Am I over reacting??

I haven't been on here on A LONG time. I am almost a year out from my hyst and I guess besides a little adjustment in my HRT I am doing ok. Last Saturday my husband and I were out to dinner with a couple we just met. We were talking about our children and the husband metioned he had had a vasectomy. My husband said "so did I" and then spouted off "she had a hysterectomy about a year ago." I don't know why but I was immediately ticked off. Even though I don't regret my hyst I feel that it is private and he didn't have the right to say anything about it to people....am I wrong about this?? I guess it is because I feel like people automatically pitty you because of it, I think some people don't think of you as a whole women (especially men) especially since I am not that old. Maybe it was just me and trust me when we left and got in the car I came unglued on him! If he wants to tell everyone he has his procedure that is fine but I told him he didn't have the right to tell anyone about mine and when I felt comfortable I would tell them myself. I know he meant no harm by it that is was just a dumb man thing......am I crazy?????

I agree with you....YOU should be the one who decides when and where your hyst info is conveyed!!! It is a highly personal thing to a woman....you wouldn't hear a man freely giving out details if he had his "man" parts removed..lol! You are definitely not crazy....and I don't think you will find many here who think you are overreacting.

You aren't crazy at all. Men are wired so differently than woman. To your DH having the vasectomy and overcoming it is like killing a trophy deer. "Look what I've done!" And hey, my wife is TOUGH too "she's had a hysterectomy!" to him it's a battle you faced, and conquered. To you it's a very personal and intimate battle that you would prefer to keep to yourself. I am quite sure he meant no harm in sharing, although I can see where it would upset you (and me too).

Just the progression of male conversation regarding child birth leading to the vasectomy statement is an indication that they truly feel the need to be stronger.

I hope you are able to forgive your loose lipped hubby. I can completely relate, as my DH has told everyone who will listen that I was having my TAH and begged them all to pray for him as I would probably return from the hospital a bigger b*tch than before! Men! Hmph! You can't live with them.. you can't live without em, or can ya

I'm not that particular as to who knows about my surgery, but I do prefer to be the one who imparts that information. I don't blame you for being annoyed. My hubby can tell anyone he wants about my surgery, but certainly not while I'm sitting there next to him! If you don't happen to feel like talking about it to whomever, you are sort of stuck.

I completely agree, you have every right to be upset. And we can't just fault the men, my mother seems inclined to tell anyone we meet that I too have had a hysterectomy. Then comes the looks and the long explanation. I'm only 33, so why should I have had one. That whole journey is very private and personal and not something I want the whole world knowing. I had borderline ovarian tumors. Left ovary and football-sized tumors removed 3 years ago then right ovary another football-sized tumor and a TAH this September. Then you have to explain what that is and yada, yada...talk of chemo, no children, HRT. Anyway, I totally agree that it is your place when and who you tell. Not everyone needs to know.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by kitcat1972 And we can't just fault the men, my mother seems inclined to tell anyone we meet that I too have had a hysterectomy.

Oops.. I suppose that is normal for me tho, I never think any further than a man has to be at fault
Seriously... you're right, sure it could be anyone sharing and I stand corrected. Especially since in thinking about it I believe I am usually the ONE doing the overshare

I don't think your overreacting at all. It is *private* information. You should be the one to decide whether you want anyone to know or not. I would have been really ticked off too. Ask him to be a bit more respectful of you and your feelings next time.

The funny thing is when I told him it was private he said "it is?!" I guess that is men for you......

That was wrong on so many levels. No, you are definitely NOT crazy. I just hope you gave him enough grief over it that he "gets it" now!

I can understand being upset. This is your own personal matter, and if you choose not to want it revealed then it shouldn't. Tell DH not to do that anymore. As you said, I'm sure he meant no harm and just blurted without thinking...man thing lol. But let him know how deeply you feel on this issue and I'm sure he won't do it again.

Sorry you got hurt over this. You really have nothing to be ashamed of just cause you had a hyster. A uterus and ovaries do not make up a woman..it's the heart and soul that does. You're still a beautiful woman