What happens after surgery?

I have my surgery on the 26th, I scheduled it for a Friday so that my husband could be around for our kids on the weekend. My stepmom is coming that following Sun and staying with me to help with the kids and the house, and she leaves on Sat. I am just wondering what it will be like afterwards. People including my ob tell me that for two weeks I am suppose to be basically on bedrest, then the next two weeks no driving and then the next two weeks no lifting anything over 10 lbs. How accurate is this? I have a 3yr old little boy, who constantly wants me to pick him up, especially when he is tired or sick. I have been explaining to him that I will not be able to pick him up after the surgery, but he doesn't understand, he is 3 after all. Plus, he wants ME to lay down with him at bedtime, I have tried and tried to get him to sleep on his own, but it just isn't working. How will I be able to do this once I come home from the surgery? My dh has tried to put him to sleep, but nope, he WANTS mommy! I am stressing about all kinds of things, and I know I shouldn't be, but I just can't help it! I am not very good at asking for help or letting someone else help me (like my stepmom who is visiting just to help me), so what do I do? I also have noticed that I have been very weepy over stupid little things, heck I cry over commercials! Last time I did that was when I was pregnant, and I KNOW I am not pregnant now, so what gives? AND I am still over two weeks away from my surgery date! Man oh man, am I going to be a basket case that day!

Hi, Everyones Dr has different guidelines. I was allowed to drive 1 week post-op..The good news for you is that laying down with your 3 year old shouldn't be a problem..as you will do a lot of that your first week or 2 anyways. Maybe you could start weening your child from being picked up now..because you definately will not be able to pick up your child for quite a while post-op. Good-luck to you.

Hi,

What kind of surgery are you having... TAH, LAVH? I had a LAVH and never really entered a total bed rest state. I walked around the house a lot and puttered around some of the time. I started walking outside my second day home. Since you have young children, you probably will need help for the week. But, I had my surgery on a Thursday, had my husband home for the weekend and was fine by myself by Monday. My daughter is a bit older, so she was able to pick up the slack.

cutix2

I had a TVH with A/P repair a TVT. For the first two weeks I was mostly in bed with short trips to the bathroom and was not allowed to do more that two flights of stairs a day. At my 2 week post-op appointment since I was no longer taking narcotics, but that I should only drive if I thought I could stomp on the break without pain. Since I couldn't even sit in the car without pain I didn't drive for a bit longer. I went to my 6 week appointment today and am healing, but my Dr. said I wasn't healed enough that he wanted me to keep the lifting to under 10 pounds. He has also told me that I will be limited to 20 pounds for 6 months. According to my Dr. pushing and pulling are the same as lifting, so no vacuuming, grocery carts, moving furniture, etc.

That said, do what your Dr. tells you to do. He has a reason for it.

He may be having a hard time understanding what is going to happen in the future, I don't think 3 year olds have the concept of future. But he is old enough that after your surgery you can tell him you have a sore tummy and can't lift him. I would guess that he will still be able to climb up on the sofa and sit by you or climb onto your lap and snuggle.

Your son will have a few nights away from you to adjust to going to bed without you. Once you get home, do not give in. You cannot under any circumstances no matter how good you feel pick him up before the dr says you can. You can cause all kind of internal damage if you do. Believe me, after surgery you won't mind asking for help those first couple of weeks. Once you get past them you will feel better every day. But do not over do it.

hey there!! Just wanted to let you know that we are here for you. I am actually in the same boat as you. My surgery is the 16th. I have an almost 4 year old little boy and an 18 month old little girl. So I am with ya on the picking them up and all that. Lots of prayers will help us through this time and we will be alright!!

Thank you all for your support and advice. I know I should take it easy, it is very hard for me, especially when it comes to my son. Once he turned three he became this very clingy needy child. I don't get it. He used to be so dependent on himself and want to do everything on his own, now it is always "mommy this and mommy help me do that". It's hard because my husband works late and far away so he doesn't see the kids too much during the week, and so my son isn't used to him doing anything for him. It has always been mommy! But I will do what the doctor tells me to do and I will try and let my stepmom pick up the slack. My husband just told me this morning that he already let his job know that the following week after my stepmom leaves that he will have to take a few days off to help me at home, I wasn't expecting that, so that is a nice surprise.

Andrea12, good luck with your surgery, I know it is fast approaching. E-mail me after the surgery when you get a chance so I know everything went well. I will be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery, and sending you lots of hugs!!!!

My advise for what it is worth is start practicing now making him do things for himself. I just trained my 3 year to be more independent by saying I cannot help you right now. Now if you want it go ahead nad get it yourself. Beware this is a double edged sword b/c now she has to do EVERYTHING herself. But with my surgery coming up in 8 days I figured better now. I have been organizing things, almost like a "nesting". I think I am doing it to help my mother. I am even having all 3 of my girls clothes grouped together so they just have to pick an outfit. I too try to be super woman but we need to ask for help. I am having it done TAH so my restrictions were no driving 2 weeks, no lifting over 12 lbs for 6 weeks, and just get lots of rest. Also hire a cleaning person to come every 2 weeks, that helps with the cleaning. Now if I could only find a laundry person. LOL

You will be fine, just keep your chin up and think I am going to get through this fine. After all child birth was little more difficult is my guess.

My surgery is Monday and since my kids are teens they can actually help me this time. When they were only one and three I had open heart surgery and couldn't lift anything heavier than an apple for 4 months. My 3yr old understood that mommy had a big owie but not so easily explained to a 1yr old. Just keep yourself protected with pillows when they sit or lay with you. Good luck and God bless!

Hi Cutiex2,

Just be gentle with yourself. I have a week to go now and I am also stressing out about things. Take care of what you can now and put the rest to one side. Sounds like you have good support...let them do what they can too. I think letting family and friends support you is also helpful to them because at least they are doing something rather than just watching you. (at least this is what I have been told in no uncertain terms by DDs! LOL)
Hang in there...not long to go!
Sue