I hate this...I want my life back...

I am so tired of being so weak, my body is still draining that infection (thank God) but I cannot stand the smell of it, I have no life because I am scared the dressing will leak(and it does) and everyone else in the world seems to be going on in life without me. Yesterday I opened the balcony door just to smell outside air. I feel like a prisioner and I hate it.

I am trying so hard to be positive but I am so angry and so scared that I am leaking such a foul smelling odour. The doctors all say this is normal. I understand that but when is the draining going to stop? My last day of anti-biotics was Sunday, it's now Tuesday. I have had no fever for2 1/2 days now. I just want this over with. I miss my life.

Hang in there! Remember you are not alone. We all have been "prisoners" since our surgery. Heck, I can't drive for another 6weeks.. just rememeber we are here for you!! I miss my life too, but I am going to enjoy my life so much more without all of the pain I was in before surgery - stay strong!

CranberryMuffin.....((HUGS))! I have been in your mind set, and so I know how you feel. I had a long recovery and didn't get released from my Dr. for 6 months. First I had a infection that landed me back in the hospital for 3 days with IV antibiotics and anti-infective. Then the bleeding lasted for 8 1/2 weeks, then I had to go back into surgery at 16 weeks post op to have a vaginal cuff granuloma removed, then bled for another 6 weeks after that, then cauterized at around 20 weeks, then finally released at 23 weeks. I had your feeling of just wanting to go back to my pre-surgery days and just hemorrage every month until emergency hysterectomy was needed. I was so down and so depressed! But I can tell you, now that it is all said and done and my life is back to before the surgery minus the hemorraging....life is wonderful! Just hang in there...IT DOES GET BETTER! I always went around saying "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" as I was beginning to fall apart and didn't think I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel! It does get better! :-)

SOrry you are feeling so down Cranberrymuffin! You've had it rough.... Can you go for a drive just to change the scenery? Wish I could give you a hug! It should be getting better from here on out - but the waiting is hard. Just remember your sisters care.....

s and

How frustrated you must feel ! Please call your doctor to find out how long you can expect the drainage to last. Hopefully this will be the last setback you'll have in your recovery.

in there - there's at the end of this tunnel!


Wendy

	Quote:
Originally Posted by CranberryMuffin I am so tired of being so weak, my body is still draining that infection (thank God) but I cannot stand the smell of it, I have no life because I am scared the dressing will leak(and it does) and everyone else in the world seems to be going on in life without me. Yesterday I opened the balcony door just to smell outside air. I feel like a prisioner and I hate it. I am trying so hard to be positive but I am so angry and so scared that I am leaking such a foul smelling odour. The doctors all say this is normal. I understand that but when is the draining going to stop? My last day of anti-biotics was Sunday, it's now Tuesday. I have had no fever for2 1/2 days now. I just want this over with. I miss my life.

CranberryMuffin,

I am thinking of you and sending hugs your way.

I have been where you are...actually hoping that we are nearing the end. I had a second surgery to remove an abscess and sent home with an open incision. I have had that foul drainage, and because of another abscess, I still have drainage issues, but not as pungent as 4 weeks ago. As far as the incision drainage...my incision was surgically closed 2 weeks after the surgery. I am now 7 weeks post op that surgery, and there is still some seepage. Nothing horrible, but enough to let me know that I am still recovering.

And, I had been housebound since my last hospital stay.(I came home 1/20 and actually got the go ahead to go out into the real world this past weekend.) My friends and family have been great. They make sure that they call, email, visit---as long as they are not sick!!!!, and they let me know that I can call them anytime...and I have. It does get lonely and very frustrating because you feel like you should be better by now. But, as one of my dearest friends pounded into my head, you have a family and you need to take care of yourself for them. And my mom's tidbit was the Serenity Prayer...anytime things get tough for her (she has stage IIIB lung cancer) she repeats this prayer over and over...anyway, it is in my purse now and in my car.

Please know that it does get better, and chalk up today as a not so good day. Talk to your doc to get more information...mine has set up weekly appts just so that we can touch base on any new or old concerns. I think that it helps to know that I have that communication to look forward to, plus just knowing that she wants me to call if I or my husband have any questions.

We'll celebrate together when we both are able to get our lives back! <oops - no e-mail address please for privacy>

((((Hugs)))) to you, sweetie! I had a long recovery, too, but not with all the drainage problems you seem to be having. My best advice is to hang on your doctor's every word, and be sure to celebrate every teeny step of improvement along the way! Also, keep in mind that we both had the misfortune of needing surgery at the dreariest time of the year -- makes everything seem even worse. I suspect that you'll begin to bounce back as Spring approaches. Many friends told me that I would see lots of improvement about 5 -1/2 weeks out from surgery, and that turned out to be true -- hope it is for you too!

"I hate this - I want my life back"
I am feeling that way today too! I'm 5 weeks post op - had an infection and got hooked up to a wound vac which I have to carry with me everywhere. My tummy is raw where the tape is to hold the thing in place. And it's Valentine's Day - my favorite holiday! I'm so ready to feel normal again. Plus I cry at the drop of a hat which wasn't like me before. I'm believing you guys that are saying it will get better - I hope it's soon!!