Emotions after surgery...

I'm starting to feel like such a nuisance! I have a wonderful boyfriend who is waiting on me hand and foot and I appreciate everything he does so much. But I can't help but to feel helpless. I'm starting to do things on my own, but when I do he cuts in. He doesn't let me bend over to pick anything up. Won't let me lift a 2 litre bottle because he doesn't feel I should be lifting anything that heavy. I just don't want him to over do it and then feel over whelmed. I don't know how much I can do, and I don't want to over do it but I don't want to be a bother to everyone either. I'm used to doing all the house work! I'm not used to sitting there and watching him do it....it makes me feel horrible!

relax and take it easy...we ALL want to do it. but this is YOUR time to take care of yourself. being careful now will hopefully prevent any relapses. You are wonderfully lucky that your bf is being helpful. I made six weeks yesterday and I'm still afraid to lift anything heavy. My poor doggie didn't get picked up until this weekend...and he is only 18 pounds.

You ARE just 1 week post-op... be grateful for the help! I know you are but I just had to say it.

At one week it still hurt to move - but my help was sparse so I had to - and I thought about everything before I did it. However, you need to SLOWLY ease into doing things - one new activity a day worked well for me - so maybe make an agreement with him on that - and that you will do the activity the first time when he's there.

HTH

It still hurts for me to move. Especially getting up and sitting down. I'm just not used to sitting around while someone else cleans house. It's just not me and I didn't really think it'd bother me this much but I'm going insane.
I am very very very grateful for the help! I know I'm lucky that he's helping me, and I know how wonderful he is. I just don't want to become his nuisance.
Oh I'm sorry for complaining! I'm just in a blah mood today!

I, too, had a hard time being the receiver and not the giver- (even though my DH does more than his fair share normally and treating me like a queen is his usual M.O.)
I felt guilty about being the center of attention. It's much more comfortable for me to be the one who provides than to sit back and take. I felt bad about not being able to contribute.
BUT...
Let me say this- The best gift you can give to that wonderful boyfriend or anyone else who cares for you is to heal the way you are supposed to heal. That means NO bending, straining, or lifting.
That includes no packing of bags for a guilt trip.
Your loved ones are counting on you to take your pampering like a princess!
Be brave and let go (I know it's hard) to let yourself heal!

Think of the poor princesses who don't have anyone to help them and don't throw your blessings away from guilt.
Here's a big

As a busy mother and grandmother, I fully understand feeling bad seing someone else do "your jobs" however right now it is necessary.

Around here it bothers me a ton, so I have decided that when someone is cleaning or cooking, I will retire to my bedroom for my shower or movie time. This has helped tons! The housework gets done, the meals cooked, and I don't feel guilty for someone else doing the work. Another bonus is that if I am in the other room with the door closed I can't put my nosy 2 cents in. This prevents my DH and DD's from feeling like they can't please me.


Just remember to take it slowly, and lift nothing heavier than a gallon of milk until the doctor tells you it is ok.

lots of love,

hi there, I am 7 weeks and I know its hard to sit and watch someone do "what you used to do",,,,,,,,,,,,,,but do it. After about 2 to 3 weeks you will be allowed to do "light" stuff which should make you feel better.

You don't want to do anything that will require "repair" surgery later.

Let him pamper you for the first couple of weeks until the doctor tells you can do light duty stuff............before you know it, you will be given the all clear............but still no super hero stuff.

I am still taking things slowly, like weeding my flower beds, I do a little then stop for awhile..........the do more later............it will get done in time.................just relax, breathe and enjoy.

I pray for your continued recovery.

I can't stand to ask for help too. After one week, I had to use the vac......way too much cat hair.....I couldn't stand it. I've also been doing things like dishes, watering the yard, bending over to feed the cats and I trimed a bush in the yard the other day too. I'm still trying to take it slow.....but when you start to feel better.....it's very easy to start doing things that you shouldn't. I go to the Dr Friday....I'll see what she has to say.
Kat

Oh girl I understand. I am the control freak in my house and usually do everything. I take care of the husband and the four kids. But I too am having a difficult time letting go and allowing others to do for me. I do it because I want to heal but it isn't easy. I have broken down in tears twice already because I feel so out of control. I also feel that the surgery has my hormone's on an emotional roller coaster. Because one minute I can be so happy and the next second I am bawling my eyes out. My husband is not quite as supportive and helpful as your boyfriend but still I am a little oversensitive right now. From what I hear this is all very normal! But feel free to vent when you need! We are all here for you!!!!
Melissa 34 years old
LAVH & RSO due to VERY large uterus with adenomyosis and 3 cysts on right ovary. Many years of heavy and painful periods all gone!

My advice is . . . ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS! If he has had enough, he'll let you know.