Co-Workers want to visit ... YIKES!

I have several friends from work who have said they want to come to my house to visit me. While I appreciate the fact that I have such lovely friends and that they miss me ... I don't want them to come to my house! First of all... I'm only one week out so I kinda feel like crap. I wear PJ's every day, no make up, hair gets washed every other day. My houses hasn't been cleaned properly since about a week before my surgery. I feel bad asking DH to do it -- he is doing SO much already. Not to mention the fact that I have an air mattress in my family room because I've been sleeping down here mostly because my sleep schedule is "off" at this point and I don't want to disturb DH's sleep. My home is in NO condition for people to be visiting. I should add none of these people have ever been to my home before. Also, I'm a pretty private person when it comes to work - it's weird to me to have "work friends" come to my house.

How do I gracefully tell my friends I'd rather not have guests? I'd much rather meet them all for lunch maybe in a couple of weeks. I don't want to hurt their feelings - they are REALLY sweet people and I know they mean well but I'd prefer they not come to my house.

Any advice/suggestions would be appreciated!

Do you have dog(s)? YOu could blame it on them. That's what I did. "Thank you so much for offering to stop by & visit, but Makenzie is a jumper and I'm not able to properly control her with my incision and it's probably best you didn't come right now. HOwever, I would love to join you for lunch next week".

I actually have 4 dogs so this excuse worked rather well and no offense was taken... and we're all going to lunch on FRiday

I would just politely tell them just that. That your house is not up for company and that you have so many restrictions that you can not straighten up at this time. Of course they will say that they don't care what your house looks like and that it is ok. Just tell them that you do and that as soon as you feel up to it that you all can make a lunchdate and you can inform them of how your recovery has been, but that they can still call you to see how you are feeling and they can keep in touch that way until you feel better and see them. But watch out for the ones that insist and finally make you agree to have them come over. Stick to your decision and be firm with your decision if not you might end up with company that you don't want and the added stress you don't need.

Hmmm... I DO have a dog .... she's a good girl though and they all know that. Two of the girls that want to come over have big dogs of their own so even if she DID jump on them (which she doesn't) they wouldn't care and/or would know how to handle it. The other girl wants to come on the weekend (ugh) so my DH would be home. It's a good idea though!!

I guess honesty is the best policy. Maybe if I set a specific date for lunch that would work.

Thanks girls!

I would tell them that you're not up to company right now & need a lot of rest. I think it would be different if they were close friends or had been to your house before, but I agree that it's too much in your condition. I'd explain that you're on meds, etc & are dozing on & off constantly & wouldn't be well enough for a visit at this time, but that you'd look forward to meeting them for lunch/coffee etc in a few weeks when you're on your feet & need a short break from being "cooped up" in the house. I would just keep the explanation simple. I wouldn't even mention the house, etc because they can always say they don't mind that, but they can't insist on visiting if you say you're not feeling well.

Good advice Vinky! I often tend to say too much when it's not necessary! I'll let ya'll know how it works out ... none of them have pressed me too hard (so far) for a date but once they do I'll be sure to tell them exactly what you said! And it really is the truth so it won't be hard!

Wontmissit,
If one of your friends just drops in even though you've asked them not to I would try to take it all in stride and not let it bother you. In the scheme of things It doesn't matter if you're in your pjs or your house isn't tidy. You just had surgery!! A frienly visit can still be a breath of fresh air.

I had a co-woreker stop in without calling first. I was in my ps's, hair all messy and she came right up to my bedroom before I could come down stairs. She got to see my cluttered nightstand and my DH's messy side of the bed and everything! I felt weird at first , but then just said the heck with it and we had a nice little visit. With me being in my pjs she was reminded how tired I was and didn't stay long. There are so many things we don't have control over right now. If visiting with your friends doesn't turn out the way you wish just take it in stride and go with the flow...after all isn't that what you've been doing all along anyway?

I was the same way after my surgery and as tough as it was, I was completely honest in just saying I was not up for visitors. My co-workers were very sweet and understanding! Hopefully yours will be the same!

Although your dog is good, a dog can still be an excuse.

I have 2 dogs that are wonderful. But the first couple of weeks they were very protective of me. Anyone came by the house, or even the driveway, they went on high alert.

I did have others home who could step in and control them if needed (it wasn't needed. They obey their commands perfectly usually). But if no one was home, I could not have controlled them if they decided to protect me. Since these people have not been there before, your dog might not recognize they are friends. The dog can read your agitation. I know mine listen to my body language more then my verbal language.

You can also tell them you are dying to get out of the house and have a reason to dress nice. That meeting at a restaurant for a lunch date would help you more then sitting around your house bored. So it seems they are doing you a favor. If you use this right, it can explain why you look "so good" but are not ready to return to work yet.

I think that setting a lunch date out somewhere is a fantastic idea. Great advice there! Just be careful not to make that a set appointment, in case you are not feeling up to showering, primping, and driving there...maybe somewhere close and casual?

I found this thread funny when I saw it because people are having experiences the stellar opposite...that their friends and even parents won't have anything to do with them now, or don't act concerned.

I think it's fabulous you have such caring people around you...but not to say that you should abandon how you feel to entertain them;-)

Grass is always greener, right? Just another one of those vastly different experiences we all have...