Need some help

i have a decision to make and I really need some input about it. I hope anyone out there can help me. I started with a new gyn about 4 years ago. I've always had horrible periods with alot of pain, heavy bleeding, cramping, etc. We tried birth control pills and that didn't work. He sent me for an ablation last August. It helped for about 3 months. When I went for my yearly check up, I wasn't honest with him by saying that I was right back where I started because I knew the hyst was the last option and it scared me to death. After the last period from H*ll, I did go back and tell him the whole thing. His attitude was a little rude, but I had put it to having a bad day, we have all had those. However, at that visit, he mentioned to me about loosing weight and quitting smoking. I am over weight and I do smoke, but in the 4 years I've been going to him, it was never an issue and never mentioned. I asked if these had anything to do with the hyst and he said no. I feel that this was a 'dig' at me. I signed the papers that day for my surgery which is schedule for Oct 1st. Since then I have found you, and you have all answered tons of my questions and alleviated alot of my fears. However, it has also raised some questions. I have called him, waited two days for him to call me back, ended up scheduling an appt which I had to wait over 2 weeks for, only to have them call me yesterday and say that it was cancelled because he had an emergency at the hospital. I was not given another appt, and I'm back to waiting for a phone call. That I honestly feel will not come. I was a little concerned about not having a pre-op appt, but I read on the boards that many of you didn't. All Drs are different. However, I am seeing that you are at least getting your questions answered. Now my problem is, he's a very good doctor and I had no problems with him before. Just apparently his bed side manner really stinks. I don't know whether to go through with the surgery and then find a different doctor or if I should forget this and try to hold on with the pain, swelling, being laid up in bed from it, etc. until I can find a different doctor, go through all the tests again and see if they are willing to do a hyst or not. I really can't handle this anymore. Every period gets worse and I can feel the fingers of depression clawing at me days before the period even starts. Always thinking, I'm SO TIRED. Of it all. I've been like this since I was 14. I really don't know what to do and I would appreciate any advice you can offer. Thanks so much for letting me vent.

(((Hugs)))

((((Denise))))

Aw Sweetie, I'm so sorry that your doc does not have a good bedside manner! Shame on him!

Even though you've never had issues with him before, now that you are scheduled for a hyst, you may want to re-think having him as your doc, just MY opinion. Again shame on him for mentioning your weight and that you smoke! I too am over weight and I too smoke. Nothing was said to me about this prior to surgery. If you are not getting your questions answered now before surgery, what type of care will you receive AFTER surgery? Again just MY opinion.

If you can stand to deal with the monthly pain, it may well be worth the wait to get a second opinon and see if you are more comfortable with another doc.

Having this surgery is a big deal and if you are not comfortable with your currant doc, PLEASE seek another.

As for the pre op appointment...I personally think it is best to have it, I would not have agreed to surgery without having one. I would not have been comfortable without talking with my doc and the anesthsia personal. I was prepared that way and knew what to expect. Again these are MY opinions and everyone has a different level of comfort.

I do hope all goes well for you no matter whether you stay with your currant doc or seek another.

's and blessings,

Laurie

I would want a supportive Dr post op. JMHO I know that another Dr will usually * not * want to take on your case immediately post op.

You would not need to go through all the tests again, if you decide to see another Dr. You sign release forms stating what you want shared with the other Dr and your current Dr. MUST send your information on to the next Dr. It's the law.

I have also heard the suggestion to call the hospital and ask to speak to a gyn-surgery nurse. Ask which Dr they think is best. That way you can find a great Dr much more quickly,. I did not do that , but it makes sense to me.

I hope you will be able to make decisions about this that will let you relax and feel comfortable about your upcoming surgery. Best Wishes.

whatever you do - don't just carry on putting up with the pain!!

I would be inclined to hold off a decision until you see if you receive a phonecall...if the phonecall does happen - ask about any pre-op then.

I understand so well that this is one heck of an emotional time so am sending lots of supportive vibes your way so you can think your way through to a decision you are confortable with.

Best wishes

Gill

I notice that you are from New Jersey. I don't know what part of New Jersey your in (I'm from Northern NJ) but if you email me I can give you the name of my group, they are great, and I also had three other opinions from very highly qualified Drs. You do have to go into this surgery believing in your Dr., it helps tremendously.

Good luck

Hi Denise,

Bless your heart ((((((((((((Denise))))))))))))))... I had a similar experience.

I was scheduled for a TAH/BSO with a doctor a year ago... she, too, didn't return calls and I pretty much felt ignored. The surgery was cancelled (due to insurance problems)... and I found, in the long run, it was meant to be.

I found a new doctor and everything just fell into place like clockwork. My new doctor was not only VERY supportive and nurturing, but she was also an excellent surgeon... I am now 8 days post-op and doing wonderfully. I think it has a lot to do with my doctor's skill in the operating room.

This is my 2 cents worth on the subject... I don't think I would have been doing so well if I stayed with doctor #1. I think that the "Greater Powers that Be" arrange things for us... to make everything work out okay at the end... I don't think anything happens by accident. If your gut is telling you go find a new doctor, I'd listen.

My very best to you, Denise... I will be sending you good vibes.

Take good care of yourself, Gracie

P.S. Feel free to email me if you need to talk... gaylehood2001@attbi.com

I have to agree with the other posts. You have to feel comfortable with your doctor before a major surgery like this. There is no way that you would have to undergo tests again, you only have to sign to have your records released. When I called my doctor to schedule (I've been holding out for 2 years), they were ready to shedule for the next week because they know me and my pain - it was me who needed extra time to let it sink in. I'm sure there are many good groups in your area who have a better bed side manner. Believe me, after 7 months in a hospital, you want that. Hope things get better for you.

I would find another doctor, too. Knowing your doc cares is very important! Not everyone was meant to be in that profession - or aren't in it for the right reasons! Shame on that doctor!!!

I went to a new doc - didn't have to repeat ANY tests - signed forms to release all to new gyn & she took the ball & ran! If she had questions, she called the people who did the testing so there would be no misunderstanding in info.

In my opinion, confidence in your doc is the most important thing! It may not take long to get scheduled for surgery, either. I was scheduled within 1 1/2 weeks. Yikes!

Wishing you the best in resolving this issue. You'll be in my thoughts & prayers.

Take care,
Mongie