post op help?

I have 2 weeks to go and am just getting nervous now....I'm moving 4 days before surgery with my 10 year old (silly monogamous me discovered my partner is cheating) so the timing is lousy. My family lives way out of town and while I have friends to help, I'll essentially be alone when I return. Do I REALLY need help 24/7 when I get home? I'm very stubborn and determined to be independent but realistically wonder if I'll be okay. I'll have my son half time and have a lot of support with him....thoughts? Thanks!

darn it! i just lost what i had written you. here i go again...

terribly sorry to hear about mr. infidelity. i had one of those guys about two years ago. it's awful. i'm just thankful i'm not with him now. he'd have been no help. on the brighter side, there's a better guy out there when you're ready.

i get really b--chy when i have to rely on someone else for too much so i am trying to develop strategies for a somewhat independent recovery.

also i have read good advice for ladies alone on this site....

you can buy microwave meals or freeze meals beforehand to keep you from cooking. don't stress over the dishes.

i am buying a chair for in the shower. i won't worry about falling or fatiguing.

you can use a chair turn around as support getting in and out of bed or for scooting around the house. they sell a rope like device called ABNOSTRAIN here at hystersisters to attach to the bed or couch to help pull yourself up/lower yourself with arms instead of abs.

lots of stuff i won't figure out until i'm home. i think for the first few days back from the hospital it's a great idea to have someone around so you can figure out your own coping strategies depending on how you are doing. is there anyone for just a few days? or even a different person for each of those days?

your ten yr old is big enough to help out and would probably want to with some stuff.

it's very important not to overdo it. you need time to heal. don't worry about the place getting messy or finishing setting up your new place. don't vacuum!

i'm so sorry you are in a tough situation with surgery coming up. please know our thoughts are with you.

peace and wellness are soon to be yours.

I can only rely on my personal experience, but 3 yrs ago I had a LOR and lrg cyst removed. I had someone stay with me the first night. I will tell you I had a very hard time, vomiting and in extreme pain the first night. I had friends bring food every other day for 2 weeks and that helped me tremendously. I did pretty well until I got a very bad infection. I think if you prepared meals in advance or could get help from a local church or meals on wheels, you might be okay. I didn't have any children to try to care for - just a dog and 2 cats and there were times I had trouble with that. I think you need to remember that you cannot vacuum or clean house. You shouldn't be doing laundry or lifting anything for quite a while. Take advantage of the help you will have. Maybe someone could stay with you for the first few days at least. Don't try to be too strong and independent - it could make your healing time much longer. Good luck - I hope you find some help!

Diana

I am married and still did NOT receive help. It can be done, trust me. I have 3 daughters, 19 months, 4 and 6, and NO help from DH, so I had NO choice but to take care of them. I did it and you can too, trust me. Be careful and you'll be fine.

You didn't say how long you plan to be in the hospital, but that makes a big difference. I was in the hospital for 4 days, got out on Sunday, and only needed help moving a chair so I could sleep in that for a day or so. Otherwise I have been alone here at home, and there has been no problem. Yes, it's nice to have someone to fetch and carry, but if there is no one there, you get up slowly and get what you need yourself. I feel fine, just sore, and I have vicadin if I need it. After a walk around the block VERY SLOWLY my incision was quite sore, but you just say that these things have to be done and then you do them. My doctor said that I will know when I over-did it, and she was right. The walk was a bit much, but I do feel so much better without the bleeding and pain that I had before surgery, that I took a walk as a celebration(then I took a 3 hour nap!)