Getting very lonely!!!!!

Hi Ladies-

I needed to vent a bit tonight. I am getting really lonely. My husband has been great but he never took off work and I am home by myself all day. Then when he gets home he is more concerned with working out or taking a nap. He was awesome the first 2 weeks but ever since my 2 week check up he has become very cold. I dont know why. Its really bothering me and he is taking everything so defensive. I am at the point I dont even want to talk to him. I feel better overall and feel that I could start doing alot on my own, but then I read posts on here and even though I feeling good I know I need to still take it easy. So I feel like I am in the middle of h__l. I am going stir crazy. I also feel myself getting really nasty. I cant get satisfied with anything I eat and I know this is weird but my sense of smell is very strong. Maybe that has something to do with surgery. Well ladies I have vented enough. Have a good night all!

Melissa

I think what happens to DH's that by week 2 we look good, everything on the outside "looks" the way it did before surgery. I think they have a hard time grasping that this was MAJOR surgery and the healing is on the inside! They think we are taking advantage of them , for once we have to think of ourselves. We will be no good to them if we tare our incision and hemmorage & this is the risk we take if we don't listen to . I'm sorry you have to go through this things will be better in the near future.

's & God Bless
Lori

Hi Melissa,

The first 6 weeks is VERY important for healing. I mean...if we do not get it right then, when do we get it right??

I agree with Lori...that at 2 weeks we might start to look great on the outside and we are still healing on the inside. Did your DH possibly attend your 2 week post-op appointment?? Or did you tell him what the Dr. said?? Possibly some of the info. he heard has misled him to think that you should be fully recovered at 2 weeks, thus the distance. Just a thought.

You Dear Princess need to ~take it easy~ still. This is your ~Post Op Princess~ time and you need as much R & R as possible.

Best wishes,

Mary

Hey Melissa!
I feel for you, girl. Hang in there! My hubby is moody, too and thinks I should spring right back into the Superwife/mom/teacher mode. Not gonna happen AND I'm not gonna feel bad either!

Use your healing time to heal, cuz you know as well as I do that you will not have this "down time" ever again.

God bless you, girl!

SISTERS, ya'all rock!

Hi Melissa,

Joy is right on!! You just be ~SuperWoman~ in .

Mary

It is so hard- my DH was great the first couple of weeks and then as I slowly started doing ANYTHING it automatically became my job again!!! I had to make a decision to be pathetic once more. One evening I deliberately did nothing about a meal and eventually he started cooking.
As for boredom and lonliness- I am screaming inside not to be back at work yet, but my job (teaching) is too physical and I have been advised to take the full 12 weeks. It's not like a holiday when you can do what you like is it? Most friends and family have been visiting but of course they have their lives and jobs too. So lots of sympathy there.

My hubby was really good so I have no complaints there, although I agree that because you look ok they think you are ok. About the sense of smell - mine is really off since the operation (12 months ago) - things smell really strange particularly anything with onion in it. When I first started cooking again I threw away lots of onions because I thought they had gone off, it took a while to realise that it was my sense of smell and not the onions!

With me it was taste - everything TASTED dreadful (maybe it WAS the smell).

I especially hated the smell/taste of coffee. Which was weird because I loved having my cuppa in the morning. Eventually it wore off though.

Maybe it was the drugs they gave us?



Treat yourself gently and remind dh that it WAS MAJOR SURGERY. I Loved my 6 weeks off and pampered myself completely treating myself like the princess I was!

Hello Melissa



What you are going through is perfectly normal.There were times when I wanted to my husband on a daily basis.

I had to take stock of my behaviour too, so to save my sanity this is what I did.
If DH didnt cook, neithor did I
If Dh did'nt clean, neithor did I
I also made suggestions that we clean up togethor, then I did very little
We also cooked together, but I only made the coffee

I also suggest you start to put yourself first,
you are a special honey.

As for me, I then went back to work after 5 weeks, very light duties only, my work mates waited on me, far more than my own family.

Take care, things will get better

Bev

I have also had a terrible time with loneliness and can relate to you being stir crazy. My DH has been good I have to say, leaving me lunch in the fridge and he does the dinners, but then he has always been the cook in our family.
But it was when he went back to work I had problems, as he is away up to 10hrs a day, often 6 days a week.
That's a long time to be on your own. I am a social creature by nature and really miss my work colleagues and the interaction. My friends and family haven't called as much as I had hoped since the initial couple of weeks, but email friends who have been great! This website has become my main support I have found, which surprised me.

All I can say is hang in there, at the time it seems to be forever but now I am returning to work it all seems to be a bit of a blur.

I found having regular things during the day to look forward to helped.
ie walk at 8.30am then,
Check out Hystersisters then,
Rest with radio and read or knit until 11.30am when tv show I liked came on.
Lunch
Check in with Hystersisters
Watch video (friends kindly taped quilt shows for me)
Afternoon tea
etc, etc whatever you can find that interests you.
All the best.