Officially scared for hysterectomy on Friday 4/24 and no one will listen to me

I am scheduled for a complete hysterectomy through abdominal incision on Friday, 4/24. The doctor is taking my ovaries, uterus and cervix. I feel like no one (my family and friends - I am divorced and ex-husband is no help) are not hearing me when I talk. All I keep hearing from them is "you'll be fine. It's no big deal. You were up and around after your c-sections in a 2 days." My uterus has multiple fibroids and there are tumors on my ovaries. My pre-op blood work shows very high white blood cell count.
I am scared that the tumors will be malignant.

I am guessing that they are trying in their own way to make you & maybe them feel better. I think that people are trying to make us feel better, but unfortunately we all don't need the same type of reassurance. I personally would rather hear people telling me that I will be fine and am strong then tell me horrible tales about what happened to someone they know who was in a similar situation. Do your drs think that the tumors might be malignant? I can imagine that would be super stressful to be thinking about. If the drs are worried about cancer, is everyone aware? I would never say it was no big deal to someone with suspected cancer, and can't imagine why they would do that, other than they don't know what to say. I hope that everything will go smoothly and everything will be benign. Best of luck to you.

Welcome Kathlaw,

I am sorry you have to deal with your fear and anxiety without the support of family members. Unfortunately, this happens far too often, so please check out this article with tips to cope with this :

COPING WITH NON SUPPORTIVE FAMILY

But please know, you are on a site where you will not be alone from this point on.

We are all scared to varying degrees before any type of major surgery - as all surgery involves risk. Although you are concerned about your blood work, please try not to project the worst case scenario. ISometimes we are pleasantly surprised and if not, this site has a wonderful group of gals on the Cancer Concerns Forum. I also had a radial Hyster and was given 3 different specialist opinions that my abnormal cells were cancer. I went into surgery fairly sure I had it, but was happy that everything would be removed. I was thrilled that my Pathology report showed the cells were pre cancerous, and by removing the organs, no further treatment would be needed. I am hoping you will have a safe and uneventful surgery. Communicate any fears you have to your doctor and see if an anxiety medication might be an appropriate option for you. Try to do things you personally enjoy up until Friday - and do positive things for yourself by making sure your recovery nest is ready. There are many wonderful articles for you to read that will help you feel mentally and physically prepared.

So try to stay calm and have confidence in yourself and your surgeon. I too had others scoff at my fears of surgery, so I just stopped talking about it and luckily found this site for support.

Take good care of yourself and try to eat healthy small meals and snacks to keep your strength up. Drink tons of water now and try to get some sleep...try soothing music in the background.

You are in the home stretch...you can and will do this. Have faith in yourself. you don't need others - just be there for yourself.

So sorry that u r going through this.i had my surgery 3 years ago heavy periods fribrods etc. the doctors thought I had ovarian cancer.my blood test 125 was very high. I remember my surgeon telling me "the only way they will know is to have a hysteroctomy" well I did not have cancer but endo.which will mimic signs of cancer.so please take it from me the doctors will not know till they operate on you. I had a complete hysteroctomy and now I feel great.hope fully you will to when it's all over.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathlaw ... I am scared that the tumors will be malignant.

That is a really scary situation to worry about. I'm not sure what anyone could say about that without it being annoying, but if there are things you would rather hear from your family, maybe you could ask them to say specific words that you want to hear. Such as, tell them as an experiment you think you would feel better if every hour they said "I love you and am ready to provide whatever help you need".

I once found a lost child in a foreign city. I didn't speak the language very fluently so I took the crying kid up to a street vendor. He told the child they did not need to cry, and amazingly that worked, the kid stopped crying. But, I don't think that works for adults, I only wish someone saying 'don't worry, be happy' did work!

Have you tried Mindfulness Meditation? I don't know much about it, I've been listening to a set of CDs, and it seems to be about learning not to deny your feelings but to observe them in a sort of objective way, like 'oh I am having stressful thoughts about work, I observe my heart rate increasing and the tension in my chest'. So far I am still horribly stressed about work though, so I can't honestly say it would help with your scared feelings.

Hello,
This is definitely a hard enough thing to go through especially when no one seems to know how to support you.
It helped my husband to read the FAQ from the mister hyster sister section. Until then he just had a hard time really grasping what I was experiencing physically and emotionally. I think this would be good for anyone who will be called on to help us sisters going through hysterectomy.
I hope that helps.

Take care. We'll be healing together this month.

-Patricia

I will pray for you. Sounds like there is enough evidence to certainly go through with it.I had mine a year ago on June 4. I had very little pain after, but really suffered with burning issues months later. It tamed down significantly about 9 months out. I had a daVinci, which I am not sure I would recommend. It is robotic and has been around only about 10 years.

In your situation, I feel like you have no choice. The pain was not bad for me until months later. Just take it VERY easy...even if you feel like you are okay.

I pray you find peace through prayer. God is with you, my friend

After years of being casual about everyone else's hysterectomy, when it was my turn I was SCARED SILLY !!!!!! I mean I was petrified and suffered depression the weeks leading up to it. And I had very little support from my husband who is a physician. So he just viewed this as a little outpatient surgery. There is no such thing. The good news is that it was actually way, way easier than I expected. I had little pain and was up and walking about 6 hours after my surgery. I stopped using pain meds about 4 days after. Did not recover as fast as some in terms of going back to work. Took me over a week. I was wiped out exhausted. Love yourself and care for yourself. This really is a big change. It's okay to be afraid, but try to be strong. DO NOT READ THE SCARE STORIES about problems after. I did and it made my fear skyrocket. The way I got through it was be reminding myself that every single woman I know who had a hysterectomy had no problems at all --- NONE. As a matter of fact they are all glad they had it. Hang in there. Be a princess, a diva, a queen, and put everyone else on notice that you expect to be treated that way while you recover. This is big --- but doable. You can do it.

I have large fibroids and have a TAH scheduled May 15th.

I've have them for years, at first misdiagnosed and then too large for anything but TAH - I also had no insurance. I bought insurance in Feb. and immediately scheduled appointments. The nurse and doctor were both "WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG?" /patronizing attitude. But then it was "hurry up and wait," since I had cancer 22 years ago, so they FREAKED me out and I had multiple tests and DR. visits to clear me.

I completely understand how scary it can be! I asked my DR. for a valium for the night before surgery, but she said no.

I'm so glad for this site! Lots of answers here and maybe being more informed will help allay your fears.

I really, really hope I don't sound patronizing, but try to do your best to distract yourself from worries. I meditate and practice deep breathing and I've been reading a lot and trying to find funny things to watch on TV and the computer.

Wishing you the very best!!!

[quote=Kathlaw;4585856]I am scheduled for a complete hysterectomy through abdominal incision on Friday, 4/24. The doctor is taking my ovaries, uterus and cervix. I feel like no one (my family and friends - I am divorced and ex-husband is no help) are not hearing me when I talk. All I keep hearing from them is "you'll be fine. It's no big deal. You were up and around after your c-sections in a 2 days." My uterus has multiple fibroids and there are tumors on my ovaries. My pre-op blood work shows very high white blood cell count.
I am scared that the tumors will be malignant.[/QUOTE

I have my surgery on the same day . I super nervous. Good luck to you on your surgery.