30 hours and all my bravado is gone

I was so confident and sure of everything and now I'm just scared to death for no good reason.

I've had bad reactions so anesthesia before and now I'm older and I've gained weight.

And I'm a smoker. I meant so much to cut down before surgery. But I was in so much pain and not sleeping and then on pain medication and STILL not sleeping and mostly on bedrest... and I'm stupid.

I'm really nervous about how scary it will be coming out of anesthesia and I'm nervous about the scarier possibilities.

SO silly and so immature, I know.

But here it is 1:30 and in 27 hours I'm leaving for the hospital and in 30 hours I'll be in surgery and shouldn't I be asleep instead of sitting here worrying like a college student before finals?

But here I am.

You are not alone. I think I may have gotten two hours of sleep last night. I am leaving for the hospital in about thirty minutes. Hang in there...you can do this. Best of luck and I will see you on the other side.

Just hang in there - you will be fine. Probably safer on the operating table than in your own bed, what with all the monitoring that is going on!

And I pray you will get tons of lovely sleep during the period of your recovery.
I know some get insomnia, poor things, but I slept far more than I have ever done since I was a kid - at night I mean.

All the best, both of you!!

See you on the other side!

I so totally understand your fear and sleeplessness. I too am a smoker and a large lady (over 275lb) so the thought of this surgery and recovery scare me to death. I will send you positive thoughts of health, comfort and well being through out the day. Know that others are with you and you can do this!!

I can relate - I'm out the door in an hour and a half. Had to take an Ativan. See you on the flip side without our lady bits NO MORE PERIODS!!!

Quitting smoking is tough and particularly tough when you have a lot of stress going on.

Make sure the anesthesiologist knows about your concerns. Mine was really nice. I have pretty severe arthritis in my jaw and was afraid that tubing would cause me a lot of pain later. But he was careful and I had no problems.

Surgery is often performed on people who are heavy, smoke, have other health things going on. Your surgical team knows how to handle this stuff and will take good care of you.

It is still scary but for most people the problems are minor.

Hi Kay_Rock,

You are not silly and immature. I am a nervous wreck, too. I am overweight and have another problem that could interfere with the anesthesia. I really do think you will be fine, though. I have relatives who are heavy smokers and alcoholics and they seem to come out of surgery fine. I am not advocating these behaviors but just want to point out that as long as the surgeon and the anesthetist know you are a smoker you should be fine.

Try not to stress about not sleeping. You will have plenty of time for that after tomorrow. Be kind to yourself and know that there will be others of us out there that are sending you positive thoughts.

I am having my TAH tomorrow as well. I too am scared. Tonight is going to be a long night. Today, I am putting the finishing touches on everything so I am too busy to worry, but tonight I probably wont sleep much. Just my luck that tonight is winter solstice, the longest night of the year! Good luck tomorrow.

Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I also "peeked over the wall" at the recovery progress for those who had theirs in the last few days and it was very encouraging.

Those of us going in tomorrow may find ourselves sleepless and here tonight, LOL.

I'm trying to pack everything on the "what you will need" lists and kind laughing at myself realizing I probably won't be in shape to grab any of it.

Mostly I'll need my husband He's promised not to leave until I'm awake and can see him. Just knowing he'll be there the whole time gives me crazy amounts of comfort. I don't know what I'd do without him. I've been on bedrest for nearly a month and he's been a saint.

I'm just crying on and off today for no good reason. I've heard from the hospital and the nurses at my doctor's office for all my last minute checklist things, and now I'm just waiting to hear from the anesthesiologist so i can cry on his shoulder.

5:30 am will come mighty early. And it will take forever, at the same time.

H Kay_Rock! Im scheduled for tomorrow also! I have MAJOR butterflies! I didnt sleep well last night, I could only imagine I will be up all night tonight! I am scheduled for noon! My hubby will be there too, couldnt imagine doing this without him! I was joking with him and said he should stay the night with me...he said he would if I wanted him too, I was joking but I think I may want him there, just to be there lol!