why dont men listen? (sex mentioned)

I am so mad I dont get why men think that they are superior over the doctor.
well I my DH wanted to have sex and I told him that the doc said wait 10 wks and she wanted to see me before I did anything well he decides that he is going to call the doc and get her to change her mind, well the doc talked to him told him that we can do outercourse not intercourse she explained that as soft touch massage and of course oral sex.
Well he was very angry that he couldnt get her to say well we can have sex. He went to work and he came home he sat with me and asked could we do what the doctor had mentioned I hesitated then agreed but I did not know that he was going to have sex with me anyways!! I am so mad right now I am not having any issues as of yet I am not even 3 weeks post op until friday. I was so mad that I packed up me and my kids and we are at home with my mom till I figure out what should I do.
Its more than obvious that he dont care about my recovery I could have some major complications following this and he goes and do some bull like this. We been together 8 years amd I have never had this problems before this but this really shows how selfish a man can be
well I need advice call doc or see if I have any problems?
I dont know what to do
Tamika

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would definitely call the doctor and ask her. I had a daVinci on 7/12 and my doctor said 8 weeks. (She even said 8 weeks for anything... no orgasm, etc.)

As far as your husband not respecting your recovery, I'm not sure what to say.

I hope everything will be okay.

I'd be furious and there would be one dead man in my house if it were me...

I'm sorry that you have had this experience on top of everything else. You did the right thing in finding a safe place to be. I would see the doc especially if you had your cervix removed and you were penetrated. There could be issues. Again I'm so sorry that you have experienced this.

Cat

Tamika,
Sister, I am so sorry he did this to you. I would definitely go to the doc and let them check and make sure everything is ok. I would rather know, myself, before something was to happen. Because if I waited to see? I am the person who would be freaking out.
You take care and stay where you feel you are going to be respected and safe. And, I will be praying for you.
My husband asked me Monday night how long it would be, and he's being really patient. I totally know how upset and scared and everything else I would be if that happened.
Take care sister. I will be checking on you.

Tamika, i am glad you are at a safe place. Stay as long as you want to and focus on healing - call the Dr and tell them what happened. However, I am just going to put it out there. You need to really think about your situation with your husband. This was way over the top. He has jepaodized your health and well being. No means NO!

Hi Tamika,

I totally agree with justmakinit. He jeopardized your health by deceiving you on your sexual agreement (rape). Really analyze your relationship. If this relationship doesn't last a life time, and you reflect back on this situation, how will you feel about it? You owe it to yourself to protect your body. This situation is really disturbing. Sorry akgardner, whether your comment was figurative or literal, I don't agree with suggesting violence.

I'm not suggesting anything as "dead man" is a common enough figure of speech. (No intent to offend or to "suggest" any course of action.) However in a forceable situation I might have taken a blunt object to the man in self defense, not suggesting, just an accurate prediction.

However since you seem interested in my opinion: I agreed with her leaving that unsafe place and finding shelter with her family and if it were me I'd press charges and kick his *** in a legalistic (non-violent) sort of way but since I am married to a kind and patient man I don't have that issue in front of me and I don't anticipate that I ever will.

Who knows what makes a relationship tick and who knows exactly what happened and the mind set of those involved at the time. None of us can judge the situation accurately and in context except Tamika. Only Tamika can decide what is best for her and her children if she so chooses to do so. Her choice might not be one that you or I would make in the same situation.

Certainly suggesting that she should think about her future and taking care of herself/kids first is a wise course of action and sound advice.

Tamika, best of luck to you in this situation.

Cat

First, I would call the doctor and get checked out...my next call would be to the police. I'm sorry, he maybe your husband, but no man has the right to do to you what he just did. It is called rape...if you said no than that means NO!!!

Good luck honey, and please stay where you and your children are safe.

Tamika, call your doctor. Your husband may have done damage inside. I agree with the poster above. What he did has a name - rape. You were wise to go to your Mom's. Please call the doctor now and let us know what she says.

Tamika, I remember your first post in the pre op section. You were concerned that you did not have a reliable person to pick you up from the hospital. Now this. A husband, with thier many faults, should not be placing you in these kinds of situations. I agree with AKgardener, we dont know the entire picture - but use this time to determine what is best for you and your family.