DOnt think I can do this

Hi

I made my first post yesterday. I was in chat lastnite. The ladies were great!

I am so scared!.....

I dont even have a date set for mine as of yet.

I am scared to get fat......*Sounds silly*

I am scared to have a jelly belly!

I am scared what if i die!

I will blame my self so much we cant have kids *end all and cant even have the least bit of hope to hang on to after this is done*

All i have done is cry since i found out.....I have been hiding it so well around family...

How do you cope? IS this normal? Or am i not coping well at all?

Thanks

Jaye

But insdie my heart is breaking

Hi Jaye;

You didn't tell us why you were having the surgery...have you gotten a second opinion? With that said, I think all of us were scared and hoping we were doing the right thing.

I am 3 weeks post op. I will tell you that the surgery and first few days were a lot more than I had anticipated. HOWEVER, I'm sure I underestimated what a major surgery this is...I thought because I was in good shape prior to the surgery and that my symptoms weren't as bad as most ladies I would breeze through it. The one thing I've learned from reading these boards is that we all react and HEAL differently. You must come to accept this.

I will tell you this. I had numerous fibroids which had grown into one big one the size of a large cantalope. My periods were so heavy that I had to call in sick to work the first two days of my periods. I could not plan trips during my periods. My periods ran my life. I am soooo happy I had the surgery done and will not have to deal with it anymore. I'm on HRT and a positive is that my boobs have gotten bigger. The surgery taking out the cantalope has made my stomach smaller. Not a bad deal - even with swelly belly - and swelly belly will eventually go away.

My advice to you is to continue to read the posts on this board and see how happy most of the women are they've had this surgery and how it has been a postive in their lives. Good luck.

Kathy

I read your other post and I have to say that I have felt SOOOOO much better since they removed my offending parts! And I didn't even know before seeing my DR that the 7.5cm cyst was there or how much trouble it was causing because it came on gradually and I got used to it.

Have you discussed with your husband the feelings you have about being childless? I hope he is understanding and can help you feel more peace about this. In our marriage, it is US. We accepted that WE were in this together, whatever happened to us in our lives, we would get through it together, each supporting and helping the other as we move along on our journey. That has worked now for 30 years! You may be surprised that your DH just wants you to be well and able to enjoy life. Please talk to him about how worried you are and how bad you feel.

The things you say are wrong lead me to believe that even without the surgery there is very little hope for having any biological children. Perhaps adoption would be a viable alternative. In any case, there seems to be more than enough good reasons to go ahead with the surgery, since it would relieve so much pain and suffering you are dealing with because of the problems going on inside you.

Your worries sound very normal. I cried alot, too. I was very scared of dying. . But, as you see, here I am! The truth is, medicine has made great strides in recent years and it is an extremely remote possibility. So, put it out of your mind if you can. Look instead, toward the better life, free of pain, that awaits you.

Please visit the Aching Hearts Forum, too. I know you will find many very understanding women there who have had to face the loss of their ability to bear children, too. I think they can help you, as well.

I haven't had my surgery yet either, but I'm scheduled for a tvh on June 20th. I have several fibroids that are growing quickly. Like LA's finest, I was curious...you didn't say why you needed the surgery. No matter, I know you're scared and I understand. I feel the same way. This website helps so much though. I think the biggest thing is to listen to your dr. and make sure he/she is someone that you totally trust. Get a second opinion if you need to. Hang in there! We're all in this together!

Aw... Hi, Jaye.

I've lived (if you can call it living) with fibroids and anemia and low energy for a long time. My op is scheduled for 6/20. I've had some anxieties about it and was happy to find this site last week.

My greatest concern has been the (what if I die?) one. It's statistically very unlikely and I'm going to ask my doctor questions until I feel all right about it.

My husband and I never had kids, by choice, but you always second-guess that choice when the reality comes along that it won't be an option after all. All I can say about that is, my husband and I decided a long time ago that the two of us together ARE a family, not two people waiting to HAVE a family. I agree with the poster who said that he really just wants you to be all right. And I'm sure you will be.

I think we'll all be glad when it's behind us - anticipation is the worst part!

Thank you!

My first post explains why i need this done....

I will bring it to the top.....Call me being lazy

Jaye

hey Jaye,

my surgery is scheduled for the 28th of May and I'am really scared , the nerves have really been setting in the last couple of days. One of my main concerns if the (what if if die) one? i would really like to know what the actual odds are if anyone know???
Everybody keeps telling me how much better I will feel, and I really don't feel that bad now except for the Approxiately 6 month like preganancy that I carry around!!!! nervous and anxious with 5 days to go


hugs to all all
Santiago

A hysterectomy should always be done only as a last resort. Otherwise, if things don't go as planned you will always wonder "what if?". Research all you can before your surgery and check out your options. Remember, those women who had a hysterectomy and tell you how much better you'll feel are speaking of their own experience. Most hysterectomies have good, positive results, but you have to go into this with your eyes wide open. Get a second and even a third opinion if necessary.

I wish you all the best with your decision,

Jaye,

First, it is normal to question. It is really good to explore your feelings before the surgery ... that is how we demonstrate that we are coping well. Facing your fears is good.

I really also recommend running a "pro and con" list for your hysterectomy.

I had a couple of setbacks since my hyst but they were easily fixed. I don't regret having the hyst. When, I had my setbacks ... I made myself revisit that old pro and con list and reminded myself that things are really much better on the other side.

Personal experience: lost 20 pounds and I was only slightly overweight according to my BMI before the hyst. Even during setbacks, not in as much pain as before hyst. Mood is greatly improved. Sex life is greatly improved. Life in general is great.

Do all the research you can, make an informed decision and you will be just fine.