Intimacy

Ok ladies, looking for some calming but real advice.

My surgery was Dec. 7th. Next week is the post op appoint. w/ uterine oncologist. He has discussed with us that we shouldn't be intimate until after this appointment.

I am concerned. I have struggled with body image for years, now I really struggle with having double mastectomies, the thought of now not having a uterus and ovaries leaves me bewildered. Beside my hips, and my voice, what makes me a woman?

We have been married for 20 years, and he is extremely understanding.

However, I have to say, he is clergy, so I feel pretty isolated to discuss this with women I am close to. Even my doc panicked when he found out my dh was a priest. Now I don't feel real comfortable discussing intimacy issues with him because of his reaction to clergy. He is catholic and was very respectful, knowing his understanding and views of priests I am nervous to talk to him next week.

Any thoughts?

I'm sorry you feel that you cannot talk to others about your intimacy issues. You came to the right place!

First off...you ARE still a woman. Our breasts and our uterus, cervix, ovaries, and vaginas are NOT what makes us women. Women are gentle, caring, nurturing beings, that have a heart full of love. We are strong minded, strong spirited, and overall- pretty much strong in every way. We are not defined by our body parts, therefore we, as a person, do not change when we lose a body part.

I am sure that you have issues with body image given everything you have had to go through. Just try to remember that women are beautiful on the INSIDE!! I know it is cliche, but it so true. I'm sure you are a beautiful person and it doesn't matter what body parts you have lost.

I think you should definitely wait to have intercourse until you are completely released by your
It is unfortunate that you do not feel comfortable with him to discuss this issue, but just know, you can always come here and get support and hugs from your sisters.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that things go well for you at your appointment next week.

to you!!!

Please don't be afraid to discuss intimacy with your doctor or your girlfriends. God created us to be intimate with our loving spouse, clergy or not! You need the support and guidance as much as any woman going through this process.

Myhpositive,
First, you are a woman. God created you as a woman. Breasts and uterus are just part of who we are as women.

I am sorry you feel you cannot discuss intimacy. Having women to talk to helps so much. We are here for you. One Christian woman to another, I found a couple of great website regarding Christian women and sexuality. They helped me so much. I know I cannot post links here. Do a search, or PM me.

It is sad that your Dr has backed off because of your husband. We were created to be intimate with our spouse, you deserve support.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by myhpositive Ok ladies, looking for some calming but real advice. My surgery was Dec. 7th. Next week is the post op appoint. w/ uterine oncologist. He has discussed with us that we shouldn't be intimate until after this appointment. I am concerned. I have struggled with body image for years, now I really struggle with having double mastectomies, the thought of now not having a uterus and ovaries leaves me bewildered. Beside my hips, and my voice, what makes me a woman? We have been married for 20 years, and he is extremely understanding. However, I have to say, he is clergy, so I feel pretty isolated to discuss this with women I am close to. Even my doc panicked when he found out my dh was a priest. Now I don't feel real comfortable discussing intimacy issues with him because of his reaction to clergy. He is catholic and was very respectful, knowing his understanding and views of priests I am nervous to talk to him next week. Any thoughts?

Hugs to you. So sorry you are feeling so isolated, but as others have said...you are not alone--you have us! Intimacy/sexuality is an important part of a relationship, doesn't matter what path God has lead us too. The important thing is to remember that God did create you as a woman and that will never change no matter what you are missing body wise. You are very special to God and I'm sure to your dear husband.