How to cope

Hi Girls
I need a way to cope with people who say are you not feeling better yet? Its driving me crazy, and pushing me to do more than I should. I am almost 6 weeks post op and feeling good most of the time but there are some things I just cant do yet. I have been on my own for the last 4 weeks off the pain meds 3 days after surgery doing my own house work with the exception of the vac, what more can I do not to mention I dont ask these people to help in any way so what business is it of theirs anyway. Sorry girls just need to vent, you know it is so hard anyway to be in this position (I feel so useless) how do we let people know how much there remarks hurt, and how do we cope ourselves with all the changes that are already going on.

First of all they need to realize that everyone heals differently. I also suggest you share with them things from this website such as 15 things we learned, I posted this on my refrigerator for my family so that I would not have to explain what I could and could not do. I have no problem letting them know that I will do something one day and may not do it the next due to the fact that I feel different just about everyday. You need to focus on your healing and make yourself a priority. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you Get some rest and do something for YOU!!!!

Thank you so much this sight has been a life saver for both me and my DH, who better to understand than those who have been through the same thing.

Hi,
I know how you feel, actually I have had real good day and when hubby see's those days he thinks Ill be ok for this trip he has organised to London and Canada mid July. He has told his Canadian family that the trip depends if im well enough. when he speaks to the on the phone he says Im doing ok, when that very day I had been crying my eyes out and really depressed... So I think they will be expecting to see us in Canada mid July...But with the lat few days of tears and pain and hubby reading some of the things on here I think he is realising I wont be ready like I told him all along. He has been a great support, but men don't always get how us women feel

hi i know exactly how you feel,every since the 2nd week i've had best friends even down to my imidate family say snap out of it,i don't get it they took everything out there should be nothing left to hurt,that was my sister that said that one...and the best friend on week 3 we had to go out for a family members serious surgery and her statement was what the h=== is that and i said my ice pack! and she said did our other friend see that while she was laughing at me. meanwhile i wanted to burst out into tears.. and i looked her square in the face mind you she is pregnant right now/and i said have you ever had a hysterectomy ,and she said no but i did have a c section and a tummy tuck,and i said ih yea and how long did it take u to recover and she said a week at the most.. i said oh ok and just walked away.my sis also just the other day made fun of my ice pack until she seen me first thing in the morn. and my belly was down a bit and half way through the day it looked huge and she said omg look at your belly and i said i know its that ice pack that you make fun of that helps that,she said i wonder if there is still something wrong down there of if it wasn't done right and i said don't you listen,there is still alot wrong there and that is why it's a 3 to 4 month recovery instead of the average 6 to 8 weeks.. just the night before she was telling me it's time to snap out of it,it over its been a long time since the surgery,i got tears in my eyes and said i'm doing the best i can she said you was never like this before you get so emotional,i felt like nocking her on the head and saying all my insides are ripped out and my hormones are crazy of course i'm not the same.. she said i'm just trying to help,i said your just making it worse according to my doc i'm doing better than she expected,then i took out the photos and that is all she needed to see,and now that i'm spotting she is terrified!!
i don't know how this got so long sorry!!
just try to ignore them the best you can,all that matters is how you feel and you know your limits,it's hard i know just say your prayers,and it will be over soon:-)

Dont worry about how long we need someone to talk to and this is the best place to do it. Im so sorry your family is being the way they are I guess if they cant see it than is does not exist. I like the ice pack idea dont know why I didnt think of it, im 6 weeks and still have the swelly belly at the end of the day (hope I dont discourage you) Take care of yourself we only get one time to heal well. It may not be a bad idea to let your family read some of the post and maybe they would understand what we are all going through. I hope the spotting quits and dont be afraid to call the dr that is what he is there for, good luck and God Bless