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3 Weeks Post Hysterectomy - Depression?
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01-06-2015, 12:05 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 5
Hysterectomy: December 18th, 2014
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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3 Weeks Post Hysterectomy - Depression?
I signed up back when I had my surgery date, posted once, and then let it drift off.
But.
I had my surgery 12/18. It was LAVH for what was thought to be suspected Adenomyosis. I'm 31 so I had a hard time accepting my fate, accepting I'd no longer have children the "old fashioned way."
Turns out it was a lot worse than anticipated. Doc said it was a 9.9 out of 10 on the difficulty scale, the worst he's ever had to do. What was supposed to take 90 minutes took 4 hours.
I was chewed up with Endometriosis from the uterus all the way to the right Fallopian tube. I didn't even know I had it. The left ovary that he couldn't find on u/s had adhered to the uterus with signs of endo on it. Right ovary was fine so it stayed. Its just chilling out all by itself. There were fibroids and the uterus had adhered to the abdominal wall at midline.
Pain levels are great...I'm a little sore from driving for the first time since the surgery, no big deal.
Its this overwhelming sadness, this anger, hopelessness that plagues me.
Is this normal?
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01-06-2015, 01:00 PM
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Posts: 93
Hysterectomy: December 19th, 2014
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: 3 Weeks Post Hysterectomy - Depression?
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by DollyLlama
I signed up back when I had my surgery date, posted once, and then let it drift off.
But.
I had my surgery 12/18. It was LAVH for what was thought to be suspected Adenomyosis. I'm 31 so I had a hard time accepting my fate, accepting I'd no longer have children the "old fashioned way."
Turns out it was a lot worse than anticipated. Doc said it was a 9.9 out of 10 on the difficulty scale, the worst he's ever had to do. What was supposed to take 90 minutes took 4 hours.
I was chewed up with Endometriosis from the uterus all the way to the right Fallopian tube. I didn't even know I had it. The left ovary that he couldn't find on u/s had adhered to the uterus with signs of endo on it. Right ovary was fine so it stayed. Its just chilling out all by itself. There were fibroids and the uterus had adhered to the abdominal wall at midline.
Pain levels are great...I'm a little sore from driving for the first time since the surgery, no big deal.
Its this overwhelming sadness, this anger, hopelessness that plagues me.
Is this normal?
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I had TVH on Dec 19. I am 47. It happened to me starting on day 4 and 5. I am 47!!! I had a tubal at 23, an ablation at 40. Didn't want anymore kids, mine are grown and gone, I have grandkids for crying out loud. I felt HELPLESS and oh so SAD. I think what you are feeling is normal, you are young!! There was stuff going on in there you weren't even aware of. Your body wasn't being up front with you so to speak. You are normal I think. Do you have support at home? Family you can talk to? All your sisters here are always here but it sounds like you need to talk to someone. I think with time it will dissolve into a distant memory but I wonder if you might need someone close to you to talk to?? It a little worriesome that you describe the feeling as overwhelming, mine was too, but with this site and an amazing husband I was able to deal. Now I slip a bit every couple days back into tears but when I do, I come here. I read about how others are doing, focus on praying for others, worry a bit about some others here but all in all I'm able to keep it at bay. I wish I could help, I do think its normal, and I hope you find some way to feel better!! WE GOT YOUR BACK SISTA!!! Keep us posted on how you are feeling!!! Happy healing!!
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01-07-2015, 07:15 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 11
Hysterectomy: December 17th, 2014
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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3 Weeks Post Hysterectomy - Depression?
Is it normal to be angry, frustrated, sad, etc.?Absolutely! My surgery was 12/17. Only 38, single, no kids, live alone... I have absolutely been (currently am) in your same shoes. I figure that together we can get through this to find our new normal.
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01-09-2015, 06:29 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 5
Hysterectomy: December 18th, 2014
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: 3 Weeks Post Hysterectomy - Depression?
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by amyo
I had TVH on Dec 19. I am 47. It happened to me starting on day 4 and 5. I am 47!!! I had a tubal at 23, an ablation at 40. Didn't want anymore kids, mine are grown and gone, I have grandkids for crying out loud. I felt HELPLESS and oh so SAD. I think what you are feeling is normal, you are young!! There was stuff going on in there you weren't even aware of. Your body wasn't being up front with you so to speak. You are normal I think. Do you have support at home? Family you can talk to? All your sisters here are always here but it sounds like you need to talk to someone. I think with time it will dissolve into a distant memory but I wonder if you might need someone close to you to talk to?? It a little worriesome that you describe the feeling as overwhelming, mine was too, but with this site and an amazing husband I was able to deal. Now I slip a bit every couple days back into tears but when I do, I come here. I read about how others are doing, focus on praying for others, worry a bit about some others here but all in all I'm able to keep it at bay. I wish I could help, I do think its normal, and I hope you find some way to feel better!! WE GOT YOUR BACK SISTA!!! Keep us posted on how you are feeling!!! Happy healing!!
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I have amazing support at home via my husband! He lets me vent and cry with nothing but a hug. I am the only one of my friends that has been through this and so they don't understand. One who dealt with infertility issues (until she popped out two back to back w/ no intervention) says she can "relate" but its not the same. I hear a lot of "You can always adopt" from them. I know they mean well but right now, I don't want to hear what I can always do. I just want to be allowed to grieve this loss.
I had an appointment with my primary the other day who suggested St. John's Wort because I didn't want to go with antidepressants. Thanks to my amazing husband, he got me the information to call the Employee Assistance Program hotline to get the ball rolling on seeing a therapist who does work with women in these sorts of life transitions.
I couldn't find St. John's Wort when I was at Target the other day getting my blood pressure meds filled but I found Estroven for Mood and Memory and wow! I took it the first night I bought it and my libido came roaring back. I felt alive. I took it Wednesday and the same! I felt normal..happy, smiling...No sadness, etc. Thursday was the same and today!
I was able to sneak back to work a day early. I am the office assistant Wed/Thurs at my church, volunteer position for now, but just being in the office and working my tail off made all the difference in my mood. I don't do well alone where I'm stuck with my thoughts. Today is okay. No work since the church office is closed so my thoughts are with me and I watch my neighbor's drive way fill with little babies (she runs a daycare from her home) and my heart aches for what can never be again.
I don't think I could survive this w/o my husband. It feels like Postpartum Depression (like I had with my first child) all over again without a baby..
My neighbor stopped me yesterday to ask how I was doing. Her mom is a nurse at the OB/GYN practice I go to. And I told her it is rough emotionally, not physically, because whoever imagines this would happen to them at 31. No one.
But, hopefully the continued use of Estroven and therapy will help.
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