should have had it all out last may

I cannot believe how things turned out. I started here two Octobers ago, thrilled to be able to take Lupron in order to have my cantaloupe-sized fibroid shrunken enough to remove it without having the bikini cut hyst, which was pushed for by my male gyn. After 7 months of Lupron with a new female gyn, accompanied with not-so-bad hot-flashes/night sweats, the fibroid was down to tangerine size BUT was also small enough to see that it was located in the uterine wall right on top of my bladder, so (planned-for laparoscopic approach was impossible, and-surprise-) it had to be the bikini cut for me, after all. My doctor gave me choices, but both she and the CRNP told me that years ago, in similar situations, they had each chosen to have everything out. Maybe I should have taken that as a hint... When I asked why (at different pre-op visits), they basically said that they did so because they had seen many worst-case situations, especially with ovarian cancer, though most likely I would never see what they had seen professionally. Having had a long time to think it over, be educated, and visit this website, I went for keeping one ovary (the better to have a potential 6 or 7 years of natural hormone action) and to keep my cervix, for potential bladder support later in the future. (I have since been told by my newest gyn that this is a myth!) The surgery was not so bad. The pain pump and nurses in the hospital were wonderful. My DH, DD, DM and even my grown son were a blessing during recuperation. The worst was that my innards were still too tender to travel to my son's college graduation. Also, at post-op day 5 I read of a new study that showed that women in my basal-cell skin cancer situation are twice as likely to have other body cancers, such as brain, breast or ovarian. I wished I had received that magazine a month earlier, but could live with the fear it caused. Meanwhile, for "strike two", the remaining ovary was not preventing sleepless hourly night-sweats, so at post-op week 4, I went to an endocrinologist and started estrace pills, which I was able to learn how to use properly. Then, "strike three" hit like a ton of bricksbut at post-op week 7 when I found out that one of my dearest friends who also had fibroids at the same time as me, was diagnosed (practically out of the blue) with advanced ovarian cancer. That was the last straw. Her extremely brave suffering was up-front, personal, and it slammed home the knowledge that my personal decision was wrong. So I consulted with her oncologist, and 3 months later was able to have a laparpscopic removal of my remaining ovary. An outpatient pleasure, relatively speaking. I thought I was all done. Guess the ovary had been working somewhat, because I had to temporarily kick up my estrace, but I have begun to gradually ramp back the milligrams once again. Then I went for my first post-op pap-test in December and learned that my cervix had healed in an inverted position, so it would be impossible to know what was going on inside it. Worse yet, the pap test results showed my first case ever of LSIL. AAARRGH. It could go away on its own, or turn into pre-cancer, but we would never know what the heck is going on inside where my cervix is hiding. Here is the outcome of this long saga: this Monday, in order to be conservative, I will have a third surgery (2nd bikini cut) in order to remove my inverted, inaccessable cervix. I have not been too lucky with my modern approach and choices. I am thankful and hopeful that things have not been, and should not become any worse. Thanks for listening. For the moral of this story, read my subject line above.

Hi Daisy!

I'm so sorry you've been through so much, but I'm still behind you 100% for your decisions to try to go the conservative route; as you have seen, it's impossible to tell what the right choice is sometimes!

I'm sending big, big s your way and will be thinking of you on Monday, hoping this will be the last procedure you will have to undergo!

s

dear Criss, Thank you so much for "listening" and for your wonderful reply. It makes our wedding anniversary today even nicer.
sincerely, daisy.
p.s: Thanks to you and this site, I have decided to celebrate by trying not to think about and definitely NOT mention my upcoming re-surgery at all as today unfolds! Tomorrow's pre-op bloodwork and paperwork will be enough. What was is that Scarlett O'Hara said??? "Tomorrow is another day!"

I think that you made the decision that seemed best for you at the time. I probably would have tried that myself, given the choice. Wouldn't it be nice if we could actually see the future when we make important decisions?

I'll be saying a prayer that all goes well for you on Monday. Please let us know how you are when you feel up to it.

Dear Jean, Thank you, how sweet of you to be there. When I am feeling up to it, I will let you know how it went.
hoping for an easy "done deal", and grateful for your good thoughts,
daisy.

Daisy, So sorry to hear about your latest news. Since it is only your cervix they are going to remove, can they not do that vaginally in order to prevent the cut? Just wondering as it is generally a faster healing time.

dear btrnj- yes, I did ask about doing the trachelotomy in a less invasive manner, but the doctors explained that as the sewn-shut scarred-over cervix is inverted into the body cavity and impossible to see vaginally, there will be less trauma with the laparotomy. Same situation for another laparoscopic procedure, which he was able to do last May for the single oophorectomy. I kind of see lap/vag as bobbing for a shriveled up tiny apple in a dark unfriendly slippery kind of place, so I accept that the doctor will be doing what is best for me, even though it necessitates another big cut. thank you so much for your concern and message.
daisy