming. I was so angry. Sometimes i wonder what is the reasoning behind my supervisor's decision. It has caused stress on other staff members because after certain staff members found out,they said they would not return until they received a paycheck,so with 13 clients needing direct care, we are on a limited staff. It has been mentally and physically fatiquing. But I believe strongly in what goes around comes around. She will get what is coming to her eventually,if not now.

Then after doing all that she askes me if i would like to be Supervisor for the location I work at ...Can you believe that? I wish she would pay me more,i certainly am not working for the money,because they don't pay enough for us to deal with the stuff we deal with the clients and their behavioral problems.

Any way that is it in a nutshell.
Lydia

Hi Lydia
I am sorry to hear you are having so many problems. Emotional and physical. I wish there was an easy answer to give you but of course there is not. Sometimes we just feel like every day is a test. The money problems are not helping you either.
Is there anyway that maybe you could find some where else to work that is a little more stable. I know that is easier said than done and you do have your commitment to the people you take care of. But sometimes you just have to put yourself first or you will fall into one of those wells that you may not be able to climb out of. I think you should try to save yourself it at all possible and as hard as it may be you have to find something positive to hold on too..
The very best of luck to you...


Lorraine