5 more days and freaking out - need advice & hugs

I have 5 more days until my scheduled LAVH. My emotions are going crazy. My family is great but I feel guilty for putting them through all this. Friday I helped my Sister-in-Law go through a Da Vinci. She had breathing difficulties and seeing her in recovery like that made my knees shake more. She doing good now. She's home now and recovering. I don't know how to let others take care of me. I'm usually the one doing it. I need to relax but can't as the trip to the castle looms but can't. DH is very supportive but last night woke me up crying that he was scared. How do I respond to that? How can I help my family through this if I'm hanging on a thread.

my1301 -

Pre-op jitters are the worst, especially when you've seen your SIL have some difficulties. I think it's really normal for you and your family to have tension and concerns.

There are various techniques you might use to help you depending on your beliefs and attitudes...prayers, guided imagery relaxation (there's some great CDs out there), there's CDs on healing. Journalling can be a great thing where you can just write out whatever you are feeling and than throw it away or burn it. Those things can help you release some of the pent up tensions so you are more calm for yourself and your family. I found posting here about these things helped a lot.

I tweaked your title just a little bit to get you some more hugs during your wait. As for your DH, I think hugs help you know he cares a lot if he's that worried.

Sending you and wishes for successful surgery and uneventful recovery.

G.

Hi im still new at this too but I hope that my hugs can reach you I too feel Guilty and its hard to have someone else take over when you are the one taking care of everyone else but now is the time to let them take care of you .....you can do it hugs an dwell wishes for your surgery

Thank you Tauruslady and Justme. For your kind words they do help.

my1301, hang in there! My LSH is set for Tuesday 8/18 early morning, and I've heard from lots of sisters here that freaking out is normal.

So if we're both normal because we're sorta freaked out, I guess we'll both have normal surgeries and uneventful recoveries!

Anyway, your SIL isn't you -- be kind to yourself, and trust the wisdom of all the women here. I'm thinking of you, chica!

Guys like to "fix" things so the best way you can help him is maybe to make of list of things he can do to help you when you get home. He can even get your pain medications ahead of time & set the house up for you? That gives him something to concentrate on that he can "do". I had never even been in the hospital before so I was really scared but I am doing good so it can all go just fine! Best wishes.

I have pre op jitters too! I am scheduled to go a week from tomorrow. I am having trouble sleeping and started crying after my pre admission appointment. The anesthesia PA who reviewed my consent with me really needs to work on his bedside manner. This site and our sisters here helps alot. Good luck to you, I will keep you in my prayers.

Lean in dear and I will H U G you bestest I can from Indiana! I know you have heard it over and over but the prejitters are just a part of the puzzle...anticipation can run you up the wall. My husband was very strong to others, but when we were alone, that was another story. He was really worried he was going to lose me. My dx was different than yours but the hysterectomy looming in front of me was a thing that followed me around like Linus with his blanket...take advantage of your friends and family to get through this...you can pay them back later when they need someone..I believe it's called playing it forward...XXOO

many, many hugs to you.

It's ok for you to feel scared and for your hubby to feel scared. Don't worry so much about getting everyone else through this...focus on getting you through this. You and hubby will be feeling a lot better once you start to recover and these medical problems are resolved.

Having said that, I'm in freak mode, too.

Hugs, all the way from Holland.

I was very scared beforehand, too. Like Tauruslady said, there are many ways to deal with that. What helped me was whenever I freaked I just stopped whatever I was doing, sat on a chair, listened to me breathing, and noticed the flowers outside, listened to the birds. That calmed me down.

I wish you a uncomplicated surgery and recovery!

In a household where I am the only woman (DH and 2 sons) everybody relies on me, too. I am the caregiver. Beforehand we have talked about what I expected from them for as far as I could imagine it. This site has helped me an enormous lot! I really learned how to be a princess and let the men care for me. I have stayed in my pj-s and jogging pants for a looooong time. Maybe longer than necessary. The moment I started wearing regular clothes and doing small things like folding laundry, my men thought I could do everything and their caretaking days were over.

Pamper your self and let yourself being pampered.