Crying 24-7

I am a week and a day from my surgery...all I do is cry. I wrote a book on this forum earlier, but, something happened and it wasn't posted. So, this is the short end of the story.

I am 32, never had a child. I am scared, angry, hate everyone, and cry all of the time. I have cried continuously since the Doc told me that I had to have this stupid hysterectomy one and a half weeks ago.

I have the incredible support of my partner. She is the one that made me go to this site. She has been gathering info. for 2 weeks now and finally got me on here.

It is the anger that I will never have the option of children after this. We thought that we would have more time to decide.

I am also angry that everyone keeps telling me that it will be ok and that they are jealous. Jealous of feeling empty? How dare they?

Will the anger and crying stop?

My thoughts and prayers are with those having their surgeries this week! Good luck! I am right behind you!

btredtrk

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are lucky to have your partner.

Why is your surgery scheduled so fast? Is a second opinion possible?

There are lots of ladies here to offer you support and comfort and a shoulder. There is another board called Aching Hearts. You may want to post a message there also.

btredtkr,

I don't have any answers for you-- but this board might help you find a little solace, or at least a safe place to vent.

I also have the support of a wonderful woman, and while children were never an issue for us, I can understand your anger at having that decision taken away from you.

You didn't say why you're having your hyst or if alternative treatment is a possibility. I have a pre-cancerous condition, and a family history of uterine cancer so I've decided not to risk it.

Take it as it comes, and if it helps, check in here at hystersisters often. It really has helped me.

Chris

btredtrk,

Please don't apologize for venting here. That's what we are here for.

Where is the justice? Some girls who are begging for hysterectomies are fighting with their insurance companies, who insist on alternate therapy first. Here you are, not ready for the commitment of surgery and rushed into it, and made to feel like the decision is out of your hands.

Have you seen more than one doctor? If your insurance allows, please see if there is another dr. who may have other options for you.

You are very lucky to have such a supportive partner, who even found this site for you! Hang on to her.

Please read all the drop down menus, browse through old posts that are of interest, then post any questions you have. The sisters here are wonderful. No question is too trivial, too personal or off limits. The site overflows with love and concern. Please let us know how you are doing.

Nancy

Hello and welcome.

You have been hit with alot of unpleasant news all at once. I am so sorry. It is alot to deal with. It is very normal to feel angry and sad and scared all at once.

I am glad you decided to post because we are here for you to offer support, encouragement and sometimes very helpful suggestions.

I think Mary Lou's suggestion of a second opinon is a good one. Naturally we don't know everything about your situation but a second or even third opinion can never hurt. And sometimes it helps.

You might also want to check out the Options and Alternatives forum. here is the link:
https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/for....php?forumid=4

Please keep reading and posting. Knowledge is power and brings some peace of mind too.

Thank you very much for your support. No second opinion needed. I have had problems for years. I have had part of one ovary removed already, plus severe endometriosis. I have horrible bleeding and have had reoccuring cysts.I am pain always. Have had other procedures and thought that I would just have the ablation someday.

My doctor is the chief of gynocolgy at my hospital. He has never been surgery hungry. He even had me go for a colonoscopy to rule out other reasons for the pain. Which was good because they removed a polyp and told me that I would have to watch that area later on. That was a year ago...he tried the BC pills, hated those and they didn't help. They just helped me to not have a period for 4 months. He then said we would do the ablation...I kept putting it off while we were deciding on children. The pain kept getting worse until I could hardly walk. My partner made me finally call and they got me in towards the end of my last period. He said that the ablation would be just like a cortizone shot...just avoiding and masking the problem. My problems have gotten worse since I saw him a year ago. He is afraid of the cancer thing...he also said that I would have had a hard time getting pregnant, and if I was able to, it would have been really rough.

My mother also had problems...so it runs in the family.

I am ovulating right now, and I am in so much pain with that. I won't miss the pain, but, I will miss feeling like a whole woman.
Is this normal?

Thank you for your acknowledgement and support.

Everything you feel is normal right now.
Our emotions run every single gamut and it is all normal and all okay. There is nothing you will feel or share here than some of us haven't gone through too.

I know at first it seems as if we will not be a whole woman or possibly still feel like a woman in the same way. But you will. All of the things that go into making you a wonderful woman (which I am sure you are) will still be there. Like your your mind, your soul, your joy, your memories, your dreams, your compassion. Shall I go on?

Would you think your partner was less of a woman if she was losing a part or two? I think not.

You will feel in every way like a woman again. Maybe more so as you will be free to enjoy all the aspects of life again without pain and discomfort. It is so freeing! It is great to just enjoy life without having to plan around period's and pain all the time.

Life will be good again. And even though there is loss, which I do not mean to diminish in any way, aren't we fortunate to live in a time where help is available to us.

We are here for you.

Welcome and a big

I am so sorry that you feel bad. Many women having a hyst feel as you do before surgery. Surgery is a big deal and it is scary. There are very few women who go through this without some sense of loss and fear.

Most of us feel better with time. You will heal -- but healing can take longer than the 6-8 weeks the doctors talk about -- you will feel much better by then, but healing continues for some while.

We're here to cry with you. Keep us posted as your surgery date approaches

Dorrie

I understand completely your sense of loss. I had been trying to get pregnant for 14 years when my "DH" of 17 years had a classic midlife crisis and left me. Here I was, 40 and alone -- my last chance to have a family gone. Even if I'd found someone else almost immediately, my chances of being able to conceive weren't too good.

Six years later I'm in law school and having the hysterectomy I should have had 8 years ago instead of a myomectomy I did have.

Unfortunately thousands of women like us will never have the opportunity to have children and it hits me particularly hard at Mothers Day and Christmas. Have you and your partner considered adoption?

Hang in there. It's natural to grieve. It will take you a while to get over your sense of loss but it will eventually get easier. I promise.