Stiff Upper Lip

I am scheduled to have a hysterectomy on Feb.13th and am really getting nervous. I've had years of abnormal Paps, an unsuccessful LEEP this past summer and have now been diagnosed with an AGUS smear. One of my biggest problems is that I live in mainland China where access to advanced healthcare is non-existent. (I had to go to Hong Kong to have my colposcopy done) I've been in touch with my US doc about scheduling the surgery etc however with the 14 hour time difference, it's hard to keep in touch. I feel very isolated here but I also feel like I can't let it show how scared I am. I've talked to a few friends who've had hysterectomies and they go on and on about how great it is and how they wished they'd done it years ago. I personally am not looking forward to the surgery. I've done as much research as possible on the internet but keep focusing on all the possible problems of the surgery. I read the list of suggestions for pre-op - one of which is to try to stay healthy - and realized that I have about 20 hours of plane rides to try to stay healthy in just a few days before my surgery. My husband will be there for the first 2 weeks but then has to come back to China while I recuperate at my parent's house. After my doctor says it's ok, I will fly back to China alone. I try not to talk about this too much with my friends ( I feel like they think I'm "wimpy") so I'm doing the "stiff upper lip" thing. My mom's already talking about a "social schedule" after I've been out of the hospital so I assume she expects the "suck it up" type attitude as well (that's the way she is). I also feel like I need to somehow mourn the loss of my uterus but don't feel like I can say that out loud lest people think I'm nuts. Guess I'm just a mess - if I was Stateside right now, I'd probably be at Barnes and Nobles buying all the books I could get my hands on and I'd be looking into hospital support groups - I can't have that here. I'm glad to have found this website to help me work through some of this.

Hi and welcome!! I'm so glad you found us!! You are no longer alone! We will be here for you every step of the way!

I can really relate to you. I had abnormal paps for years too (5 years to be exact!). They were usually Class 2, but at the end were Class 3. My doctor did everything he knew to do...colposcopy, cryotherapy, hormones, hysteroscopy and D&C. Finally, I was at the end of my rope and just wasn't willing to have to worry about it any more. I'm glad I opted for a hysterectomy and have no regrets.

Know that you can always come here and be yourself. You can tell us your fears and worries, you can ask any question you need to ask. We have all been there or are awaiting surgery so you have found a group of women who will support you no matter what. Noone here will think you are a wimp!

Just a bit of advice...you will need to supply your mother with some information about hysterectomy recovery! You will in no way be able to socialize after your surgery! You will need to rest, rest, rest!!! Initial recovery time is 6-8 weeks and there are some restrictions that you will need to adhere to. You will not be able to lift over 5 lbs., no vacuuming, bending, pulling, pushing. You will need to follow your doctor's advice to a "T"!! Here is a link that will help you to understand the recovery process after a hysterectomy. Print this info out and have mom read it!

Hysterectomy Recovery Articles

You hang in there and come here often to get lots of s!!!

Sherry

Wish I could reach out and give you a great big but since I can't here are a few cyber ones and too. Never feel like you can't say anything on this site (oh maybe some words that are well you know the kind LOL.) Someone is always here 24/7 and we all try to talk and answer whatever it is you need to talk about. I too morned my uterus. It is the place I carried my DS for 8 months. It kept him safe and warm, so I really hated to part with it, but in the past years it has turned and been something I can do without. So I said a tearful goodbye the night before surgery and never looked back. God Bless and hope your flight seems a way to a new Woman.

Listen Bugaboo,
You have come to the right place for support.

Personally I don't care if people think I am wimpy so I told all to whomever would listen when I was on the waiting side. No you are not crazy for having to mourn the loss of your uterus. My doctor even addressed the issue and asked me if I needed help in the mourning process. So it is well accepted that some women do have to mourn.

Can you just tell your mom not to schedule anything until you are there and will be able to tell her what you are up for? You'll be surprised at how well you feel about about 2 or weeks but you'll get tired easy so you'll have to schedule short visits with people. maybe you mom is just excited to have you back to herself for awhile? Who knows with mothers?

you keep coming to this website for support. When are you flying back to the US? My husband was home for a week with me before he returned to work and that was all I really needed. After that I was up and about for myself. Now mind you I still don't lift anything but I was doing for myself quite quickly.

The waiting is the worst part.

Can you get some sleeping pills for the flight home? That way the time will go by and you'll get some extra rest.

Keep us all posted please, Sparkler

Thanks to all of you who sent me words of encouragement - you just don't know how great it was to log on this morning and see that someone read my post and responded! I still don't know exactly when I'll be headed back to the US - my husband's company is attempting to make all the arrangements. The problem is that it is Chinese New Year (the week of Feb.11th) so it's the equivalent of trying to make last minute flight arrangements in the US mid-December! Thanks for telling me it's ok to mourn my impending loss - I guess sometimes you just need to hear it's ok.........I got an email from my mom today - argh! She's telling me that she's having a PEO meeting (a women's sorority of sorts) and that men are not allowed so my husband will have to leave the house! (on Feb.14th) I'm thinking I'm glad I'll be in the hospital instead of at home! I don't think I'll tell my husband because I know he'll be upset (as am I quite frankly) I will definitely print out the post-op stuff from the link you sent me Miss Emma and will have that prominently displayed in my room. I don't want to overdo anything while recuperating since I have to come so far to get home and since the care here is not great - if I do have a problem, I'll have to fly to see a doctor. Thanks again to all of you - I truly feel hugged and perhaps a little braver.