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Needing some sister love!!!
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08-23-2008, 07:29 PM
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Guest
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Needing some sister love!!!
Hello Everyone,
I am going to the Castle on Aug. 27th for a dvh/bso. I have a mass that they do not believe is cancer but cannot say for sure until I have the total hysterectomy to remove everything and to test it. I am 47yrs old, and have a Careing devoted Husband, 2 tweenagers and a dog. I am going to have a Onc/Gyn performing the DaVinci surgery...still kinda freaks me out that he will be across the room from where I am, preforming the surgery via the robot. From everything I have read about it it's the way to go, less pain and all. Still........having a robot doing surgery is a little too modern for me.
Well, here I am. I have to say I am lonley and need to talk before the day arrives. I have my Mother to talk to but she takes it on and says she wishes it were her and not me so that I would not have to keeping having so many health problems. I have several health issues...mostly just annoying....nothing life threatening.
Then I have to spend my time picking her back up and I want to be the center of attention because this is not just another surgery. This is a life altering event.
Speaking of life altering, I am having to come to terms that I am in MIDLIFE!! MIDDLE AGED!!! Who me? When? How?
I am having a very hard time turning 47yrs old ( 7-26) and am struggling emotionally with this still. I found out I had a mass while on vacation the week before my birthday. My family Dr. called me to tell me the good news. Sent me to the Gyn confirmed that she thinks it is an 6.6 cm endometrioma on my right ovary along with a 4.3 cm dermoid cyst on top of that, she then sent me to see a Onc/Gyn because my CA125 test came back slightly elevated 67. Both of them do not think it is cancer however since I am having pains and due to my AGE we have agreed to a total hysterectomy.
I have not been wanting to face my age issues and now everytime and everywhere I look it is right in my face. My emotions are kinda of numb right now. The closer I get to the date the more anxeity I am feeling.
I am Mad!!
I am Scared!!
I am Doing the right thing!!
I am needing to vent!!
I am Happy, no more PERIODS!!!!!!!
I am Afraid to loose my ovaries and how I will BEHAVE!!
What if it is cancer??? cant' deal with yet!!!
I am afraid of not having the right coping skills to interact with others. I am a customer service specialist at a leading health insurance company and I work on the phones with medicare members who are constantly mad, rude, sad, lonley and needing help. I am constantly monitored and under alot of stress. Almost everyone around me is in their 20's and getting promotions and moving on with their lives. Here I am knowing now that I will have to face another year at least in this position. I do like the work, but not the time constraints forced upon me.
And now they are taking my ovaries and my emotions are going to be more out of wack for awhile until the magic combination will be found for me!!!!! I am already on antidepressants. I know, get a grip, others have gone thru this and I will be fine..........well right now I am not fine.
I plan to change my way of thinking after this surgery. I plan to look at this as a new journey in self discovery that will take me to higher places spiritualy.
These are just some random thoughts that have been running around in my mind that I need to shine some light on and get a clearer view and perspective!!
Thank you to all my Hystersisters!!
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08-23-2008, 07:56 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 398
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Needing some sister love!!!
It took me a long time to come to terms with my situation. I knew its what I needed but I was so angry that I even had to make this kind of decision at 25 y/o. For about a week now, I have found peace with my decision. All I can tell you is that everyone here has different opinions but the one thing we all have in common is that we will be there for each other. We are here to listen, anytime you need. These ladies have been wonderful to me and have helped me realize that being anxious scared and angry is all part of this. And that I will survive and I will be ok on the other end. They helped me lose focus on my fears, and direct it over to the positive things will come of my surgery. I am an extremely fearful person, and for once in three months I can tell you that even though I am nervous and a little scared I am at peace with my decision, whatever the outcome ( I too am expecting possible cancer news) and I know that no matter what, I will be ok and that I am makng the right decision for me. And you know what? These ladies are here for me as they will be for you, anytime I need. I hope all goes well for you, just remember to trust your instincts over anyone elses. And know that no matter what you are doing what is right for you.
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08-23-2008, 09:00 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 17
Hysterectomy: June 9th, 2008
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Needing some sister love!!!
I plan to look at this as a new journey in self discovery that will take me to higher places spiritualy.
Wow! I like that. Thats exactly where you need to be. I can tell you that I went through the same feelings only for a short time. The surgery came and went and it was the best thing thats ever happened to me. I feel like a new person. I am not perfect yet, but I will be and so will you.
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08-23-2008, 09:41 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 41
Hysterectomy: September 8th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Needing some sister love!!!
I sure do understand the mix of emotions and feelings in facing surgery. I'm on that rollercoaster of being so glad it's going to happen one minute, and afraid the next. I am also coming to terms with getting older and all the changes that come along with it. I'm 48 and can't figure out when that happened! Some days I look in the mirror and I think "when in the world did that wrinkle get there, or good grief, more gray hair", but one day I kind of just said "oh well" and most days I find that I am feeling more myself than I ever have in my life. My sister turned 50 this year and she told me there was something about it that gave her a feeling of freedom.
I'm not expecting any cancer news with my surgery, but when I had my thyroid removed, cancer was expected, though not confirmed until the pathology report. It changed my life. It took me on what you said, "a new journey" that has taken me on to a deeper relationship with my God and a new appreciation for my life. I think you are a wise woman to voice your feelings and find others who will listen and understand. Keep connected. There are so many wonderful, caring women on this site, and I am finding each day I am more grateful for having found it. I'm learning myself that everything I'm feeling is "normal". I'm not weird or flaking out because I waver between excitment one minute and anxiety the next over the surgery.
