Help with Sister

i understand, my mother and my mother in law are so upset that i am taking away there unborn grandkids, and how could i do this to them....
you be strong and remember taht you are doing this because you need to for your health.
i told my mom that i am sorry that she feels this way, but i need her to shut up and support me, as this is a very, very hard time.
stay strong, and if you are not getting the help you need from her emotionally, then go else where for your support.

Suzanne,

I can relate to so much of what you wrote, however, unlike your sister, my family wonders why in hell I have waited this long. It seems like family members feel they have the right to tell us what to do with our bodies and how to do it. They loves us so they feel that gives them the right to give unsolicited advice about things they don't understand at all. I am sorry that your sister cannot understand what you are going through and offer her support rather than her criticism. It is sad that your sister herself has endo but cannot find a way to give you support and encouragement for choosing a difficult path in the hopes of feeling better and having a life worth living.

Ultimately you have to do what is best for you, not what will make others happy. Maybe if you can tell her point blank that you are glad she cares enough to offer advice but that what you need now is support and encouragement, not advice she will at least stop trying to discourage you and change your mind. Make the subject off limits if you have to. I have now completely stopped telling my mother anything about whether or not I am going to have the surgery or not. I am but she doesn't know and won't know until perhaps a few days prior. I need her love, not her misguided attempts to make me feel better. She has no concept of what I am going through and sometimes ignorant comments, no matter how well-meaning, are very hurtful. Perhaps you could tell your sister that you had hoped since she also has had a hard time with endo that she would be a source of understanding and support for you and that you really do hope she will decide she can be there for you.

In any event, I wish you the best. I often say that family can be our greatest source of comfort, but also our greatest source of pain. Take care of yourself because, in the end, that's all that really matters. You won't be much of a sister, daughter, wife or friend to anyone if you aren't doing what you feel is best for you.

Big, big s for you! Your own family may not be supportive of your decision, but your Hyster Sister family will support you no matter what. Take care!

Hi scoozi -

I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and hope things go better for you tomorrow. It sounds like you have a loving and supportive dh and that can me the world during these type of family issues. Trust me, we have mounds of the family issues, but so far I have been fortunate that my surgery is not one of them. I have enjoyed your posts and see that your surgery is the day before mine. Count me in as another sister that will support you during the next weeks. Remember we are only a post away! Bless you.

Thank you, once again, everyone! You can't imagine how good it makes me feel to have such great sister! I'm getting goosebumps just sitting here replying. {{{{{{{{{HysterSisters}}}}}}}}}} DH told me if sis says ANYTHING about this subject, he's walking out & I'm following him. Can't ask for a better guy! He told me earlier this week he's seen a positive change in me & my attitude since I made this decision.....I've noticed it too. My friends all seem to be very supportive of my decision & my request for no visitors.....it's just the fam that is getting in the way.....guess I need to just bulldoze over them & leave 'em in the dirt. I still have to talk to my bro & sil.....that one will be just as tough, if not even more bullheaded. I call them clueless squared, so you get the idea.......
Thanks again for all the advice & well wishes. I'm not changing my mind about any of this & told one of my friends I may have to tell cluelessx2 if they try to visit they will be escorted out by security!

I'm off to bed now. Haven't slept since noon on Wed....long story that has nothing to do with this....just my rubber stamping obsession, er, addiction!

Night!

Other than the lack of planning on my sister's part for the get together tonight, things went ok. The topic didn't come up, but other things really irritated DH. He's had his fill of my sister for at least 6 months now.

SIL called this am to see if she & the kids could come visit since she was in the area. I didn't have an excuse except the house is messy and I hadn't showered yet, so I said ok. She took things much better than I had expected. She said she'd respect my wishes about visitors thought it made sense.....maybe SHE should talk to sis!

Thanks again for all the support & advice! You truly are my sisters!

Stand your ground suzanne.........Don't be afraid to tell them to leave if they do show up I have some family members that are planning to just show up and I don't want them there..I don't even like them when I'm well......So I will inform the nurses station No visitors they said this would allow them to redirect any unwanted people....Take care.Hope all goes well for you.....

shannnon