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Mothers!
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06-01-2004, 07:48 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 140
Hysterectomy: June 21st, 2004
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Mothers!
My Mom has been saying "oh you're just having surgery, it's not that big of a deal" since February when I found out I was going to have to have surgery. Now my Mother had this same surgery 24 years ago but for me it's not that big of a deal.
Yesterday she goes to see her doctor and he mentioned that he wants her to get off of hormones since she has been on them for so long. She tells him it's not a good time because her daughter is having surgery in a couple of weeks. He asks her what kind of surgery and she says just a hysterectomy nothing major. She told me she then got a 10 minute lecture from her doctor about how ALL surgeries are major! She should have known better than to say that to an ob doc...lol
To make a long story short, he took her off her hormones anyway and now this crazy person is going to be the person helping me after surgery!! She has never been very supportive so this should be very interesting.
Tina
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06-01-2004, 08:38 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 23
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Mothers!
I understand this mentality all too well what some don't understand is each surgery & healing time is different for each person. My mother also told me it was not a big deal..granted she had her tubes tied whereas I had a radical Hysterectomy with ovary removal. This is when I do the ole "smile & nod" response :::giggles:: works everytime
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06-01-2004, 08:53 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 530
Hysterectomy: June 8th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Mothers!
well one things for sure, she has certainly got the message lol
I hope for your sake that he heeds it and isn't too much of a mad woman. Perhaps you could bombard her with useful stuff from the hormone jungle.
The problem I have with my mother is that she loves illness, its the one way she can feel useful. She loves the drama of it all and if there is no drama she'll big it up enough that it will seem like there is. Also, there is no illness known to man that she hasn't experienced shhesh. Anyway, she will look after me well, all I've got to do is bite my tongue when she starts on the "When I had that done......" line
Hope all goes well.
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06-01-2004, 09:36 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 13
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Mothers!
This is most definitly an important surgery. And it is also a life changing one. Although all women experience different after effects, you will definitly expierence some effect . Good luck, stay strong, and always take care of you........
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06-01-2004, 12:33 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 236
Hysterectomy: August 30th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Mothers!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN as far and as quickly as you can!!!! lmao just kidding!!! You are strong, just do the smile and nod thing and know she belongs to "them" now!! teehee
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06-01-2004, 01:28 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 210
Hysterectomy: June 23rd, 2004
Ovaries: Undecided
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Mothers!
My mum was much the same she kept saying oh i had that years ago and ofcourse its so much easier these days...i tried to explain to her that im having more than a hysterectomy as they are taking my stomach lymph nodes aswell....shes going to be looking after me the week i come home and boy im dreading that more than the surgery now lol...she said now you musnt sit around allday you need exercise..i now have visions of her shouting through a loud speaker at 6am every morning *stand by your beds* and having me doing press ups *giggles* she means well though and has a heart of gold...its just her way of dealing with things and making me feel better about it all...she will take great care of me im sure and will feed me with the most wonderful food as shes a great cook.
good luck to you hope all goes well for you *hugs*
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06-01-2004, 02:44 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 10
Hysterectomy: May 18th, 2004
Ovaries: Undecided
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Mothers!
My mother told me that this was just a routine surgery, and would not take off a day from work to be with me during the surgery. She told me that I was selfish to even ask her to do that. Since my surgery was 4 hours away from home, I thought it pretty important that someone was there with me. Luckily, my ex's mother is a little nicer... she took the time off of work, stayed with me until I returned home, and made sure I had everything I needed for the first week. Mom and I haven't spoken... as a matter of fact, she never even called to see how I was doing after the surgery. Thank God for my ex and his family, and my friends. Don't know where I'd be right now without them.
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06-01-2004, 07:06 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 244
Hysterectomy: June 10th, 2004
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Mothers!
OH MY!! I had to laugh at her doctor giving her the lecture!!! Good for him (or her) Anywho hope she's not too much of a pain while you are recuperating!!! {{{HUGS}}}
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06-01-2004, 08:01 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,242
Hysterectomy: June 16th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Mothers!
I can't imagine Moms being that way. If it was my child, come H*** or high water, I would be there. And if my job didn't like it, I would tell them what to do with that job. lol
My Mommy is gonna be here for my surgery. She wants to take care of me for a few days. But she has terrbile migraines and a few other health problems and I have my kids and a good friend to help take care of me. My DH will help out when he's not at work. So hopefully I've talked her into going home after she sees I'm doing ok post surgery. She lives 99 miles away. And I want her safe. Not traveling late.
I feel very blessed with my Mama.
Trina
ps. NCbluez, I'm sorry your Mom wasn't there for you.
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06-01-2004, 08:33 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 10
Hysterectomy: May 18th, 2004
Ovaries: Undecided
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Mothers!
Thanks girl... I thought maybe I was over-reacting with her. When she informed me of this (in the hallway of the hospital as I was leaving after pre-op screening), I literally busted out in tears. I was really hurt by this, but couldn't make her understand that. I guess selfish people wouldn't understand anyway.
I have severed ties with her now, as I feel if I can't count on her during times like this, then I really don't want anything to do with her (or have her teaching my children to be as uncaring as she is to me right now).
Like I said earlier, thank God for friends and my ex's family. I haven't cooked a meal in the two weeks I've been home, as my co-workers are all taking turns bringing me dinner... and have also taken a collection for the days they can't bring anything so I can have it delivered. I am fortunate to be surrounded by such great people!
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