surgery 2 weeks away and now I might be looking for another opinion :(

I've got to agree with the other sisters--he may be a skilled surgeon, but what you describe sound disrespectful to me, and there should be mutual respect in the doctor/patient relationship. He can feel strongly and even be unwilling to be the one to do certain things because it is against his professional judgment--but that can be done respectfully. As for the sexual response issue, my doctor said that varies but in her opinion women who get major sexual stimulation with the cervix generally know it. For whatever that is worth . . . .

I had my second opinion today and I am SO glad I went! it was SO worth it. He had a completely different demeanor AND he wanted to do a completely different approach. Originally Dr #1 wanted to to an abdominal total hyst- taking my cervix too, and fix my prolapses by basically wrapping my entire vagina from one end to the other in mesh-ick! Dr #2 wants to do it entirely laproscopically, leaving my cervix (unless it looks like it should come out once he gets in there) and no mesh- except sling for bladder. He thinks by suspending my vaginal wall it will make my cystocele self correct. He does want to fix my rectocele though but NO MESH! Woohoo!!!
And even better- he is scheduling the surgery for the day before I had my original surgery scheduled. I am so happy. I even told him that i love him. LOL!
He and his staff did say that they have had a lot of patients that come running from the same dr I orig. had because he got mad at them for having opinions. Crazy!

Damiana9

I'm sure there are MANY very excellent surgeons that do not have appropriate communication skills as far as managing emotions and addressing fears in conversations with patients. Personally, based on credentials and experience I have been willing to go with that for other types of surgery, broken hand, fused vertebrae. But I have to say a hysterectomy seems so much different to me. Especially if you are not comfortable having an organ removed. You can't get it put back in. Its something that will live with you forever if you don't ask the questions you need to ask and feel right in your heart about your decision.

I am very glad to hear that you are pursuing a second opinion. I don't like how the first person treated you. You deserve better. Keep asking and calling and don't give up.

Thanks EchoDog. I agree- many surgeons have that attitude, and with some surgeries it isn't a big deal, but for this it does seem different. A hysterectomy is very personal- and there will be post op appointment and what if I had problems or questions. I don't want to have a doctor that I am afraid to ask about things.
The second doctor just felt right from the get go. And even if he would have wanted to follow the same approach (though he didn't) he listened to me and understood my concerns. THAT means alot!

Very glad the new Dr. is working with you! I've been very lucky, my Dr. is great, patient, explains things in detail, and LISTENS to what I have to say. LOL He's also very happy with me, because when he explains things, I understand the terms he's using, because of all the research I have done. He told me he's had patients who are clueless... as to what they have had performed, when it was performed, or what was taken/not taken out!
Not to be mean, but I can't believe that there are people out there, who don't know what type of surgery they had, if they still have their ovaries or not, or even WHEN the surgery was. Crazy!
So, congrats! Great that you got that 2nd opinion, and found the Dr. that works/fits with you!
Stephanie

So happy you went for a 2nd opinion. This surgery is a big deal and you need to be doing what is right for you, not just what the doctor says.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery.

I am so happy that you had such a great experience with the second Dr! What a relief- and how awesome that the surgery date worked out! My Dr is fabulous like your 2nd one- I love him and will see nobody else as long as he is in practice (and he's only a few years older than me, so hopefully that will be a LONG time!)!

As for patients being clueless- I believe it was on this board that someone reported that their Dr has to ask ahead of time if they are aware that a hysterectomy means they will no longer be able to bear children- because apparently someone asked that Dr how long after surgery she could start trying again?!?!?!

Amy
LAVH- 1/31/2011

Holy Moly you do not deserve to be treated like that. This is YOUR body. it is YOUR treatment. YOU are control of it. I say get the second opinion.

Gentle hugs...

opps I see there is an update and a positive one at that! Bravo!

damiana9 - I am SO happy that your second opion was amazing and felt right....exactly how it happened for me to! I completely relate to how it feels to go from the stress of not being heard, to the elation of knowing you found your surgeon. It's night and day. I'm so glad you found "day"!!

Your self advocacy paid off in spades!