Why am I crying all the time? (children mentioned)

I am on day 16 (LAVH) and went back to the doctor on day 14. Waiting to check out, there was a bulletin board with all these newborns. Now I am 38 years old and I have four children but seeing the pictures just made me realize the real impact of having a hysterectomy. Now everytime I think about it, I start crying all over again. It is just stupid! I don't want any more children and I was miserable before the surgery. I was looking forward to this, no more periods, no more cramps, no more fibroids. I just feel like I am going crazy.

I was able to keep one ovary and I didn't think hormone levels would be a problem but that has to be what this is, right?

Also, I find myself speaking my mind a lot more. I used to just agree with my DH whenever he was upset, now I find myself saying what I really think and just firing right back at him when he says something stupid.

I waited a few days to say anything because I thought it was no big deal but I have broke down in tears twice today!

Has anyone else felt like this?

Michele

Hi Michele, I think it's probably normal to go through a sort of grieving process, even if you decided you weren't going to have any more children.

I am on day 12 after a TVH and have three beautiful kids, and I also had decided I didn't want any more and am looking forward to not having the pain and everything else I had before, but while doing the grocery shopping a pregnant woman passed us and I just burst into tears....that wasn't at all expected LOL

Just give yourself some time and don't thrash yourself, having a hysterectomy is a huge decision no matter what the circumstances behind it and your emotions will hopefully settle down in time

Michele,

TOTALLY normal! When hubby and I sat down to do our taxes, 5 months POST OP, I seriously bursted out in tears. Let me tell you why though, LOL! I was reading the Goodwill donations and saw all of my maternity clothes and baby gear on it. I knew I couldnt have any more children, I THOUGHT I had dealt with it and then BAM! the tears were flowing.

Our bodies have been through so much. It's really going to just take time for everything to settle down.

Since you only kept one ovary, it might not be producing the amount of hormones your body is used to. If it were me, I would call my doc and ask for a hormone level test. And share with them everything you are going through.

When I was in the hospital I recovered on the maternity floor. My dh took me on a walk to see the babies and I felt so sad I could barely stand it. I was mad at my dh for thinking I would like to go and see them. Every nurse that came in thought I had just had a baby and would ask me about the baby. I would have to tell them, I didn't have a baby, I had a hysterectomy! It sucked!

I think the finality of the matter is very painful, even if you were never going to conceive again and you knew that. It is not easy to face that it is finished forever.

As for arguing and such, do you think that maybe when you are hurting and people annoy you, you are just more vocal? I know I was easily offended and mad at anyone who looked at me the wrong way. I was hurting and miserable (early on).

It took a good month for my hormones to settle some, I am just now noticing that they are a bit better (no more night sweats).

Take care hon, and hang in there, love your kiddos and dh, you'll feel better I promise!

Greetings Michele, is it hormones or do you finally feel like you are strong enough to voice your thoughts? Remember this is happening to our bodies, but our loved ones too are impacted by it as well... Some DH just can't understand the mystery of the female body... Good luck and hang in there, everyday is new....

Greetings Michele, is it hormones or do you finally feel like you are strong enough to voice your thoughts? Remember this is happening to our bodies, but our loved ones too are impacted by it as well... Some DH's just can't understand the mystery of the female body... Good luck and hang in there, everyday is new....

And the crying... I was 19 and lost my tube and ovary to a grapefruit sized cyst... so began my troubles till my TAH on Feb.18th,(Over 24 yrs of troubles) I lost a baby and husband just before that, I married again thinking I could not have any children, he loved me anyway, and right away I got pregnant... many troubles but he was born and almost died, he got stronger at one year I got cancer, treated that and then lost another baby in early pregnancy... then another blessing but was bedfast the entire time... my condition was so touch and go my Dr. tied my tubes at the Catholic hospital! We had to get special permission...20 yrs ago! Anyway, my youngest was almost 3 and I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life in tieing my one tube I had... there was so much endometriosis that they could not reverse the tie and it took me years to get over... Even in 2005 when our oldest graduated I cried about a baby... I am grateful for my two blessings and now realize that it is just in some womens' 'makeup' to be mom's and want to nurture more.... Hang in there... talk to your doctor, talk to other older women who may have gone through it too... I remember when my youngest was only 6 months old and my DH came home from work and said that a co-worker was coming over to pick up all of the "baby stuff" that we would never need again!!!!! What a day that was... it was the truth but what a punch it had! Love the 4 blessings you have and know that you have many sisters out here that feel with you!!!

Hi Michele,

I just posted about this a few days ago (under the Post Op forum, titled Baby Grief). There are a lot of helpful comments there too. My doctors office has a board with baby pictures on it which I avoided when I went for my post op visit on Wednesday. Then there were the Parent magazines and the very pregnant belly of a woman who walked past me as I waited to be seen. By the time I got into the office I was crying. Pregnant bellies, emails from friends who have just had babies, the loss of a choice, all of it is making me cry. I had everything removed and don't think this issue is hormonal (I mean to say, I'm not crying over cucumbers - it's all baby specific). I don't know about the speaking your mind part - I know that for me just being ill in general, before and after the surgery, has made me more irritable and less likely to take any ***.

I think grieving in general is normal with this surgery. It can really hurt. It's great that you came here to talk about it. That's progress in itself, just dealing with it. You are not alone! I have to believe it will get better but it might take time. xo

Hi Michelle,

I had LSH and thought it would be "nothing but a thing", but I found that my ovaries took time to wake up after surgery and I acted very "hormonal". I have no kids and thought I had dealt with all of that, but I found myself very emotional. Part of it was that I was transitioning off the pain meds too, and it seemed like everly little physical or emotional thing was magnified 10x.

With you having kids, you even more, would be expected to go through a grieving process and it seems normal to me that you would feel a sense of loss. You are letting go of a part of your body that has carried life into the world. I think you are going through a very natural grieving process and should give yourself some grace. I am glad you reached out on-line and hope you also have some nearby trusted friends you can call to bring you some home made soup or something. I send you my support and hugs.

And remember, it is not your fault you had to have a hysterectomy. You are doing the right thing by taking care of your body. Don't pressure yourself to be 100% yet. OK? Blessings to you, Barbara. P.S. It will get better! This is temporary.

Thank you to everyone for the encouragement. I feel better today - not as weepy.

I definitely need to let my doctor know what is going on, I was just there Tuesday and forgot all my questions at home.

I will make sure when I go back to take my list of questions with me.

Bless you all!
Michele