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Upcoming surgery 9/20: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
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09-02-2016, 01:23 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: June 1st, 2016
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
I didn't feel the need to broadcast my surgery on FB. However, for anyone who needed to know (co-workers, etc.), I said I was having a hysterectomy. I'm not sure why that should be any more of a big deal to people than hearing that I'm having an appendectomy or tonsillectomy.
I guess I felt a bit annoyed (I don't mean at you, I mean at society in general) at the suggestion that it should be an embarrassing secret or something, just because it's a medical issue specific to women. Yes, I'm getting too old to worry about smiling and people-pleasing every minute of my day - can you tell?
It really depended on the person and the circumstance, but I either said surgery if it was someone I barely knew or hysterectomy to others. Most mature adults know what that is and probably won't pry further, unless they're a close friend and are asking only because they care.
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09-02-2016, 02:17 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 4,029
Hysterectomy: June 5th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
For me, it wasn't a matter of being embarrassed about the type of surgery. I see many people have drawn the conclusion that that's why some of us didn't want to tell people. For me, and maybe some others, the type of surgery had nothing to do with my decision. I wouldn't have told any more people if it was an appendectomy, knee replacement etc, I just didn't want to hear any horror stories, be given "helpful" advice etc. I was also extremely nervous, and didn't want to talk about it. And I hate to be hovered over, worried about or felt sorry for. And there was no need for everyone in the world to know my personal medical history! I really don't think that for many of us it is a matter of being embarrassed that it is a hysterectomy.
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09-02-2016, 02:29 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: June 1st, 2016
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
I was actually surprised that nobody I knew said they'd had a hysterectomy. I'd sort of expected "my sister had that done a year ago" or "my aunt....". But that may be because, as you said, it was about being private, not necessarily embarrassed. And oh man, we definitely don't need horror stories! I came up with enough of those in my own imagination without any help from anybody.
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09-02-2016, 02:41 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 72
Hysterectomy: March 2nd, 2016
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
Simply say that you are having an invasive procedure and that you'd rather keep it private. That usually shuts people up.
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09-02-2016, 02:45 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: June 1st, 2016
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
VAtoNC, ooh, I like your style. :-)
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09-02-2016, 03:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 72
Hysterectomy: March 2nd, 2016
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
Thanks! I don't have time for other people's gossip.
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09-02-2016, 03:12 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 15
Hysterectomy: June 1st, 2016
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
It's taken me a long time to get here, but at 57 years of age, I'm finally starting to get a bit of a backbone and stop worrying about what other people think ALL the time. You are absolutely right! Gossip can be so ridiculous and so hurtful.
My hysterectomy was yet another lesson about what matters in life. It wasn't fun, but I learned a lot and I don't want to forget any of it.
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09-02-2016, 08:00 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 89
Hysterectomy: August 22nd, 2016
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
I'm 38. I have very strict privacy settings and only people I know well as friends. Most of my friends are religious. I was diagnosed with AIS (pre cancer), so I posted asking for prayers when that started. Sharing that I was having a hysterectomy, and my negative pathology results was just an extension of that.
At work, I told my boss at every step. I told the female members of my work group as I was doing biopsies and discovered they had similar (but different) issues in their pasts (no hysterectomies). When it was surgery, I told the last couple of people "I'm having surgery"... I'm sure the male who asked what kind wishes he hadn't!
For my dog training group, I confused them by saying I was having surgery and couldn't run for 6 weeks but then didn't have ankle surgery! (I have a chronic ankle issue that will one day also need surgery.) so I just said what happened. I did request they not discuss it with people outside our work group or with patients (I work in the medical field).
Overall, to me, it's not a big deal. I don't mind talking about it or the why. I had a LOT of people tell me they had one, but the only other thing mentioned was how great it will be to not have periods! (No advice givers)
I am still working on what to tell patients - as I know they will be nosey. I'm not good at veiled replies, so they will probably get the truth...
Best of luck figuring out what works for you
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09-06-2016, 03:01 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 6
Hysterectomy: August 10th, 2016
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Upcoming surgery 9/20: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
Hi Ladies
I guess I'm an open book type person. I prefer to tell you then you acting like Inspector Gadget!
My exact words are I'm going to have my baby carriage removed. End of conversation. Then I smile.
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09-07-2016, 02:20 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 5
Hysterectomy: July 14th, 2016
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: How to tell people I'm having a hysterectomy without TMI?
I had the same issue as I didn't want people knowing the personal details. I told my close friends, immediate family & line managers the full details but for anyone else, I've just said that I was having abdominal surgery and if they pressed I'd say it was nothing sinister but to remove something that shouldn't be there.
As for Facebook, I'm never certain about who can see what on there so I've not mentioned it all. As far as my acquaintances (let's face it, they're not all friends or else they'd know already!) are concerned, nothing has happened. I read some advice about Facebook that you should only post things that you'd be happy to tell a stranger in a supermarket queue and it's a pretty good rule of thumb.
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