angry,low,stupid

just under a month from op.phoned my boss today to say ill be back soon.still got 2wks tilpost op check.fed up, angry, frustrated with my body.want to be me again,back in the saddle again!keep pushing myself.fed up with alwys pulling myself up again.3miscaraiges,1eptopic,1hysterectomy,oh and no kids to add to it!and i keep smiling!i just want to keep happy and smiling and living.i am 36 and married to a man who loves me dearly and i have a great managerial job but...i will never be a mother.please forgive me ladies,im giving into my pain.sorry.x

You have every right to feel the way you do! i have a friend who went through threw the "ringer" before Dr told her she had no other option-cancer suspected-she has been a blessing for me in my recovery. She sounds so much like you. I learned a long time ago that its OK to be angry, sad, happy or mad. Its what you do with these feelings. Talk to your DH & others in your life & talk & talk & talk. Its OK-

i thank you with my heart.it is so easy to feel alone,...that you are the only persone in the world to feel this way.give your friend a massive scottish hug from me.i just cannoteven try to put to words the loss and pain i feel.thank god, i have found this web,and support.x

Tashapoppet, here is a great big from me to you! Gardenurse is quite right. We are all entitled to our feelings. And to try and squelch them could cause more emotional problems later. You are so fortunate to have a great dh. He will be your anchor. Talking (whether in person or on a message board) can be very helpful, especially when you are down. Please be kind to yourself. We are all pulling for you!

Ginny

Feelings are always valid. Some Sisters go through mourning, just as if they've had the loss of a family member. It's okay to be angry, sad, etc. Those emotions are perfectly natural.

Lena

I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain right now. You're so early in your recovery, and having all of these other feelings along with the physical discomfort you're having right now can't be helping you any.

Try to be a little easier on yourself. Very few of us are "back to our old selves" at a month post-op. This website is full of posts from other who are right there with you, frustrated, hurting, and wanting to feel better NOW. You're not alone, if that helps any.

As for all of those feelings associated with not being a mother.... as you are experiencing, it is often an incredibly sad event when a woman loses her ability to bear children. There's no doubt about it. We have an entire forum devoted to just such issues called Aching Hearts where you might want to look in and post more about this sadness you're feeling.

For now, please try to allow yourself a chance to heal physically. As for the emotional pain, it's OK to give in to it. Let the tears flow for now. Some day it might be the right time to talk to a counselor and work through those issues, but today, just let the feelings out, or pour them out in a journal if you have one. We're here for you whenever you need us, and the is always on.

tashapoppet - everything you are feeling is normal. I am 37 and just had a tah and I do not have any children either. I had complications when I was in the hospital and when I got home, so I will not let myself even begin to think about the fact that the chances of me having my own children are over. I am not strong enough to deal with that yet. It is a huge, huge loss and no one that has not been there can completly understand. About four years ago, I was told that I would neved have children of my own. Well, I always had that hope that just maybe.... Now there is no hope - everything is gone. There is no "maybe" anymore. It hurts, I am angry, I have grieved and will grieve again when I allow myself too. I can not stand to be around pregnant people (not that it is there fault, it just makes me so sad. Do not harbor your feelings. If you do not let them out, they will consume you!!! I have had people (friends and family) say things to me that they mean to help - you can always adopt, God has another plan for you, everything happens for a reason, etc., etc., etc. This is all true but it does not help the greiving of the loss we are experiencing. Hang in there, out of all of this, the surgery will be the easiest to get over. P.S. there is the forum on this site "Aching Hearts" but I have not been able to go there yet. I will and it will help, just not yet. Tracie.

oh!!!thankyou,thankyou for those words!its so much of a lift for me to know that there ARE women out there going through exactly the same.you are so true,people dont understand and i have found how unwittingly cruel my female friends can be with their 'so called' opinions.i seem to always hear,..oh well,at least thats all your probs over,that i can be my USUAL self again! your words lifted my heart,so much that i did some retail therapy!every time i don my new boots,ill thank you!!!!xxxxx