feeling confused and useless

since having a lavh on 7-12-04 I have felt guilty, useless and confused. I am tryijng to enjoy this recovery since it is a good reason not to do much of anything around the house. I have 6 kids ages 2 yrs.- 18 yrs. 1 girl 5 boys.
Will I be feeling this way for very long? I feel like running away so that I don't see what I cannot do and know needs to be done. I have a wonderful husband but as far as a comforter, he doesn't communicate very well and I feel like he should "know" what is going on with me.
Please give me some advice to save my relationship with kids and husband as I go on this recovery journey.

Thanks

Dimp

You sound like you could use a hug! Take a deep breath. You can make it. I haven't had my surgery yet, but I have had to deal with serious illness before with young children and a husband who was gone on a military deployment.
I can relate to the guilty complex. My husband is gone right now. He gets home Saturday night and I go in for surgery on Monday. I want the house clean, but the dryer broke and the new one won't get here until Sunday so the laundry room is a disaster area. I need to go grocery shopping, but I am cramping and bleeding. The lawn needs mowing, too, but our son (who does the mowing) is out of town at his grandparents.
But, you know what? The world still keeps revolving. My family needs me to be healthy. Yours needs you to be healty, too. Let them know that you wish you could do more, but you just can't right now. Your kids are old enough to help out. Your husband can't know how you feel unless you tell him. Talk to him about your feelings. As wives and mothers, we tend to be the caretakers. It's hard for us to switch roles and let them take care of us. We also tend to want things to be "just so" and our husbands and kids rarely do things just the way we want them. The rest of the family is usually satisfied with less than perfect. Try not to fret. Relax and let yourself heal. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Call a friend. Ask if your younger kids can play at a friends house. Ask your hubby to take the kids out for a while so you can get some much needed sleep. Ignore the dust bunnies. Ask the family to help and be willing to accept the results. You have a far more important job right now--getting well.
Hugs and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Pamper yourself!!!

Wow! It sounds like you have your hands full. Your husband is a man. He probably feels that he is doing all he can by going to work. That is his way of being supportive. Why not go to him and say, " honey, I respect you for all that you have done and sacrificed for our family." "I could really use a shoulder to cry on; just for you to listen." And then tell him how you feel. I am in no way getting on to you but think about your pregnancies and when you would tell him about the babies. They were real to you from the moment you knew you conceived but to him they probably were not until much later. He doesn't have a uterus how could he know how you feel? Plus, he's a man, they don't communicate the way we women do. So, though he probably feels sympathy and concern for you; he does not know how to show it to you in a way that you know he understands. He probably is showing you but just in ways that guys would immediately understand. As for your children, you have spent their whole lives taking care of them. Let them help you and show their love for you by caring for you. Let them feel useful. Tell them you need them. !Hugs! Please, don't take this negatively. I hope this helps you.