13 days post-LAVH, depression setting in :(

Hello, Sisters -

Having a rough morning... feeling ok physically, no pain, no spotting/bleeding, had some painful gas cramps before my bm but felt better afterwards. Feel like I'm recovering well, taking it slow. But I just can't shake this horribly bleak feeling that seems to have appeared out of nowhere. I'm usually a very positive and hopeful person but today... I feel very alone and tired. I know it's still early in my recovery, but right now I feel like I won't ever be "normal" again. I have been on the verge of tears all morning. I worry about returning to work and not being able to perform at the same level as pre-hysterectomy (I'm a workaholic and regularly worked 10, 12, sometimes 14-hour days to keep up with the demands at work), I worry about not being able to please my hubby sexually because I'm scared to death of deep penetration and tearing my vaginal cuff, I worry about not experiencing sexual pleasure which was a HUGE stress reliever for me pre-op. I look in the mirror and don't recognize my body with the swelly-belly and swollen lower back and softening muscle tone in my arms and legs. I can't wait to resume my workout routine!!

I guess maybe I'm going through something hormonal waiting for my ovaries to start functioning again... Sorry for the rant but I had to get these thoughts out of my head before they start spinning out of control.

I hope for the best for all of us - I think we all have different reasons for having this surgery but we share the same desire to be free of pain and have a better quality of life, it's just so hard getting from here to there.

Maybe I just need a

Hugs and prayers for you...

What you are feeling is entirely normal. You have had major surgery, and a disruption to your hormones.

Pre-op and post-op I have had days of emotionality, irritation, anger and depression. Sometimes I felt that people were kicking me in the teeth, just when I needed extra compassion and mercy. Thankfully I feel better today; yesterday a friend called me when I was feeling low, and that encouraged me.

It may be passing - but please consider reaching out for help if this bleak mood persists...

Sending you a BIG HUG xx i too am early in my recovery.

Sending hugs and positive energy your way!!

Thank you so much for the encouragement, sisters! I had a good cry on the phone with my best friend. Then went for a short walk. The cry, fresh air and sunshine did me some good. Still have the same worries but feeling less anxious. I'll cross each of those bridges when I get to them. Just gotta take it one day at a time.

Hugs all around and prayers for healing and full recoveries for all of us!

Hi there - rant away, that's what we are all here for. This operation is a toughie, just when you think you have the physical side of things almost under control, the emotional rollercoaster pulls into town and takes you for a crazy ride. I think part of our anxiety maybe comes from feeling out of control? We can deal with the pain and discomfort with medication, exercise and soothing pillows but the emotional side is not so tangible, hardly ever predictable and therefore out of our control.

I noticed a big difference once my remaining ovary kicked back into action and thankfully she seems content to play ball for the time being. Before that, i had irrational fears popping into head out of nowhere. I thought i was going doolally-tap but things have improved dramatically.

Hang on in there, whilst there is no road map to get you from 'here to there', there are a whole host of super ladies on this site who can always help point you in the right direction.

Thanks Coumarin. I definitely feel out of control emotionally and being the control freak that I am, it's a scary feeling!

I am more and more appreciative of the support and encouragement from this sisterhood with each day of my recovery. It's so comforting to be in contact with others who are going through the same thing. Healing and positive vibes!