dVH/RALH: Anxiety and emotions all over the place!

Had pre-op appt number one on Thursday. My confident, at peace self fell completely apart the minute the doc knocked on the door and walked in asking how I was doing. Since then I have filled my script for bowel prep (Half Lytely... any flavor pack recommendations?), and refused my husband's advances... I have lost my emotional desire... in fact, I have never felt less like a woman... and I am scared. I am a wreck. I have meds, I just don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like a misfit.. HELP!

Dee Dee,

I too am a teacher! When I first discussed the option of a hyster with my Doc I also fell apart. I felt that becuase I was not going to have children of my own that I did not have a real purpose on this Earth. I really had to go through all of the stages of mourning before I felt at ease with my decision.

Teaching is my purpose and not having biological children does not make me less of a woman. I get 30 new "babies" every September who need me just as much!

I have horrific painful cycles and have actually had to miss 2 field trips and numerous days of school becuase of them. I took a deep breath, told myself that I own it to myself to take my life back. After 25 years (I am 36) I own it to me to live a life that does not revolve around when I am going to start.

As far as your husbands advances, it is really hard to have others love you when you aren't loving yourself. I totally get it, but let him have his way, perhaps he'll make you feel like the Queen (or Princess) you are!!

I don't know if this helps, but breathe deep and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

you are definitely not alone. I cried every day from the day I decided on my surgery, which I postponed once out of total fear and lack of support from certain family members, until the day actually came. Reading the board and the comments of the wonderful sisters here helped me so much. This is why I come back 5 years later to let you know we understand. You are most definitely not a misfit! it is a big decision but you will be much, much better afterwards. Sending love and prayers your way.

Ruthie G

You are not alone...you will go through so many feelings between now and weeks after the actual surgery. Just give yourself time and remember...it is all about YOU.

To the teachers,
I want you to know that I have two children, and when I send them to school everyday, I pray that they will have the love that you both have talked about. I would love to have one more child and I know that sounds very selfish, but my heart can't help it. I have talked to my DH about adoption. I know that I would love a child even if it was not out of my womb, it would still would be mine in my heart and sole. I hope that you will consider adoption if you decide you still want children. Special needs children especial are hard to place because people want "perfect kids," for me I already have two special needs children and I would not change them for anything, and if we adopt it would be a special needs child. Love to you all and big hugs

Oh and right now everytime I see babies I cry, I can't help it. It felt like the grocery store was full of babies and my mom cooed over everyone of them. Ohh how it hurt, like a punch in the stomach over and over.

Well...I agree with Crashn because I have (adopted) children and I could NOT love them more than if they were born from me! Thos 2 kiddies are my whole world!!! It does not matter where your children came from (your body or your heart) they are YOUR kids and that makes your whole life amazing! We adopted them before I knew anything was even wrong with my health. We couldn't get preg so we adopted, never even looked into fertility treatments! I was a pre k teacher for high risk kids at the time..I loved each and every one of those kids like they were mine also, so don't worry..your surgery may not be the end of your dream, but the beginning of another..for you and whoever may be lucky enough to be your child!