Make sure you take time to rest before the surgery and do good things for yourself. Plan something for after the surgery that will give you something to look forward to, maybe splurge on a little spa treatment, a massage or a facial even. And keep in touch here. There's nothing more reassuring than a good word from a friend, and I think there are many good words and friends on this site.
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08-23-2008, 09:52 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 508
Hysterectomy: July 10th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Needing some sister love!!!
You have every right to be scared, worried and in panic. That said, I can tell you that the waiting is very hard. In my case the waiting was worse than the TAH/BSO and recovery. At 6 weeks post op If I had to do this again, I would ask for it to be scheduled as quickly as possible just to avoid the wait. I waited until it was good timing 4 months. Worked myself into a panic a few times but the morning of the surgery I was completely at peace and arrived at the castle ready to get this over with.
This site is a blessing so please come, chat whatever you need to do, there is always someone here for you.
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08-23-2008, 10:35 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 5
Hysterectomy: August 20th, 2008
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Feeling the same way.
Good Evening to all my Sisters,
I am 3 days post op from a LAVH uterus removed only. I felt all the same things you mentioned. What I know even so soon after the surgery is that you need to have the spiritual side of your life together first. I am in a struggle because of an addiction I have and worry about taking all this pain medication. I know that having God on myside and a great support system with family and church it will all workout. I am not trying to convert anyone, but I do want to share a verse that God seemed to show me alot over the last 18 months prior to surgery. I wll end with the verse,
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
You are all in my prayers!!!
April
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08-23-2008, 11:10 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 398
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Needing some sister love!!!
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by amcadams
Good Evening to all my Sisters,
I am 3 days post op from a LAVH uterus removed only. I felt all the same things you mentioned. What I know even so soon after the surgery is that you need to have the spiritual side of your life together first. I am in a struggle because of an addiction I have and worry about taking all this pain medication. I know that having God on myside and a great support system with family and church it will all workout. I am not trying to convert anyone, but I do want to share a verse that God seemed to show me alot over the last 18 months prior to surgery. I wll end with the verse,
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
You are all in my prayers!!!
April
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What a beautiful verse, and so appropriate for the circumstance. Thank you for that, I really needed it!
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08-24-2008, 07:30 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 40
Hysterectomy: June 23rd, 2008
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Needing some sister love!!!
This is going to sound silly, but I'm 50 now, and the only time I've ever gotten depressed about getting older was when I turned 20! Lol! (I guess it was a wake-up call, like "Oh, gosh, I've just left my teen years behind! I'm an adult now and have to start behaving responsibly!" ) I remember that my mom had a really good laugh over that one! Age really is just a number, and I'm not just spouting a cliché here. Some days I feel 80, and some days I feel 18 again, or even younger.
I'm not telling you that your feelings are wrong, though, or anything like that. I guess I'm just trying to offer another way of looking at it; but you have every right to feel angry, and scared.
As for the fear of cancer it's definitely understandable. I have and am being treated for ovarian cancer. I have had a few rough spots; especially since I had to be rushed to the hospital and have a second major surgery only two weeks after having a TAH. Plus, I was very, very debilitated and ill before the cancer was found. Still, I'm finding that chemo is quite tolerable so far, and I'm actually having fun with some aspects of it. (When I shaved my head I started decorating it, too!)
Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions your feeling and feel free to come here and talk about it as much as you need to. There are a lot of wonderful women whove been there, and who understand.
One thing that I can tell you is that I found strength in me that I never knew I had. You will, too!
(((((((((((Beingtherenow))))))))))))))))))))
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08-24-2008, 08:13 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 112
Hysterectomy: October 1st, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Needing some sister love!!!
Welcome to the many random thoughts and conflicting feelings running amuck club! (you don't want to be a member, I know!) Thank goodness for this site and all these wonderful women… otherwise I think I would be a basket case! So great that there are others we can voice our feelings with, share experiences and they “get it”. Hopefully it will be helpful for you as you contend with everything. What a time to find everything out. I hope your doctors are right, but I know what it’s like having to wait until they get in there to find out if cancer is involved (((hugs)))…I’ve decided to try not to think about it or do anymore research unless they find something during surgery (difficult, I know!).
Lift changing event – you said it!... however, I agree it offers an excellent opportunity for personal reflection and growth. I can relate to the mother thing – even when I’ve had various health issues or other serious surgery some how she ended up taking away the attention with some drama of her own (sometimes in the guise of her being worried about me) – I deal with it by focusing energies on my own healing and looking towards other means of support rather than being pulled into her “stuff”.
Glad to hear you’ve got a supportive DH…mine is living in fear of what his life without my ovaries will be like…LOL.
Getting older used to frustrate me beyond belief, however I now look at it as a something to be proud of – look at the life wisdom and experience that have been gained over the years...how different your perspective on things becomes over time. Our culture has it all backwards when it comes to youth and age. Although I don’t like the body changes, I’m totally looking forward to the rest of my 40s and eventually 50s (I hear it only gets better, and I think there is something to that).
I know this is a bit of a ramble, but just wanted to offer some support as you struggle with this – you’re not alone.
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08-24-2008, 09:31 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 69
Hysterectomy: August 18th, 2008
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Needing some sister love!!!
I was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer 1 month before I turned 30. My husband and I have only been married for 6 months. We have no children and this is our second marriage for both of us. I agree with what everyone has said thus far on your thread, and currently I am on on day 6 after my surgery. I had an LAVH. A friend of mine had the same surgery you are going to have and she praises it. Keep your spirits up as best as can be. This is definately a journey we are all taking. You have so much to be thankful for. We are here.
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