trying to stay strong

Feeling very scared, emotional and just plain sad. Trying to keep it together for the sake of kids and husband. They dont see me cry, but it is hard to act ok all the time. Sometimes it just drives me crazy that kids are upset over something really stupid when there are bigger things for people to be worried about, like cancer, surgery etc. But then I just want the kids to act normal and I guess that means acting stupid over kids stuff. I'm probaly not making much sense, but I just need to get it off my chest. I am truly thankful for this website and all my sisters. I think I'm losing it. What am I doing wrong? I am crying and screaming and pulling my hair out (all inside ofcourse).

My surgery is coming up on the 21st I just went to the dr for my last visit before surgery...he did an vaginal ultrasound today...and now has seen some new fibroids and some changes he was a little concerned about in my uterus.

My hubby works out of town and I get to pick him up tomorrow and see him for the first time in a month and since I found out about my surgery...gosh I am nervous to see him...

Does anyone have any warm thoughts to calm my nerves or suggestions for getting ready for my trip to the castle

To both sisters - this is indeed an overwhelming time - our nerves are raw and the emotions are very close to the surface.

Taylor&doodlean - not doing anything "wrong"!! You have a lot on your mind - surgery, cancer, recovery, how-am-I supposed-to-do-it-all &-stay-sane! Information is a powerful tool - maybe a visit with your Dr. or surgeon will a list of questions and concerns could help put your mind at ease. I didn't sleep well until I had all my answers - and actually managed to sleep like a baby the night before my surgery!

Confused - I think seeing your DH tomorrow will be the best thing - good that he will be home for you and hopefully the calming source you need. Surround yourself with loved ones and positive people - great for a good recovery!

Isn't this sight awesome!! Good luck you two!!

Tracy

	Quote:
Originally Posted by confused92 My surgery is coming up on the 21st I just went to the dr for my last visit before surgery...he did an vaginal ultrasound today...and now has seen some new fibroids and some changes he was a little concerned about in my uterus. My hubby works out of town and I get to pick him up tomorrow and see him for the first time in a month and since I found out about my surgery...gosh I am nervous to see him... Does anyone have any warm thoughts to calm my nerves or suggestions for getting ready for my trip to the castle

Dear confused,
I am so glad your hubby is coming home tomorrow. It breaks my heart that you had to deal with this alone. I share your concern regarding your ultrasound, but believe me everything is going to be ok. Try to concentrate on getting your room ready for when you get home. I cleaned my room, removed clutter from shelves, dusted everything and redecorated. What I did is added my favorite pics from around the house and placed them on my shelves. I also bought one of those fake fish tanks that look kinda like a tv. My hubby hung it in the room for me to enjoy. I also have a bag with odds and ends that I have been gathering along the way. This is for my hospital stay. I put my bible, a few magazines, video poker game and ofcourse my ipod. I have been adding music that I enjoy. I know this is a scary time for you, but with all the love from this website you must know you are not alone. Get as much info as possible before surgery and it should bring your mind to ease. Remember you are in my prayers and please keep in touch. You are not alone, I like the rest of your sisters are here for you. Be strong and remember talk to your hubby, lean on him for a change. It is ok, I feel much better when I talk to my hubby and he says he does too. He is scared to so keep the communication open. Talk soon Take care, you are in my prayers

Taylor&doodlean,
Hey...when is your surgery? its okay to be scared...its okay to cry...its okay!
you are perfectly good sense to me. I had surgery Nov. 14th 2007...I was a nurse and knew too much...not good sometimes trust me...so..I too was scared...had all kinds of emotions going on at once...made a mistake by working a full day the day before...not good...your mind is not there....
I wish so much I had this site before my surgery...such great advice and support....helped so much post-op...keep in touch with all your sisters here..
we all understand and you can unload here anytime..we are listening.
Take care and good luck

	Quote:
Originally Posted by angieann1 Taylor&doodlean, Hey...when is your surgery? its okay to be scared...its okay to cry...its okay! you are perfectly good sense to me. I had surgery Nov. 14th 2007...I was a nurse and knew too much...not good sometimes trust me...so..I too was scared...had all kinds of emotions going on at once...made a mistake by working a full day the day before...not good...your mind is not there.... I wish so much I had this site before my surgery...such great advice and support....helped so much post-op...keep in touch with all your sisters here.. we all understand and you can unload here anytime..we are listening. Take care and good luck

Thank you for listening to me ramble. I am so glad your surgery went good. I understand about too much info, I feel I have overloaded on info and now I cant think of anything else. How are you feeling now that its 2 months after surgery? Are you back to work and if so how are you handling it? Thanks for everything. This website does make you feel better. Love these sisters
Love
Crsytal

Oh, do I ever hear you on "information overload" ....

I actually had to self-limit my Hyster Sisters time before my surgery. I used to find myself annoyed if there wasn't a new story to read each time I logged on. All classic symptoms!

For me, one of the best tension relievers before my surgery was comedy. I watched "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" tapes, my favorite funny movies, and whatever else I could find that made me chuckle. I tried to get as much done as I could to give myself a couple of days where I could just hang out and relax as much as possible...

I'm not a bubble bath person, but many swear by bubble baths or warm baths with lavendar-scented bath oil as a calming technique.

But still, the anxiety is bound to set in at times. But remember, we're all in this with you. Those of us who have already gone through the surgery know exactly what you're feeling right now, to one degree or another. We're sisters, after all!

You are so right. I have been trying to laugh alot more. Also I have had to limit my time here too since I get too much info and start freaking out a little. I seem to be getting too emotional during the day. Crying over commercials, tv or just emails. Then I get it together, but feel ridiculous for feeling sad. I know there are others who have it worse than me, so I am trying to stay positive. I know this will be over soon, its just my mind keeps sending me over the edge sometimes. I just think of my happy place and try to forget that inside I feel like I am going CRAZY!!! lUCKILY NO one else can get into my mind. Thanks for the talk
Crystal

Hey taylor&doodlean
Its tough getting back to work...but was a necessary part of my recovery to get back to the normal routine before my surgery....unfortunately where I work in hospital is sooooo busy...not too many times where I can rest thru the day.
So...I take a chair with me at each bedside and sit...co-workers know and understand...and it does help. Its mostly for the fatigue of 8 hours of working 5 days a week....did not do that in beginning...but am now doing it and it does make one tired.
Our bodies went thru a big ordeal and now we are adjusting to many new things...stuff I just really wasn't ready for..but am now cause its here!
No one really wants to be thrown into menopause...but that is exactly what happens..well it did to me...not sure what all you are having removed..I am just dealing with things as they come along...and trying so hard not to fix all of them at the same time...my DH is so good...he knows how bad I want to be "back to normal" whatever I thought that was....cause I felt horrible each month....anyways he understands I am trying too hard to get better..
I am trying to just take each day as it comes...thank God above for another day. Just make sure you are mentally ready to go back...physically you know it will take time for things to feel better...go slow...be patient...you can and will do it...I am glad its over and glad I did it....and know things will be better in the long run for me...take care.

Thanks for the advice. I hopefully get to keep my ovaries if lymphnodes and tumors are clean. We just have to wait and see. I agree trying to not fix all the problems at the same time. As you I must take it day by day. Luckily I am a Realtor and with this type of Real estate market I can take plenty of time off. I have a dh that is very helpful so I plan on taking it easy or trying. I look forward to speaking with you again. I hope work today wasn't too bad and hopefully you are off on Monday. If not, just relax and god bless you. It is very hard to count down until I am off to the castle. Well take care