family members don't agree

In your post, you said your DH had been waiting for this for 3 years. So you have had symptoms for at least 3 years, yes? Maybe the best thing to say to your sis and dad is, you've been working for an answer to your problems for over 3 years, and this is your last alternative? It surely doesn't sound like you just jumped into this to me. As long as you are sure in your decision, in the end it is going to be yours.

theo, if your endo pain is anything like mine, then just tell your family that they have no say in the matter, that you're doing this so that you have some quality of life, and that you don't want to spend the next 15-20 years chained to pain pills and having to stay in bed or on the couch because it hurts too much to move.

I for one can't wait until my surgery, because it'll be a whole new life for me. I know it won't be perfect, and there might be some residual pain after, but it can't be any worse than it is now.

I did want more children, but I'm still ok with this. We're planning to adopt, and we were going to anyway. I'd just much rather be a whole healthy person, because i'm tired of feeling like i'm needy and dragging everyone else down with my pain.

I had a blunt discussion with one of my older sisters after she started in on me. It seemed like an attack from left field, but after I fired off a e-mail, blunt and to the point about exactly what I go through every time the crimson wave hits. We realized that I hadn't ever explained in detail and she had never asked, both of us were basing assumptions on a lack of information. I was thinking how could she just think it wasn't a big deal, and she was thinking how bad could it be. Sometimes editing the info. so they won't worry about you doesn't help anyone, and causes misunderstandings. Sometimes ya gotta go and giv'em a mental picture to relate to.

Thank you to everyone who gave so much positive feedback. I will be strong in my decision - and still, my oldest sister tells me that I'm wrong.

I know that my decision is solid...but darned the forces that wish it wasn't so. As many of you have said...walk a year in my pain, and you will know what I suffer.

It looks like the first time I can have surgery is Feb 17. Now, my grandmother is dying and my mother has an aneurysm - I'm thinking about trying to be with either one of them while I wait for surgery.

But, I am also cheating the system.. I'm on disability for me - but if I take a week to be with either family member and not tell anyone...then, I am lying.

Can someone help me justify what's going on in my life? I know that my hyst is the big problem with my family - but I also want to be with them while I can.

Advice? Thanks.

Theo wrote:
"I'm thirty-five and independent...how can I take this experience and make it positive for them?

Theo...this is your decision and your body/health that's being affected. If you truly feel in your heart that this is right for you, then go forward and be strong. You do not need to make this a positive experience for them, you need to make it a positive experience for YOU. That's who is hurting. I too, had trouble making this decision. Yes, it is a life altering decision, not to be taken lightly...but, in the long run YOU have to be happy with this decision. Sounds like DH supports you completely, so if this is something that you both can live with, then proceed to rid yourself of the pain you've been suffering with for so long. The positive experience for the rest of the family, will be when they see how much happier you are when you're not living in pain. I pray things will go smoothly from here on out! But, realize that sometimes although they mean well...you just have to listen to yourself and the answers from Above, rather than listening to those who mean well but have yet to step in your shoes! Hugs and Prayers sent your way! Sour Mug Angel