Family wants to know why I'm not healed yet?

Hi Sisters~

I went to my parents for dinner tonight. I'm 3 1/2 weeks post op TAH w/LSO. I had a 530 gram fibroid removed with my uterus. My family is astonished that I'm not healed yet. They think something is wrong with me since it's taking so long to heal.

My incision became infected a few days ago and I'm on Cipro and it is helping. My incision is a little swollen and red, but the Cipro is doing the job.

Do you have any words of advice I could give them? They really made me feel bad tonight. I really thought I was on target for healing.

Thanks =o)

Seems to me you have to explain that it will take you along time to totally heal . People don't seem to understand that basically you had an organ removed! Would they treat you the same way if it was a kidney that was taken? I had a hard time getting my family to understand too. i had to have my family look at pictures of a hysterectomy online so they could see exactly what I went through.

Hope this helps. Take it easy and let time heal you.
All my prayers for a smooth recovery.

At 3 1/2 weeks, I couldn't have gone to someone else's house for dinner, so in my opinion you're healing ahead of the game!

Although I found it annoying when my family would make comments about me taking so long to heal, I have to admit that I had been just as unaware of how exhausting the healing would be. I shouldn't have been surprised that they expected me to bounce back, since I'd expected that from myself as well.

I don't have any ideas of how to help them realize how long it takes to heal. Getting through the initial recovery period of six to eight weeks doesn't mean you're completely healed. You just keep on pampering yourself until you feel ready to take on more. You are doing just fine

I underestimated my recovery as well. I am not getting out as much as I would like and still have a lot of pain. There is no way I could go to dinner at anyone's home. You are doing great. Take it slow. You only have one chance to heal. I am listening to my body and trying to walk a little and only do light chores.

It doesn't matter what other people think. You know your body more than anyone else and you just had major surgery!

Good luck and happy healing!!

Hi, first I would like to comment on the kidney analogy. Two weeks ago I ran into my business landlord at our sons game. Last summer he had a kidney removed and told me he found getting up and around helped with his recovery. He said the night after his surgery he went to dinner with friends. I was shocked and just laughed and told him I wasn't ready after a month. I think the kidney surgery may be easier to get over!

As far as family, I originally told my family I was going to have a LSH with approximately a 3 week recovery. I ended up with a LAVH so recovery almost doubled with the removal of the cervix. Then UTI for 12 days. Then the doctor telling me I was a slow healer and the cuff isn't healed yet at 7+ weeks. Sometimes things go as planned sometimes they don't. You're still within expected time frame, you're going to have to tell the family you have a lot of healing to do. Maybe they need to hear your stomach was cut open, uncountable nerves and vessels cut, multiple major organs were removed and hundreds of internal stitches. OK maybe thats a bit much. Good luck with your family but do not push yourself yet.

I had the same trouble with some of my family after my hyster. I got so fed up that I printed off articles and posted them on the fridge so they could see them and understand about my recovery. Maybe this will help you also and you can just have them read it. All the info. that you need is right here on this site. Just go up to the top and click on RESOURCES and go down to ARTICLES and click on it and then go to POST-OP HYSTERECTOMY and print out what ever articles that you feel that they should read. This helped me to help them understand what I was going through and what I could and couldn't do. It changed there outlook and they were more understanding after that. Sometimes it helps if they see it on paper rather then hear it from our own mouths. When we just say it sometimes they think, you are just making excuses but when it is on paper for some reason it is more believeable. I am not saying that your family want believe you but mine didn't until they seen it all on paper. Hopefully this will help you because I know personally how frustrating it is not to back to your old self and your family thinks you should be.

My sister who is a nurse practioner in My OBs office explained it to me one day when i was frustrated

	Quote:
Its like getting a battle scar in a war except the knife was twisted and turned inside it takes time to heal ..

this is no time for being macho,,

If you havent gotten the free booklet get it copy pages of it and give it to them
If this doesnt work call your doc have him / her talk to you Darling Hubby
Sweetie you only have one shot to heal take it and do it right Ok ! be that princess dont feel guilty cause you will be in for other surgeries if you push yourself ..
BIG HUGE HUGS and prayers for the nay sayers in your life,,

TaeKwondo Lover- sorry your family is not being very understanding about your healing period. It might help to explain to them that what you had was a MAJOR surgery, and that takes time to heal from. If necessary get graphic, paint a mental picture in their heads. Your body will only heals as fast as it wants to nobaody can truly set a time for that only give average healing times based on the type of surgery involved. Take it easy, and get lots of rest, also try and walk this truly does help speed the healing process. On a side note are you currently in TKD? if so with what organization? We are in the ATA and absolutely love it...I am hoping to get medical release to go back next week; we'll see what my doc has to say thought. Good luck to you!

you are still very early in your recovery most take 6 to 8 weeks ...i agree with the other ladies maybe you need to be more graphic in what you just had done.rest , pamper yourself . no matter what anyone else thinks you did just have major surgery Id say at 3 weeks and going out to dinner you are doing just great.. good luck and be good to yourself.