Catheter phobia

Post spoiler -- I talk about abuse issues in this post, so of you're triggered by that kind of thing, please skip this thread!

The one thing that is really wigging me out about having a hyst is the idea of a catheter. I have some abuse issues that seem to center on genital pain, and the last time I was catheterized -- a couple of weeks ago in ER, went in for massive pain and bleeding and they filled my bladder for a sono -- I had a flashback/panic attack.

It's really, REALLY bad. I get -- the only way to describe it is "little." I react like a small child, crying and thinking in circles about how if I'd "been a good girl" I wouldn't have gotten hurt. As hard as I try, I can't control the reaction -- I worked through a lot of my issues in some intense therapy, but this one is something I can't get past.

I'm terrified that I'll handle everything else about the surgery okay but be completely undone by waking up afterwards with a catheter and having to have it in for a day or two. In the ER they ended up sedating me because I was such a blithering mess. I handled a catheter after my c-section in '94 with my DD okay, but at that point I was also in seriously willful denial that I had ever been abused as a child, and at that point was also being abused by my ex-husband.

I'm scared that I did all the work in therapy, dredging up and dealing with memories, only to have it affect my ability to deal with my upcoming hyst. I NEED this surgery, I can't live the way I am any longer, but I'm also scared to death about losing it completely in the hospital over something as minor as a catheter. I don't know what to do...I worry about this all the time now. I just wanted to vent here a little bit. Sorry.

Hi Liz,

I'm so sorry about the stress that you're under. When you had the catheter in the ER were you awake when it was inserted? Perhaps that was the trigger? You'll wake up with it already inserted after your surgery. Honestly, when I had a cath in September after a myomectomy it drove me CRAZY!! I couldn't wait to get it removed. But when I had it in October after the hyst I was on so much pain meds that I didn't pay any attention to the cath, it was never a thought until they came in and removed it and even then I didn't really pay attention to it. Maybe the drugs will help you to not really notice it as well?

I hope that everything works out for you. Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

Mary Ellen

Dear Liz,

Please mention your concern to your doctor. Most times the catheter is inserted after you are sleeping. I couldn't feel it while it was in place, and it was removed the morning after surgery, and it's painless. Just take a deep breath, then relax while it's being removed and you shouldn't even feel it.

everyone has given you good advice so far. i was pretty aprehensive about the catheter, but it was already in when i woke up and i couldn't "feel" it at all--i only felt the tube against my leg.

when it was removed after 24hours, i only felt a "sliding" sensation--no pain.

Fluffy Lemur

I can only imagine what you're going through. If it were me, I'd speak to my doc about my fears. Maybe your doc as dealt with similar situations and can help you through this.